Reasons To NOT Reenlist.

01 Stupid haircuts
02 Duty 03 Formations
04 Weapons maintenance (all day)
05 Field Day
06 Having a shit bag with a disgusting house come white glove your room and fail you for “dust” that you need a microscope to see
07 You should avoid repeating your mistakes
08 Mass punishments that get you constantly hammered and fucked with despite having a completely clean record
09 They stationed you in Yuma or 29 palms
10. Your unit invented “LCpl’s Course”
11. The field in the cold/rain/snow/hail/hot/sandstorms/any number of the above.
12. The countless dry runs you have to do before you even get to run the range with real rounds.
13. The standing by to stand by to stand by while standing by.
14. Death by powerpoint.
15. Police calling anything and everything.
16. Spending your own money on shit you don’t need. Think gear lists…
17. Hikes/Humps
18 – 15 minutes prior to 15 minutes prior.
19 – 14 Area Chow Hall @ Pendleton.
20 – Substandard Barracks.
21 – Field Day being totally blow out of proportion.
22 – The promotion system that nobody will fix.
23 – Government Travel Cards linked to your personal credit.
24 – “COME HERE DEVIL DOG”
25. G.I. Bill gives you free college, and college doesn’t have a ridiculous and antique set of rules that enforce “order” and “Discipline”
26. Hypocritical leadership i.e. Ninja Punching Frenzies that create an awkward/uncomfortable environment
27. Safety Standowns
28. exaggerated stories of when your SNCO was a Corporal, and how he “ran shit” back then
29. Looking busy to look busy; because if you sit and play angry birds; it’s bad juju.
30. Unit goes dry
31. tattoos
32. medical science experiment day ( doc i swear to all living shit if you miss one more time, i’m fucking you up)
33. people who without the rank structure would be the Pulitzer prizes for the darwin awards
34. shitting in a shitter that shits back at you (31st MEU ace know those poopers)
35. Being put on comrats and being reminded any cooking devices in the barracks are contraband
36 Not being able to have a freaking coffee pot out of fear of your burning down a stone barracks
37. The barracks never having working anything or repair crews available, but Housing gets individual fixes in under 24 hours
38. 6 cans of beer is ok, but 7 cans is an OMGWTFISWRONGWITHYOUDEVILDOG
39. PT at 5 am
40. NCOs telling boots your a psychopath and are going to shoot up the squadron because you own a few guns
41. Working parties
41- Because you get told things like, “No whistling in uniform.”
42- Grass is meant to be walked on.
43- Again, tattoos.
44- At 21, I feel like I’m 50.
45- Not being trusted with Whiskey in the barracks.
46. Being able to keep your hands warm by using your pockets.
47. Not having to wear a belt with your street clothes
48. Being able to buy whatever you want with out routing paperwork for nice things
49. Your personal firearms can remain in your possession
50. Getting fucked with at work can’t follow you home any more, if it does you can sue the bastards
51. The humor and shit talking rises above the 8th grade level
52. midtwenties is the perfect age for picking up college freshmen and sophomores
53. If you want to go somewhere, go, no paperwork needed or wanted
54. Keep all the booze in your house you want, fuck start a distillery
55. Job sucks? Quit and find a new one
56. Bosses all idiots? Start your own business and show them that they suck
57. Sleeves, boot blouses and a haircut are worth more then performance and attitude ever will be
58. No one gives a shit if your one minute late in the real world
59. 15 prior is on time, no that is called early, on time is on time
60. No one is checking your gig line in a suit and tie
61. You can unbutton a suit jacket and get more comfortable
62. Being too boot to know anything, if your answer does not agree with the worldview of someone senior
63.. Being too senior to get away with anything, if you’re not still in boot camp in the worldview of someone senior
64. SHOW SOME INITIATIVE! YOU’RE A GOD DAMNED ____!!!/WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO MAKE DECISIONS?! YOU’RE JUST A ___!
65. Duty being responsible for things they have absolutely zero control/influence over (i.e. Cpl. Schmuckatelli beating his wife to death in base housing because he caught her in bed w 1st Sgt. Dicklick)
66. If you forget your ID card you can still eat.
67. The food you eat most likely wont make you shit out bloody, hemmy inducing golf balls.
68. If you make a legal fuck up/mistake you won’t get charged and punished twice for it.
69. Your hair doesn’t require a weekly reboot to retard, at your own expense.
70. Gotees.
71. Girls will still think you’re a badass.
72. You won’t be surrounded by self-inflated, overbearing, loud, immature, tap-out wearing, truck driving, COD playing brohiems. Yeah, you still will be.
73. Your ass can’t take getting screwed over anymore….?
74. Being a Marine in a “Marine” unit with a Navy Commander as the BNCO.
75. You can still be sleeping at 0530
76. Shaving every day can be a pain
77. FOD walks/Police calls
78. Can use toilet after cleaning it without fear of failing inspection the next morning
79. Your manager or supervisor’s spouse won’t try to give your orders or some bullshit
80. Cops are cops but they’re a damn sight better then MPs
81. Forget to shave? Hey man not a problem, try to get that next time
82. What’s a grooming standard?
83. Days off don’t require your boss’s boss’s boss to approve them
84. way more difficult to actually travel to fun countries anymore
85. realizing that no matter how creative, intelligent, or good you are at your job you will still be judged on your haircut and sleeve rolls
86. trivial shit like one of your marines having a handle of Jack in his room become a huge ordeal where you’re at fault
87. getting called on-duty for a formation during libo because someone got caught with a handle of Jack in their barracks room
88. barracks are built in the 1940’s and are falling apart, but it’s the marines’ fault for not taking the initiative to repaint their own walls while simultaneously being told that it’s not their job to repaint the walls
89. Your wife is thinking about enlisting…
90. Doing NOTHING all day and then cramming 20 different tasks into the last 20mins…making you stay until some god awful time as a result. Who the fuck does that in the civilian world, it’d get you fired?
91. Living 20 miles from work, and having to face a 90 minute drive to work when all the units are home from deployment. In a town that doesn’t have public transportation or a true highway system.
92. Being 2 hours late for work because they’re doing mandatory 100% ID checks in the morning. Then being told it’s your fault because you’re a single Sgt who lives off base and the barracks is at 97% capacity.
93. Unit going dry for a month, then non-NCOs being banned from having alcohol in the barracks for the next 3 months because 2 NCOs got DUIs.
94. Getting physically assaulted by and NCO after you’ve told him to stop trashing your room. Three other NCOs standing there let it happen, then explain to you that if you say anything, they’ll claim you swung first.
95. Seniors who hate their off duty lives because they hate their families, and take it out on you by not letting you off work, coming to your barracks constantly to “check on things”, and having mass section punishments in front of the barracks while other Marines from your unit stroll past laughing.
96. Seniors who live in base housing and trash it out, but god forbid your room be untidy while you’re in it.
97. Being dismissed for the weekend and driving an hour to your weekend destination, only to be recalled in 30 minutes after getting there. Having to explain to g/f that “it must be important” so you don’t have to listen to her whine about it being bullshit (cause you already know it is). Getting back to work, being asked “why aren’t you in uniform” when you get there, then being told five minutes after you get there that the reason everyone was called in was to pass word about what time to be back to work on Monday. Ever heard of a fucking phone?
98. Getting thrown out of the chow line trying to get lunch on fourth of July at your makeshift chow hall in your COP/FOB in Iraq for having a five o’clock shadow since you didn’t shave immediately upon returning from your 12+ hour, overnight road repair.
99. Living somewhere that doesn’t have running water for months on end, then being lifed for not having a proper shave or haircut, but god forbid they do something about the fact that you’ve been using a half gallon of water to bathe yourself once weekly.
100. Remembering how stupid you’ve felt for four years after the last re-enlistment.
101. Duty can not be mentioned enough.
102. 24 hour duty followed by a full day of work
103. Duty EVERY sundy in a month, plus 2 other times…married with kids, one duty is on easter.
104. Random SNCO’s coming to your home (barracks) just to harass you for something stupid, like not shaving before you walked 20 feet to the laundry room.
105. Fucktard Os
106. Fucktard SNCOs
107. Fucking with barracks Marines
108. Being constantly reminded about how there’s always someone else who is “more of a Marine” than you are
109. Joint service deployments
110. Cross decking to another service will just make you “that guy” for the rest of your career
111. You’ve just barely managed to start speaking normal english around friends and family again, double dipping’s gonna ensure you have the starts of SNCO syndrome at the least for the rest of your life
112. after a second tour when you go back to college you’ll just be a creepy old guy instead of the cool slightly older dude who can drink whole frats under the table
113. fucking bullshit cannot be restated enough
114. Your life will no longer suck or be decent on the whims of your superiors
115. Staying late at work means they pay you more instead of you losing libo time
116. You can buy your own guns to shoot in the real world and the range fucking nonsense doesn’t come with them
117. You can decorate your personal space with more then just a calendar and a thin layer of pine-sol
118. You can clean said personal space to YOUR satisfaction
119. If the place you live at sucks you can move
120. You don’t have to hide all your personal belongings and seal them in locked boxes every day like someone with an OCD fear of theft
121. You will never have to blouse your boots again
122. College is a full time option as opposed to a nightmare that requires sacrificing your rare libo time and occasionally some of your hard earned leave to acquire
123. You can wake up in the morning and actually think about what you’re going to wear to work124. Federal budget issues will not directly threaten your paycheck
125. Healthcare might cost more, but the Doctors might actually GAF instead of just handing you some motrin
126. It’s not how good you are (i.e. know your job, don’t get a DUI, etc) It’s who you can suck off
127. 2/3 bases you go to will have no attractive/non-scum sucking women within 100+ miles
128. I would much rather be in bed with a sexy little thing than sleeping in some shithole with a bunch of marines. continued…
129. Duty, barracks life, field day.
130. Getting your base driving privileges revoked because the cops gave you a DUI ticket DESPITE the absolute lack of evidence of intoxication. 0.00% BAC, clean SACO piss test. cocoa-bandits. Still no word on the County’s magical spice test that was taken four months ago.
131. Getting lifed by the same female sergeant that I woke up in my room mates rack (when we were LCpls). I didn’t give her the proper greeting of the day….
132. Staying an extra two hours at work to field day the shop. Shop is mega clean in half an hour, the SNCO’s wanna hang around and BS so they find “cobwebs and dust” on the lights, the lights that are 20 feet above the floor.
133. The epically retarded field days when a general decides to come and visit. The last one was checking in on the MWSS, not the MALS at all, yet our division, 6 miles separated from EVERYBODY ELSE ON THE STATION spent 10 hours cleaning.
134. The SNCO’s believe that we should buy cleaning supplies for the shop with our own money.
135. Come into work 5 minutes late and your are the epitome of a shitbag, no matter how hard you work your ass off everyday. When a SNCO rolls in an hour late, in civvies, its mostly expected.
136. The Cpl who has a third class PFT, somehow skips PT at the commands blessing, one det to Iwakuni two years ago, no Cpls course, fat, retarded, etc. Has higher pros and cons because of a CDI stamp. As in default 4.7/4.7s. The other guy with the first class, two deployments, Cpls Course, Expert, etc, but is about a month away from this wonderful CDI stamp gets 4.5/4.5 at the best stretch.
137. Picking up everybody elses cigarette butts. Picking up nightcrew’s cigarette butts, because honestly, why the fuck would they care?
138. At any time, the duty can walk into my room for whatever he feels like. A police officer out in town would need a fucking warrant.
139. Marines have too many bosses
140. The words “I need volunteers” makes you cringe and look away, even as a civilian
141. My senior leadership has committed more heinous crimes than most junior marines I seen
142. My four year tan belt doesn’t really help me in a fight
143. My junior marines that are married live with diplomatic living quarters immunity.
144. Somebody say “SgtMaj Vines” yet?
145. Your barracks rotting from the inside out. Mold covering civilian clothes that HAD TO BE FUCKING FOLDED A CERTAIN WAY and locked up even though you washed them 3 days ago.
146. Glow belts. Not only will you die without one but it’ll either be because someone won’t notice the ENTIRE FUCKING BATTALION doing a fucking road hump/pt’ing and will run your ass over. Or you will be mistaken for a haji and shot on site by the first person who you come across.
147. Some fat piece of shit never leaves the wire E8 lifing the fuck out of you for having your hands in your pockets at 7am coming off an overnight convoy. Yes my hands are fucking cold, thanks for your concern.
148. “Well Chief your guys are very sound tactically, your weapons are clean and your trucks are fueled. That’s all well and good, but I noticed a few of your guys could use a shave. Have you thought about having them take a small hygiene kit in their camelbaks?”–From the SSGT adviser to our BTN
149. That outergarmet that was issued to you is not an approved outergarmet. It must be worn UNDER your uniform.
150. That hat you’re wearing is only acceptable during the hours of darkness. Dusk doesn’t count. Neither does right before dawn.
151. ATTENTION TO DETAIL TURD!!!! They act like if you can’t fucking fold a skivvie stack correctly you won’t find the IED, like they’re directly correlated.
152. From an Airforce ROTC Cadet: Officers to be are selected solely by numbers like GPA and not any real leadership ability or potential, much less the ability to put a uniform on right (for the Airforce list)
153. Don’t go to medical just get some PT in you’ll feel better, coughing up blood isn’t serious
154. You gained weight because of medication the military put you on? Completely your fault LCpl quit being a fat fuck
155. A speck of dust in your room means you have a colony of rodents living with you and your about to die from Ebola
157. If you have some hairs on your neck, you’re the biggest shit bag the Corps has ever seen.
158. You have to fill out an ORM to drive over 100 miles.
159. Sitting in a formation while some officer talks for hours and hours.
160. Singing cadence while marching.
161. Singing cadence ever.
162. The Chow hall.
163. Having to beg to live off base away from a building that should be condemned.
164. Shaving.
165. You won’t be pulled from you’re home to go stand guard at the office.(Duty in the barracks.)
166. Even though you’ve NEVER failed a field day inspection in 3 years 11 months 3 weeks and 6 days, and you are literally leaving straight from formation to DPAC to pick up your DD214 and leave for good, they STILL make you stand for room inspection.
167. You’ll have more money after you get out because you won’t have to rely on alcohol and nicotine to make it through the soul crushing pain of every day existence
168. Acting like an adult instead of an over grown teenager with a paycheck becomes sociably acceptable
169. If some random jackass around you gets injured he’s no longer your problem because he’s a junior Marine from your unit
170. YOU CAN ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT SHITBAGS (like get the fuckers fired)
171. Job performance actually dictates your level of compensation and future career more then incidental things like your haircut and how fast you can run a big circle
172. You might work with idiots, but you don’t have to live with the bastards any more
173. Mass punishment is now called harassment or mistreatment of employees
174. You don’t have to lat move and reenlist to get a better or different job
175. You can see your significant other on a regular basis
178. Business trips will not last close to a year or require you to have a rifle and flak jacket.
179. Haircut? maybe next month
180. Losing a tool (outside of civilian aircraft maintenance) is a mild annoyance instead of an earth shattering freak out by your ENTIRE command
181. Staying late means more time on the clock, talk as much as you want boss
182. No one gives a shit of about your “Moostach hairs”
183. You can walk around with your shirt tails out
184. You can walk around looking like a bunch of elvises
185. You can walk around looking like a cowboy
186. You can walk around looking like a bunch of cowboy elvises
187. Beanies/Watch Caps can be worn at any hour your head is cold
188. Mr. Potato head goes from lethal threat to harmless child’s toy
189. Charms and apricots are no longer the spawn of satan, just nasty and stupid respectively
190. Theres another one, NO MORE MREs!!!
191. Wallets never need to be kept in your socks.
192. Unions and strikes help control your evil bosses. Perhaps one day junior Marines will organize a mutiny and reclaim their humanity and souls!
193. Whenever someone asks for volunteers, it’s never, “I need volunteers…to escorts these super-models around base.”
194. Pros & Cons really do not reflect at all.
195. You’re allowed to walk and multitask.
196. Nobody will ever pull their car over, stopping traffic, just to yell at you for doing the above.
197. Walking and eating, why wouldn’t you?
198. You can use all the pockets you have on your clothing with out fear of retribution
199. Not having to spend another four years as a LCPL.
200. Not having to go back to Iraq [Afghanistan] again.
201. MOL
202. My boss will no longer make decisions that can/will get me killed
203. “IF IT AIN’T RAININ’ WE AIN’T TRAININ!”
204. Lectures from Staff n O about how “Paying bills is important” when I am older than both and have more life experience living on my own than both combined.
205. Anything in a motor pool
206. Motard speech
207. Shoes for work will not cost $150
208. Choice of where to live (anywhere in the country … hell world)
209. Acronyms
210. Getting told by gunny who is holding a formation: “Stand by right here I need to go have a staff meeting” (happened friday)
211. Made up words – ie orientate
« Last Edit: April 04, 2011, 06:13:27 AM by 03 Spades Champion »
Logged
The Duffel Blog: Where Trolling is a pleasure.
03 Spades Champion on April 01, 2011, 09:12:59 AM
Senior Lance
****
Posts: 892 The Duffel Blog
Echo Five Sierra
212. Getting a job, showing up 15 minutes early and it’s weird.
213. Buying a motorcycle and nobody gives a shit
214. Leaving your normal place of work for an extended period of time (business trip) will probably last less than 2 weeks.
215. The Civilian Judicial System doesn’t have “General Article” to get you arrested because the cop is pissed off
216. *at least for us small town folk* When people hear you’re a Marine they’re convinced, regardless of how much you try to explain to them that you’re a paper pushing POG that you can kill a man with a paperclip, pilot a helicopter, drive a tank and anything else they saw in Call of Duty.
217. Dreadlocks
218. Appropriate Civilian Attire
219. When your work day ends, you don’t have to rush home to start drinking so if your boss calls you in at 11:30pm to take care of something my 5 year old daughter could do you can explain to him that you’re too drunk to work.
220. No safety standarounds
221. You want a day off? Talk to someone else and trade shifts.
222. It’s Friday and your boss doesn’t tell you how to be safe on a weekend
223. No uniform inspections
224. No unit PT
225. Not dealing with NMCI and S6 (who will send you back and forth forever)
226. You can get something other than 800mg of ibuprofen and water for anything ranging from a spriained toe to a missing limb.
227. Want to call someone while you’re driving? Have at it.
228. Large beds. That only you have slept on, had sex in, beat off in, committed war crimes in, whatever.
229. No more mass punishment
230. No more piss poor preparation
231. no more fucking mci’s
232. Spending over a year in a down medical status and being diagnosed with PTSD/Alcoholism/Psychosis because I received a pg 11 for underage drinking while the COs little pet gets off with a shortened rank reduction period for a DUI.
233. If you want to take vacation, you request your time off and go… unlike the Marine Corps, where you have to say where you are going, give the plan of how you are getting there, timelines, fill out an ORM, go through counseling, and talk with the 1stSgt and CO about your upcoming trip.
234. You no longer will have to salute people that you would rather beat up and give a swirly (Bootenants)
235. OKINAWA
236. No more hearing “Pen, Water, Biscuit, Choco-LOT, Mister Mister, or AMRIKA #1”
237. NALCOMIS
238. OOMA
239. being told when i have to be back on base and how far away im allowed to go
240. Random “Health and Comfort” inspections that are basically searches for contraband
241. No more mortar attacks, rocket attacks, or fobbit rushes.
242. No more IEDs.
243. There’s no such thing as a space marine.. [Reply from Fox: …yet.]
244. No more showing up for a flight 6 hours prior
245. No more loading your own bags for said flight
246. No more waking up at oh dark stupid to draw a weapon for a hike
247. i’ll pick up in rank due to the vast knowledge of my job.
248. i’ll get paid more cause i work more, and harder then the jackass next to me.
249. EVERY LAZY FUCK CAN TAKE OUT HIS/HER OWN fuckING TRASH!
250. getting a page 11 because youre underweight and can’t afford to feed yourself
251. having hair on your head longer than your pubic hair
252. i could wear a beater wherever i want to unapologetically
253. Getting told to stop fucking around on the computer so I can clean the shop (the last crew left it looking like ass). Thirty minutes later getting stuck as phone watch so everyone can play 31 in the shop I just cleaned.
254. FUCKING PHONE WATCH
255. The inability to read minds. (Duty day off, word is passed and I’m not there, nobody calls me). I’m expected to know to call to check on word that had been passed thrice with no deviation to see if it’s still true. But I don’t. Tries to run me UA. Are youf shitting me, Guns? I swear to Christ I will burn your house down on Christmas eve and when your house is burning down I ill tell your kids there is no Santa.
256. Liberty cards
257. Waking at at 4:30 for PT…
258. living off base and waking at 4:00 for PT :/
259. Running at whatever pace I want to. Or not running at all. It doesn’t matter.
260. No more GMTs
261. I have a big ass dog and didn’t ask anyone for permission to get one.
262: Hello boss, I’m buying a motorcycle…. Boss: And you’re telling me this because…
263: Being able to conceal carry.
264: Hello boss, I am getting married….. Boss: Congrats?
265. Hello Boss, I want to travel to this place this weekend (place is far away)….Boss: Stop calling me and telling me about your shit dumbass, I don’t fucking care. Thanks for letting me know, but please don’t call me unless you won’t be able to make it to work.
266: BIG ASS TITTIES! [Fox Response: Invalid reason. It’s definitely easier to get a hold of some big ass titties while you’re still in.]
267. Not having to rely on porn for attractive females. They actually exist out in the civilian world.
268. 266. No threat of being stopped/ID’d/breathalized/pulled over/searched everytime you pull into work.
269. When the Government shuts down, you will still get paid. (considering you work in the private sector.)
270. No matter how big of dick your boss is, he can’t come to your house and tell you how to clean your toilet, sink, make a bed…
271. Liberty Briefs.
272. Port Liberty Breifs.
273. Getting a liberty brief for hours when porting in HAWAII. So we can “practice” for other countries…
274. Even as a Sergeant getting treated like a kid/punished because some Sergeant or other NCO in a different section you never deal with fucked up.
275. Freshwater systems on Navy ships that don’t work. (Water Conservation…)
276. 30+ Year old Navy ships that take two months to get you to the fight, then break down in the middle of the Pacific ocean on your way home (Happened on both ships I was on both times I went with the MEU)
277. Listening to NAMs being given to S1 clerks for creating excel documents when you just spent 7 months working your ass off every day and night to ensure the missions you are given (inside and outside your MOS) are completed and completed well.
278. Your Bn Commander getting a Bronze star for being the Bn Commander. (Who almost never left Hotel California in TQ while you were sweating it out in a FOB)
279. Pulling weeds all day and then finding out you won’t even be getting paid on the 1st. The only thing missing was a guy on a horse with a shotgun
280. Ridiculous PT sessions at 0530 and 40 degrees with some retard that doesn’t bring his sweats and the entire group has to go bare legs.
281. Won’t have to listen to retards call cadence.
282. No more motard cadence. Yes, I understand you want to kill something. This is the airwing. Lat move or GTFO.
283. Screaming your motard cadence loud enough to wake up the barracks gets you points with your SNCO’s.
284. No more cadence.
285. 15 minutes of warming up for PT won’t turn into mini kill sessions because the guy leading the ‘warm up’ won’t be a motard and want to show off how awesome he thinks he is because he thinks we’ll care.
286. The Navy redirecting the AC so that they get icicles in their birthings and the Marines get nothing.
287. Lining up and waiting about 2 hours for chow on ship… and it of course tastes horrible.
288. Mackie Hall
289. Being mass punished with sleeping in tents if EVERYONE does not pass field day
290. Even if you are in a Grunt company, you’ll still probably have a POG-ass 1stSgt.
291. Crazy-ass SNCO’s that just can’t bear to see Marines doing nothing. This is when bullsh*t time fillers start happening.
292. Collecting brass
293. Formations before a 96 that go something like this. BN Formation lasts 1 Hr. Then released to Company formation which lasts 45 minutes. Then released to your platoons which takes another 30 minutes. Then released to your squad/section for a 15 minute libo brief when at the end, you are volunteered for a working party to take part in before you are finally released… from the working party formation where someone you never met and didn’t know was in your units gives you another brief.
294. Haircuts. I get them whenever the fuck I want to. I distinctly remember getting yelled at in Kuwait at the first morning muster (faggy squiddy talk for “formation) at 6 after being out of Iraq for less than 10 hours because my hair was completely unsat. Then I got yelled at again at the second muster at 8 because my hair hadn’t been cut yet. Fucking barber didn’t open till like 10 or some shit.
295. The pre-muster muster. Arriving 15 minutes early to be 15 minutes early for the pre-muster muster to tell you that there will be some word passed at a muster in an hour.
296. Never having to listen to fobbit war stories again about how that one time on Al-Asad intel said that there may be rockets capable of landing somewhere in between the TCP and ECP fences and how hardcore that was.
297. Never having to listen to some douchebag tell everyone about how “we build, we fight” is an ethos and a way of life.
298. Being able to fire people who are pieces of shit and do nothing but complain about how hard it is to sit in their room and get paid to play COD all day… because they had to run 3 miles that morning.
299. Gear-Queers
300. SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
301. Haters that can’t pass a PFT or qual on the range but say you picked up because you “suck dick.” actually, i can see this happening in the real world… haters will hate.
302. People can’t hide behind their rank in the real world… say something fucked up and you might get hit.
303. Not having to listen to a guy who went from living with mom and dad to living with uncle sam tell you about how hard the civilian life is and that you should re-enlist when you moved out of home at 17 and didn’t join the corps till 22.
304. Not having to clean up “ghost turds” that accumulate only because of the nasty fucking wool blanket you FORCE me to keep on my bed.
305. Posting moto-pics on your facebook just got cool again…
306. You can wear all of your deployment/unit skivvy shirts in town and not look like a d-bag.
307. White socks
308. The new people who come to your workplace aren’t scared into being completely and totally incompetent retards.
309. IPAC
310. hot and cold water in the shower, unlike gator-Navy berthing, it was nothing but icewater for 4 months straight
311. I can piss in my back yard without worrying that someone is staring at my dick through a Gboss
312. Officers that have no leadership potential, yet got into OCS because of a Botany Degree.
313: A college degree means you have the ability to be an officer
314: College degrees don’t mean your intelligent or competent, yet you will still work for this person
315. My shower curtain doesn’t have to be only one solid color, with no designs.
316. I can make my bed with whatever I want, any way I want, if I even want to make my bed.
317. Random people do not get to walk through my closet every week, even though *wink wink* my closet isn’t open since that’s against the rules.
318. A former supervisor (Sgt type) who got kicked out of the “office” because even the “boss” got tired of him, does not get to run rampant through peoples living spaces.
319. If I don’t feel the need for a shower mat, it’s not a big deal.
320. My toothbrush is no longer “gear adrift” that has to be secured.
321. If the cops pull up en masse to my neighborhood, everybody doesn’t neccesarily feel the compulsion to get rid of their lighter fluid or that 7th beer.

Rants of a Boot Marine

I joined the Marine Corps in January of this year, thinking that it would give me some sort of direction. Ever since I had graduated high school in 2011, I was bored with college, didn’t feel like wasting money going to parties and orgies that my friends were all doing, and wanted something better that just being stuck with the two choices in life that people were making: college or military.

But I felt that I was stuck in a rut and decided with much hesitation to join the Marines due to the crazy part of my mind not wanting to join the pussified Army or Navy. It was a decision I regretted when I stepped on those yellow footprints. Here’s what I discovered in boot camp.

1. The Few and the Proud no longer applies. In my platoon we had two screw ups that could have gotten anyone on the battlefield. These guys should have been either weeded out in MEPS or at least dropped for failure to adapt to the Marine Corps, but somehow the Drill Instructors were crazy enough to let them stay. What does this mean, ANYONE can join, and ANYONE can pass, provide that they can tolerate three months of legalized hazing.

2. Following up on the 1st discovery, boot camp does NOT turn you into a responsible, grown young man. I’ve seen guys turn into selfish individuals willing to steal, screw over, and abuse their authority. While not everyone in my platoon was like that, at least HALF believe it or not, HALF were like them. And parents are blindly repeating the phrase, “joining the military will make your son into a man”. Bullshit.

3. Drill, drill, drill. They can say all the crap that they want about how it creates discipline and team camaraderie. Bullshit, I know people that didn’t take the effort to grow. And how on earth does “right shoulder” arms create discipline? These days, drill instructors focus WAY too much on drill in an effort to get some kind of medal/citation come graduation. Really? You become a hero just because you won final drill and deserve a medal for it? Holy shit, they should mention how much they IT’d all of the recruits just because they couldn’t do an eyes right!

4. Lies and Hypocrisy…….wtf happened to Integrity? Did everyone decide to throw Integrity out of the window in an effort to cover for themselves and look good in the process? Here are a couple of great examples coming from my own senior drill instructor:

The Saturday after Black Friday, there was a kid from a different platoon that hopped the fence next to the airport (I went to Boot Camp at San Diego btw) and got cuffed as a result. Our senior talked about how he was going to be thrown in jail for going AWOL. I actually ran into the kid the next day at church who actually said that he was just talked out of ever doing it again from his senior. 

Our senior lied to us AGAIN about how during the hikes he carried three 30 pound weights in addition to the essential equipment during our hikes at Pendleton. I found out that he only carried pillows that made his pack look big when I was doing Gear Guard (they made me do this frequently since I wasn’t a big screwup).

In the classes, they teach us about how we had to treat any potential enemy with respect should we capture them. But many of the DI’s were bragging about how they poked eyeballs of corpses or how they sliced ears off to collect as trophies from the battlefield. Now this came from a couple instructors who were supposed to teach us on how to handle POW’s if we ever captured any.

Despite all of these crazy things that I discovered that would have given me a reason to want to quit, somehow I decided to stay throughout the Crucible, and graduated with Mike Company in April.

Wanting to talk about what I saw, I ended up appearing on Adam Vs The Man during my boot leave, seeking for some sort of help I suppose you can say before leaving for MCT.

At MCT I discovered the same old problem of do as I say, not as I do. Plenty of Combat Instructors while being somewhat decent, were threatening us with NJP’s if they discovered that we weren’t carrying our full packs but one even said that he just carried nothing but pillows (WTF?!) during our hikes. Not to mention they confiscated many of the tobacco dippers dip while they were openly dipping in front of us students.

I ended up somehow staying, decided to see what other problems I could talk to the outside world about what’s wrong with being inside the Marine Corps, which resulted in me being stuck on Guard Duty after MCT, which is nothing more than forcing 5 groups of two Marines walking around SOI for four hours straight doing nothing but radio checks every 15 minutes. Did I mention many of us went to hiding spots where we did nothing but sleep and shoot the shit while stalking ITB students doing Land Navigation? That’s what happens when you force them to do something that stupid. The only bright side to it was that Guard Duty also meant operating the chow bell, raising Colors, and loading condition 3 and guarding change of command/retirement ceremonies instead of participating in them.

We also had our first taste of mass punishment when on retarded kid somehow fell asleep RIGHT IN THE FUCKING OPEN while guarding audio equipment one night on the parade deck, which resulting in our off base liberty being changed to base liberty. How pissed off can you get especially when you made plans to visit your cousin, or had a girlfriend/wife flying in outside of Camp Pendleton? Holy shit, just beat the crap out of the screwup and let that be a warning to anyone who dares to fall asleep on front post in the future! But screw the base liberty as it was the first time I ever acted belligerent and decided to leave anyways and returned without anyone noticing.

Now at my MOS school, I am here typing this up, wondering when all this bullcrap of easy NJP’s, weekly haircuts, and daily shaves will ever end. I’ve met plenty of individuals who also have thought of this crap, losing their previous motivation, wanting a way to leave in a clean manner (as in getting a decent discharge without dishonorable/oth on it).

I ask of you, how can you get out once you hit the fleet? Do you just apply for conscientious objector or what can you do to discharge yourself?

I know yeah, I am a new Marine and many will say, “well suck it up since you’ll eventually become a Lance Corporal” (contract PFC with bonus language pay here, which means I earn as much as a Lance), “you’re just a boot”, bla bla, but I am totally aware of what’s going on and why so many are hating life in the Marines right now.

It’s definitely a nice title to have if you want respect, discounts, or someone always covering for you when they find out that you’re a Marine, but to live currently in the Corps can definitely make you weaker physically, mentally, and emotionally, and can turn you from some innocent young man into a degenerate, mindless, backstabbing killer.

 

 

Submitted by: “Brass Neck”

Personality Disorder (Everybody Lies)

Anyone who has had to deal with people between the ages of 17 and 24 on a daily basis knows that the youth of our nation, especially the males, can be accurately described as dishonest.  There are honest young men and women, but the task of identifying them is difficult to say the least.  Many young men will exaggerate or distort their own backgrounds in order to enhance their persona and create an image of themselves that is much tougher and more masculine than in reality.  This phenomenon can be observed anywhere young males gather, but is especially prevalent and obvious on or near military bases.

Boots fresh from, well, boot camp, spend their ten to thirty days back at home where they amaze friends, poolees, and family with tales of all the outstanding training they completed and the awesome friends they just made and how great their life is about to be.  What once were only rumors between recruits become facts as uncles and veterans buy them drinks and homeboys hand them 40’s.  What used to be “this kid mouthed off and the DI’s took him into the Duty Hut and he came back fine” becomes “yeah this one kid disrespected our Senior so they took him into the head and whupped his ass.  Then we gave him a blanket party that night like in Full Metal Jacket.”  This kind of exaggeration is only the beginning.

There are many Marines in the Corps, and their backgrounds and personalities, however full of shit they may be, are diverse.

The Cowboy:  He grew up “on a farm” which could mean anything from actually being raised on a ranch in Wyoming to growing up in Chicago.  Some of these Marines will say they are from rural communities but will know not one thing about agriculture or livestock.  They are easily recognized by the gigantic wad of tobacco in their mouth and their ridiculous attire:  Shitkickers, skin-tight Nut-Wranglers (complete with dip can ass circle), pearl snap button shirt (plaid or Native American design), fifty-gallon hat, and somewhere between three to seven pounds worth of motivation as a belt buckle (they will say it came from a silversmith and totally not that place right off base that sells ones that look amazingly similar).  The Cowboy will speak in a stereotypical “southern” accent and will most likely be heard loudly expelling racist and sexist jokes or telling fabricated tales based on violence towards animals, minorities, and women.
Cowboy’s Lie about:  Everything.  Don’t trust a word out of their dip-filled word hole.

The Gangster:  This reject will claim to be in a street gang (or recently out of one) but will have no tattoos, friends, pictures, or any other evidence.  Gangster Marines came from “the hood” which can be almost anywhere, including rural Idaho.  They are often seen wearing eccentric jewelry and…whatever the rappers are wearing these days, really.  This leads to them being heckled and sent home to change into proper attire, and can be very amusing for those in observance.  Marines falling into this category rarely listen to anything that is not considered rap, hip-hop, soul, or R&B, and will openly mock any other musician whom they believe would be physically inferior to (insert rapper’s name here).  The accents differ slightly, but often rely upon African American and Latino stereotypes (using the expletives “nigga” “ese” and “homes”).  The Gangster Marine will openly flaunt a false relationship with a known gang while also associating with a Gangster Marine from a rival street gang, often proving the background story of both to be false.
Gangster’s Lie about:  They did every kind of training possible and always had a snappy comeback.

The True Motivator:  The bane of every normal Marine’s existence.  The True Motivator does not care for trivial things like “logic” “intelligence” or “efficiency,” they only concern themselves with OORAH.  To them, the Corps is an infallible deity that provides them with everything they want and need.  So proud they are of being a part of the organization, they refer to it as if it were their possession.  True Motivators refuse to leave their bed without at least one EGA or USMC showing at all times.  All shirts require motivational symbols or phrases (preferably both), and will be tucked in regardless of T-Shirt status.  The more barbaric the practice, the more the True Motivator will enjoy ripping apart its dismissal with neanderthalesque logic.  Things such as physical beatings, IT, and horse shoes are apparently what made the Marine Corps so great in the past, in their eyes.  This type of individual will defend the Corps’ deficiencies with tired excuses and misinformed lies with his last breath.
True Motivators Lie about:  The Corps.  Everything about the Corps that is fucked up, they will try to twist and explain as an asset.

The Blue Falcon:  Falcons can be difficult to spot, as they are everywhere and take many forms.  The obvious Blue Falcon can be seen quietly attempting to blend in with a group while attempting to secure valuable information for his superiors.  The Blue Falcon wants you to believe he is “just one of the guys.”  Sometimes you may hear one asking where the big, underage booze festival will be this weekend.  Sometimes he may blend in well enough to find his way there and witness Marines misbehaving, all the while noting names and offenses.  Falcons appear to be stellar Marines to their superiors while acting like complete scumbags to everyone else.  Discerning observers can spot a Falcon by their proper civilian attire, fake smile, and evil intentions.  Boots be wary.
Blue Falcons Lie about:  How they got promoted.

That Fuckin’ Guy:  He wakes up every morning and is already a fucking mess.  He can eat, sleep, and breath relatively well if nothing is distracting him (I was going to list the things this guy can’t do right, but it would be faster to list what he can do).  Your Senior Lance Corporals will yell at you for even being around him because he is a magnet for shit-storms.  This fuckin’ guy will bum cigarettes and dip off of anyone dumb enough to let him leech, even on payday.  He is the one that fell through the cracks.  He is the reason Drill Instructors hate Recruiters.  If they knew how goddamned awful he turned out, his Senior and Heavy would cry themselves to sleep every night in shame at what they have allowed to enter their beloved Corps, and probably begin plotting his recruiter’s doom.  That Fuckin’ Guy can be seen in cammies or PT gear…probably in a working party, his room or in the lounge, as he is on permanent restriction from back-to-back NJP’s, failing field day, and generally being a shitty excuse for a Marine.  He has not and will not adapt to military life, and there is no amount of hazing that can help it.  He will inevitably become the “Company Pet” that requires supervision whilst eating, working, sleeping, and shitting probably.
That Fuckin’ Guy Lies about:  Tells everyone back home he is an awesome Marine and everyone loves him.

The False Motivator:  Sarcasm is their business, and business is…fucking infinite.  You want them to wear little green panties to run in?  Ok, but theirs are two sizes too small, so now you have to see hairy, pasty, pale legs AND bouncing man-junk.  Those dicks drawn all over everything?  These guys.  Some douche bag captain complained because the running cadence was absolutely filthy and demotivating?  These guys.  Their vocabulary consists of inside jokes, often trading traditionally accepted phrases for “fuck you.”  Example: — “Tuck that shirt in, Devil Dog!” — “Rah, gunny” or “Kill!”  False Motivators can often be found cursing their own existence and awaiting their EAS so they don’t have to do this shit anymore.
False Motivators Lie about:  How motivated we…ah fuck my life, I’m getting drunk.

The Commissioned Fool:  Some people, even the college educated, are just stupid.  The Commissioned Fool will have no clue what is going on at any given time.  He/she will be ditzy and probably adorable in some way, much like an inbred kitten, but otherwise basically useless.  As dumb as they may be, they will receive more awards than you and be treated way better, mostly because of that education.  Okay, solely based upon that education.  Keep in mind that college does not make a person smart.
Commissioned Fools Lie about:  However the fuck their absurdly stupid ass made it through college and OCS.

Murtaugh:  The Marine Corps prefers her victi…ahem, recruits to be on the younger end of the spectrum.  A Murtaugh is a Marine whom enlisted later in life than most, normally older than 24.  Murtaughs can be observed rarely because they are ghosts and make excellent skaters.  They see how the inefficiencies of micromanagement negatively affect mission accomplishment and troop welfare and sigh in exasperation as they are, in fact, too old for this shit.
Murtaughs Lie about:  Nothing, they are too old for that shit.

IT Guy:  Some Marines enter the Corps with a working knowledge of computers.  This guy will inevitably become the interim IT Guy for everyone and will normally pretend to either not know how to fix your problem because you are a dick or demand booze as payment for services rendered on your virus-filled-porn-box.  You may or may not ever see him outside of work because he is so over this Marine shit like omfg.  Much gay.  So moto.
IT Guys Lie about:  Your laptop took 12 minutes to fix, the rest of the week was spent rifling through your porn and laughing hysterically at the pathetic love letters you send your cheating ass girlfriend.  Ha, pwned.

Foreign Dude:  These guys come from all over.  They may be a part of your MOS school class or they may be US Marines that haven’t received their citizenship yet.  You will learn a lot about their culture and homeland, but the first thing they will probably teach you is how to curse in their native tongue.  Hands-on observers are encouraged to watch the Foreign Dude get uncomfortable when you ask him what the age of consent is in their country.
Foreign Dudes Lie about:  He didn’t teach you how to tell those girls they are pretty.  You just told them you have an elf pecker.

Many of the fibs these guys tell are pretty harmless.  However, some of them decide to take it a bit too far.  There is a code among military men and women that goes something like; If you don’t rate it, don’t wear it.  Much like falsely claiming to be in a street gang, lying about your military history to the wrong people can lead you into a big fat ass beating.  There are a few ways to gauge how full of shit an individual may be, but they aren’t fool-proof.  Bragging is a huge red flag.  I have yet to meet a Marine that was actually proud of killing another human being.  Plenty have defended their action as necessary to prevent their friends from dying, but not one so much as cracked a smile while talking about it.  If a guy is bragging about how awesome his career was and all the places he has been, chances are he is full of shit.  Keep in mind that almost anything out of a drunken fool’s mouth will be bullshit in the first place, and will be exaggerated bullshit with the addition of said alcohol.

 

Submitted by: “AAVPOG”

Conscientious Objection

Good & evil

This is a topic I am sure most people have never heard of before.  Conscientious (Con-she-en-shus) Objection is when a person’s beliefs and morals will not allow their participation in war.

I am a Conscientious Objector.  I am opposed to war.  A book that I highly recommend reading is linked to on the home page of this website called, “War is a Racket”.  It is written by Major General Smedley Butler USMC.

For further information you can visit the GI Rights Hotline and The Center on Conscience and War I found the Center through the GI Rights Hotline.

Many Marines view this as a cowardly stance to have and it is often viewed in a negative light.  To understand it is an entirely different mindset.  You have to break free of the indoctrination this current generation is dealt on a daily basis.

I am like every other man, I love action movies.  I love seeing the explosions, guns, and violence, but I have learned a significant fact.  It is a fictional portrayal where no actual human being, no brother or sister in Christ, no soul is killed.  You may say, “Well no duh, that’s common sense!”

But, I ask you, is it really?  Do you take into consideration why you are fighting whomever you are sent to fight?  Do you consider the irreparable damage you would do or have to do to those people mentally, emotionally, physically?  I mean to real people, like you, me, your brother, sister, mom, and dad.

Let’s take a moment to turn the tables and use our imagination.  Imagine if Russia set up camp in Washington State.  They are tired of the US and its imperialistic behavior and come to suppress the military activity closest to its land.  So now they are kicking in doors, patrolling, and placing checkpoints everywhere.  They take firearms, arrest people everywhere, then torture and kidnap people they claim are terrorists who are fighting back.

How would these American fighters be viewed from America’s perspectives?  They would be patriots.  They would be heroes.  They would be the rallying cry of everyone tired of the Russian’s oppression on American land!

What is really different between that situation and the Middle East?

Now mind you, this is a mindset to bring you away from the “idea” of glory and warfare.  You have to bring yourself away from the mindset that glory and doing the right thing are one and the same.  I have my own delusions of grandeur all the time (being a war hero), but then I remember all the slaughter would not be helping anyone or have any positive cause.

Conscientious Objection is being an objector to war.  Objection to the pointless slaughter for whatever reason, religion or politics is not the key point here.  Smedley Butler said it best and helps us to understand why war is morally wrong; it is essentially trading blood for money.

I am often confronted with the statement that there will always be men who want to hurt others, and that is entirely true!  But why does no one stop them?  If I were the vice president and the president wanted to start a war because he was upset with another nation, I would do everything to stop the madness of sending men to kill and be killed who had nothing to do with the politics involved!

An example I can use would be Germany, what if Hitler’s generals told him no?  What if they refused and removed him based on moral grounds from slaughtering all the Jews?  What if they refused to ignite a war across the Continent?  WWII would have never happened.  This same idea can be used with every atrocity in history.  What if those below said no?

One Conscientious Objector said during WWII that he would gladly kill Hitler but he was not going to slaughter people to do so!

When going through the process of becoming classified as a Conscientious Objector it is not about what you believe about wars past and hypothetical future wars, it is about war as you know it.  War as we all know it in this current generation has unfolded before us for the last decade.  I am not specifically saying that because I am against the invasion of the Middle East I am an Objector, I am saying because of how war is waged I am a Conscientious Objector.

Take a second to understand my statement.

Where I was my ROEs were as open ended as they could be.  Here is an explanation:  If anyone, woman, child, man, made the motion to jump into the compound we were to shoot them, visibly armed or not.  There would be no attempt to detain in the event either.  This clicked in me showing the true value of life, that these were other humans with souls and they didn’t matter to these warmongers who led us.

This was during the building of the new embassy in Tripoli after the mission in Benghazi was assaulted.  The White House was still lying about the event having happened because of some protest that got out of hand.  We were under the impression that a riot could happen any day.

There are numerous examples of how little life means in the war culture!  It’s not just the USMC, it’s not just the US DoD, it is all militaries that are cruel and merciless.  You have the sheep getting its skull beat in by a soldier with a baseball bat, the honorable marine gleefully throwing a puppy off a cliff, the prisoners excessively abused, humiliated, and tortured.

Don’t forget Collateral Murder where the Apache pilots had a free for all gunning down a crowd of men, two children and cameramen.

Prior to this event I got to see places and things that most Christians never get to see.  The unit I was with travelled and went places all over the Mediterranean Sea even making a brief stop in Israel.  These places changed me and this was where my beliefs grew, I became a growing Christian again after having delved head first into the evil of being a worldly warmonger in my younger years.

Jesus said to turn the other cheek, God commanded “Thou Shalt not Kill”, and Proverbs 3:30-32 “Strive not with a man without cause, if he hath done thee no harm. Envy not thou the oppressor, and choose none of his ways…”  These are a few of the references I understand now, that I could not comprehend years ago.

I have learned the value of life, that each person and animal deserves the chance to live.  No person is born racist or willful to indiscriminately harm others.  “The idea that some lives are worth less is the root of all that is wrong in the world.”

Being a Conscientious Objector is not pacifism nor cowardly.  It is being able to understand reality and have a true moral compass away from the indoctrination of glorified slaughter.  You can look to the non-aggression principle for help in understanding oppression and slaughter are wrong.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkIKDKtRQuY

Conscientious Objection does not mean you will stand by and be killed willingly; you do not have to deny yourself the right to defend yourself, loved ones, or any victim.  To kill to protect the lives of innocents who are being oppressed, assaulted, or harmed around you is far different than armies or organizations fighting over greed and resources.

“Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.” Luke 22:36

Conscientious Objection is an advocacy of peace and diplomatic action in place of violence.  To defend one’s self against aggression is well within being a Conscientious Objector and a Christian.

I am a Conscientious Objector, I never want to have to kill anyone, I believe war is unnecessary, and I know war is unnecessary.  I will be one of the few who take the step to tell the world that I will not participate in their wars.

 

Below I will outline the process.

1. Before doing anything, contact a Counselor at the Center on Conscience and War.

  • They will help you to understand your beliefs and mindset by asking you different questions.
  • If you are 100% sure you are and they can see that, they will be more than willing to help.  If you are still on the fence they will help you to figure out where you stand.  Obviously they are a peace advocating organization so don’t expect them to appeal to your warmongering side.
  • Per Marine Corps Order 1306.16F you have to answer a select set of questions in a paper for your Conscientious Objector Application. (Summary of changes since June 2013)
  • They will recommend you complete these questions and help you to understand what the questions are asking before telling your command.
  • A good point to remember is that it is not politically based; it is based on your beliefs and/or morals.  No political arguments, nothing about media, no blasting the Marine Corps for anything they did to piss you off.
  • You will also determine what classification you want; they are 1-0 and 1-A-0.
  • 1-0 is separation because you cannot participate in anything war related. 1-A-0 is to be moved to another job that is not combat oriented. (These are basic descriptions; pages 8 and 9 of MCO 1306.16F have the full descriptions.)

(I worked on my paper for a month with 1 total revision before I had my beliefs organized in a sensible way.)

2. Once your paper is complete you will have to inform your chain of command you are a Conscientious Objector.

  • Be aware that you cannot claim this then go talking about war like it’s cool, participating in training concerning killing and training to kill in scenarios.  Continued participation will lead them to believe you are a liar and add an even more negative stigma to those like me.  DO NOT give in to peer-pressure!  Stand your ground!
  • This is often abused as an easy way out for reservists who are scared to deploy and that keeps a continued negative stigma going against those of us who believe this way.

3. Next they will set you up with an interview with a Chaplain so he can give an opinion of how sincere and deeply held your beliefs/morals appear.

  • Your counselor can prepare you with commonly asked questions.
  • The Chaplain is used because they tend to be one of the few guys who have a moral compass and can try to understand what you have to say.
  • This can happen fairly quickly, I had my interview a week after the initial claim of Conscientious Objector status.

4. You will be appointed an investigating officer (IO) to interview guys from your unit, your chain of command, and any other co-workers.

  • He will ask them about you, your attitude, any observable evidence etc.

5. The next step in the process is a Psych Evaluation.

  • This can be a relatively short interview.  He asks about how you feel, how your personal life is, and a range of other questions to determine if you’re ok mentally.
  • He is primarily looking for PTSD or something that would have a sudden trigger to cause you to want to be a Conscientious Objector.

6. Next you will be interviewed by your investigating officer.  He should be extremely thorough with the order so this process only needs to be completed once, it can be quite confusing and lengthy.

  • You will meet with him and he will ask you pointed questions.
  • You will need to remember that you don’t need to answer any political, hypothetical, or historical based questions.  You are to prove what you believe about war as YOU know it.
  • You will be allowed to bring in witnesses in person or even by phone and letters of support. Also, your counselor can listen by phone or be present.
  • My meeting was very informal.  It was the officer, my counselor on speaker phone, and we wore utilities.

7. After the interview he will type up his findings and submit it up the chain of command, Company CO, Battalion CO, Regimental CO, Division CO, G1, then HQUSMC will receive it, have a board for it, then decide what they think is best given what classification you have requested.

  • They cannot refuse 1-0 and give you 1-A-0 instead and vice versa.
  • The Commandant no longer has the authorization to deny you conscientious objector status, if he thinks you should be denied it is sent to the Secretary of the Navy for final review and determination.
  • As your package passes each CO they may choose to leave a letter of endorsement to say they agree or even disagree with you and what discharge they recommend for you.  It is also up to them to leave comments; if the endorsement letters are negative you should get the chance to write a rebuttal.
  • Discharge is based upon character of service, any NJPs, page 11s, etc.  These packages tend to be Honorable or General under Honorable.  In my case I have zero negative marks against myself and I would assume that guys who think like me have higher moral standards and stay out of trouble.  I received an Honorable classification.
  • When it comes to benefits the VA does not judge based on why you were discharged, they look at the type of discharge you receive.  (Be prepared to be degraded by peers, many people who are ignorant and do not want to understand will be very against you getting an honorable – because you didn’t finish the contract, not because of who you are in your heart, soul, and character.)

8. You must be persistent; you must constantly check in and find out where it is and its location.  Do not be annoying though, it can take two to three weeks at each level of command and you do not want to spotlight yourself for every working party and all menial tasks.

  • Get a copy of everything!  I have a few copies of the package all from different stages from corrections.  Anything that has to do with this application, GET A COPY!
  • DO NOT tell your command unless you are completely confident you have your ducks in a row and are ready to be interviewed.
  • One Conscientious Objector told his command before he had the questions answered and his thoughts sorted out and they had him to the Chaplain within the week unprepared.
  • Be ready for hiccups, something will be done wrong and it will have to have portions redone, it happened multiple times for me.
  • Be ready to be interrogated by higher-ups that see this.  Everyone in the battalion knew me and a few different sergeants and staff sergeants wanted to blindside me with a debate and try to catch me and twist my words (much like Jesus and Pharisees with their money and Caesar)
  • Be ready to be ridiculed by your peers.  You will be outcast and alone unless you have level headed guys that can understand some people believe differently than them.  Also be aware your chain of command may change the terminology they use when preparing for training by really indoctrinating that shooting back would be “self-defense” even though you would be the aggressor.
  • I have found that even combat vets agree with me to a certain extent and multiple combat vets blatantly told me they believe this decade of war in particular was pointless.  One vet even shook my hand and told me to keep at it.
  • While I am not a combat vet I learned from vets like the Iraq Vets against the War.  I take pride knowing that I can learn the lessons others had to learn through them – in other words, I never had to kill anyone to realize how wrong it is.
  • A question to ask is if your package is just for classification as a Conscientious Objector or if it includes the package for separation/job change or if your EAS date is just going to be changed once classification for 1-0 is determined.
  • This process has an average time from submittal to separation under 1-0 of 6 to 9 months

 

On a personal note what you can expect from your family depends on their character and love for you.

  • As a reawakened Christian actually following the teachings of Jesus Christ my mother is extremely proud of whom I have become, a complete 180 from the childish, selfish, immature, worldly warmonger I once was when I signed on.
  • Be prepared for negative opinions of any motivators/”government is god” types in your family and friends.  Many will not understand or even want to understand.
  • A common misconception for Christians is that in Romans it talks about governments are set in place by God.  This verse is often explained that all Christians should have unwavering loyalty.  The governments set in place by God are an enemy to evil and advocates for good.  I do not see a government following those standards in place over the United States or any other country.

 

This portion forward is more centered on my personal outlook.

If you are ok with war and want to go be some war hero but just hate the Marine Corps or military, do not abuse this and fake your way out, you will just be adding to the problem rather than fixing it.  When you are inevitably found out to be lying, your life will be that much worse off and you will help to ruin this for men like me.  If you have found a moral compass that tells you war is wrong and/or you found a religion you truly believe that advocates peace, then by all means go for it.  It’s a long rough path, but be strong.

For anyone who wants to still try to fake it through this consider other options first like the VEERP, early out for education, or just saving up a bunch of leave for terminal.  I don’t know how many types of separations there are because the manual for separations is apparently, from what I’ve heard, well hidden from the eyes of marines. (If you desperately need to see it talk to an IPAC/admin friend.)

This is a documentary on Conscientious Objectors in WW1 in Britain:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e43mHKNXEeA&feature=youtu.be

These are other Conscientious Objectors, American and Israeli:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVPbkE_N9y0  (American)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mk-pX4LIyU  (American)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV_IPeKhShA  (Israel)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBFd3R04w2k (Israel)

A page on facebook that has many horrifying pictures of what war is:

https://www.facebook.com/WARISARACKET

(For any Christians)

When dealing with dark times remember the Valley of the Shadow of Death and fearing no evil and how God led the Israelites out of Egypt, all the obstacles and hard times. If He sees you believe this in your heart, He will guide you on the path that will make you better. Also go to the Book of Daniel and read up on Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego or on Daniel trying to eat the different meal since the king’s food was corrupt.  (The Book of Daniel was what really showed me how I felt.)

You may agree; you may disagree; that is your right.  The Holy Ghost worked me into the decent and better man I am now and I am proud of who I have become.  This is information for anyone who feels they may be a Conscientious Objector and for anyone trying to figure out what Conscientious Objection even is.  It is also a good reference to anyone in a chain of command who may not have any idea what to do.

“To Hell with War”

-Major General Smedley Butler

 

Submitted by “Hooyut”

The Illusion of Training

Recruiters often speak of the awesome training that Marines will receive during their enlistment.  From cooks to admin clerks to LAV mechanics, Marines are said to be the best trained troops America has to offer.  But wait a sec, doesn’t the Corps have an extremely tight budget?  Yes, and that tiny budget casts a ridiculously large shadow across advancement opportunities across the board.  But, but, but aren’t Marines really good at making the best of a bad situation and adapting and overcoming and all that?  Well…yes and no.  Yes, Marines are pretty good at working with a shoestring budget, but the Corps is not.  Much like a college student, Marines can sustain themselves on booze and ramen.  The Corps however, is one hell of an expensive date, and she don’t put out, you do.  But before I start bashing the Marine Corps for its horribly deficient training programs, I must first explain a little about the futility to certain types of training.

There are many ways to try to “harden” a man.  The tried and true methodology for Marines has for many years been “stress these motherfuckers out so much that they literally lose all fucks about their health.”  It has had…limited success.  At MCRD recruits are screamed at, insulted, hazed, and tortured until they lose their individuality and therefore care much less about their own lives.  Many boots are willing to jump on a grenade just to avoid disappointing their Drill Instructors.  Notice I didn’t say, “to save lives.”  The fear of disappointing one’s superiors is equal to or greater than death itself;  if you die, you die a hero, if you disappoint, you are a shitbag for life.  There are much more effective ways of producing warriors, but warriors are not what the Corps wants.  They want robots.  Killing machines.  Your Drill Instructors may even refer to you as such.

Truthfully, there is no proven way to turn a young man into a warrior.  Warriors are born, they are not created.  You can’t infuse backbone into a man if he was raised without one.  Boot camp will not help you grow a pair of big, shiny, golden testicles if you don’t have the starter kit, kiddo.  No amount of training will ever be 100% effective.

The effectiveness of Marine Corps training programs often comes into question, mainly by those participating in said programs.  Effectiveness and readiness are affected negatively from the lack of proper materials regularly.  Budget cutbacks do not help this.  Marines are often forced to train with substitute training materials such as:  Imaginary rifles, imaginary targets, imaginary ammunition, imaginary lives.  Required annual training and qualifications such as rifle and pistol normally get pushed back until the last minute because…well usually its because someone is being a lazy buddy fucker and blocking junior enlisted from being promoted.  Gas mask qual?  Ha, good fucking luck with that if you’re a POG.  Well, at least they always make sure to pick instructors that are really good right?

In a word:  FUCKNO.  Example:  I was a range coach on 29 Palms for two weeks.  Wanna know what my qualifications were?  I had a rifle expert badge.  There was no training, it was “Corporal, you have an expert badge?  Good, you’re the range coach for Gunny Schmuckatelli and whoever the fuck else needs to qual this time.  Good to go?”  That’s like saying, “Hey Devil, you can pass a PFT, right?  Good, administer this SNCO’s required-for-his-career qualification test and if he fails it will totally somehow be your fault.  Good to go?”

Instructors, like every other Marine Corps leader, vary in quality and effectiveness.  There are many excellent instructors throughout the Marine Corps, most of them belonging to MOS schools.  Instructors at the school battalions, from what I have experienced and been told, are generally very motivated (not motarded) and effective.  That being said, there are some real bastards out there as well.  Burn happy Staff await unwitting Privates and Pfc’s around every corner, ecstatic over the prospect of raping another Marine’s career from the get-go.  The Marine Corps policy of “push them through, they’ll fix them in the Fleet” applies here as thickly as it blankets boot camp, unfortunately, resulting in many Marines either not fully grasping the concept of what their job entails and some that couldn’t perform properly at all.  It isn’t all bad, but there are many drawbacks to being under-funded that need to be explored and repaired in order to fix these glaring deficiencies.

–What you should know about the gas chamber specifically–

You might get to hit the gas chamber on time every year in a POG unit, but you must realize that there will be a remedial class that lasts all fucking morning and the freaky NBC guys giving the class will murder you with VX if you ask questions because a) they do this every fucking week (or more often), and b) QUESTIONS MAKE CLASSES LAST LONGER YOU STUPID INCONSIDERATE BUDDY FUCKER!!!  They will answer even the saltiest of Pfc’s questions with a pissed off stare and a repeated statement from the power point through teeth so gritted in anger they may shatter.  You may or may not have to break the seal on that bad boy when you physically hit the chamber and the hazy shit starts happening.  When I was on Okinawa we weren’t required to break the seal, but if you didn’t you were a pussy.  Remember that when you fill out your Final Physical paperwork because they graciously provided a space for you to check because if you broke that seal, congratulations dumbass, you just exposed yourself to CS.  The NBC guys know this, and they will laugh at you as you cough every drop of slime from your nasty little grape.  Also, remember to wash your hands before you touch your no-no.  I swear to fuck, there is ALWAYS one guy that goes off to take a piss and starts screaming about how it feels like his dick is on fire, and not from the HSV this time.–

What you can expect from Marine Corps training in general:

The training the Marine Corps provides can be very useful in your MOS and sometimes in the civilian world, but do not count on any state-of-the-art technological wonders.  The most common tool used by Marine Corps instructors of almost any billet is Power Point.  Your texts at MOS school will likely be photocopies of the power point presentation along with the same file in outline form and a shit load of pages that will be “intentionally left blank” because the government fucking LOVES to waste paper, all bound in a three-ring binder.  What did you expect, a fucking textbook?  Hahahahaha, you haven’t learned anything yet, have you?  Technically, your training materials will tell you everything you need to know about your MOS.  Technically.  Most likely, it will be horribly outdated and include references to technology that doesn’t even exist anymore.  Everything will be broken down in such detail that you may go mad trying to figure out if they are fucking kidding you.  As detailed as your training will be, it will be insufficient, and you will data-dump everything the SECOND you report in to your first permanent duty station.

What you should know about using your training if you were dumb enough to enlist:

Some of it will matter, some of it won’t.  No one will care that you are a rifle expert unless your new job is SWAT sniper.  Ah, I see you’ve received training in stabbing people with a bayonet, sorry but that particular job skill isn’t quite what we’re looking for.  If you go in as an Admin Clerk, leave out the part about your HMMV license unless the job requires you to drive an HMMV.  If you don’t like the job you get when you enlist, you can always to go college when you get out and change fields.  If you do enjoy your job you can always get out and go to school for something that is close to what you did.  For instance, if you were in Motor T and you loved turning a wrench, you can go get your degree in Auto Tech, Diesel, Manufacturing, or something similar.  Bonus:  Technical and vocational career instructors like veterans because we understand the material, take the shit seriously, have useful experience that THEY can learn from, and we’re not eighteen year old douchebags (we’re much more mature douchebags.)  Put that degree in a fat black pot, toss in some experience, throw in a dash of DD214 and you finally may have yourself a future, young one.

Or, you could always do the reasonable thing and GO TO FUCKING COLLEGE LIKE A SMART PERSON!

 

Submitted by “AAVPOG”

The Dog and Pony Show Survival Guide

Dog and Pony Show:  A term used in the US Armed Forces to describe an event, often of arbitrary significance, which caters to the narcissistic needs of superiors.  DnP’s are often disguised as Change of Command ceremonies, Family Fun Days, random events when civilians get access to bases en masse, or anything with “General” in the name.  Vehicles, equipment, gear, weapons, and personnel are often positioned with a great amount of strategery to simultaneously highlight the more positive aspects of military life while downplaying the negative.*

*Note:  You won’t often see civilians tour an occupied USMC barracks due to the lethal cloud of alcohol, smoke, cursing, and hate that surrounds enlisted Marines.

As a United States Marine, you will learn all about the DnP.  In detail (you poor, poor, boot bastard).  The Marine Corps loves a good dog and pony show the way she loves her classes.  The longer, slower, hotter, and mind-numbingly-boring the better.  Officers and lucky civilians get to look at all the pretty devil dogs in their adorable uniforms, standing in those big grid formations of meat and camouflage, their feet creating a low, thunderous rumble with each carefully measured step.  Hell, if they’re lucky enough they’ll get to see those poor, sweaty bastards play with their rifles, salute, or scream some ridiculous chant really loudly in unison (OMG I sooo hope they say that “hooah” thing!!).  After this awesome display of patriotsturbation, they will get the chance to shuffle around (for-goddamned-ever) whilst staring blankly at whatever vehicle or equipment display has been thrown together by the least creative SNCO or officer who got voluntold to make a bunch of ugly piles of shit look presentable.  Nothing like proving to generals and civilians that you do…something…uh, productive?…with all that fat tax money they keep throwing at you.

The DnP starts early, as do most things in the Marine Corps.  For example, let’s say there will be a ceremony on the parade deck at 1000 that will last until 1130 (will actually end around 1220), followed by a guided tour that ends at a glorious display of “guns n’ hummers n’ tanks n’ ‘Merica,” with a grande finale of you and all of your buddies discretely getting face-raped by an NCO (after they’ve been properly face-raped by a SNCO.) after all of the civvies and people with shiny shit take off.  You know by now that if the ceremony starts at 1000, formation should be around 0915-0930ish.  Unfortunately, you forgot how special of an occasion this is.  A FUCKING GENERAL MIGHT BE HERE!  Formation is at 0900 the day before.  You will be told to field day your shop and equipment, company/battalion offices, parking lots, barracks, barracks, and barracks.  You might also field day the barracks.  The most fully-functioning-looking vehicles, gear, and equipment are scrubbed clean, painted (if needed) and cleaned again.  If it is a vehicle, it will probably break down for no reason overnight or seven seconds after you start it up the next morning when it needs to be staged for display (yes, you will have to prepare another vehicle if you can’t tow yours in and pull a Weekend at Bernie’s).  The actual ceremony starts at 1000 and the uniform is cammies (you lucky turd) but you need your rifle, and it must be spotless.  Your first inspection will be…yesterday afternoon for the rifle and last night after field day ended around 2342 for the uniform you wear every single day.  Your first one for today, though, will be at 0730, right after PT and field day inspection.

Check out your rifle from the Armory Clusterfuck yet?  Good, now stand the fuck by, devil nuts, shit is about to get…just…just awful.  By 0900 you will be in formation getting your final ass-chewing/impromptu arbitrary inspection, and so will all the other companies or battalions (depending on the scale of this assrapery).  Whichever dick head NCO that has been instructed to “post” out front while the Staff and Oscars bullshit behind formation will inevitably put everyone at the POA for several minutes at a time to keep you from getting too complacent while standing at parade rest with a rifle in 110 degree Okinawan humidity, then get tired himself and “At Ease” your asses for a few moments.  This process will repeat until about thirty seconds before the Little Old Man decides to kick shit off.  Guys will walk around showing off their big stick covered in their favorite pretty fabric samples, the band will drop some fat patriotic beats, and a few older gentlemen will jerk each other off for a while.  This process, especially the congratsturbating, can take an extremely long time, and you will likely find yourself thinking some of the following thoughts:

“Jesusfuckingchrist it is hot as fuck out here.  God damn it.”
“I should have joined the Air Force.”
“Welp, Jones just passed out.  SILVER BULLET!”
“How fucking long can this shit possibly go on?”
“Are they not sweating their balls off up there, too?”
“I need to piss.  So.  Bad.”
“Beer.”
“Fuck.  My.  Life.  Fuck it so, so hard.”
“That’s two down for Bravo Company.  They must not hydrate over there.”
“What the fuck are they talking about?”
“Oh dear Lord Jesus his fucking wife is giving a goddamned speech now??”
“Sax player just went down, I wonder if they’ll play ‘Another One Bites the Dust?'”
“I should have joined the Air Force.”
“Third row, fifth seat from the left.  I would smash that SO hard.”
“Shit my left hand wasn’t perfectly straight for a moment, I wonder which NCO is going to jump my ass for that…”
“Okay…slowly…gently…oh thank fuck, I thought that drop of sweat was going to tickle my taint forever.”
“Fuck, I’m going to have to buy more socks.  You can’t wash this much sweat out.”
“IS HE STILL FUCKING TALKING?”
“I should have joined the Air Force.”

Eventually, after the Generals decide that enough Marines have succumbed to heat stroke, the faggy pride parade comes to an abrupt and uneventful end with some civilians awkwardly trying to decide whether or not it would be proper form to cheer or just go home and pretend they didn’t just watch a handful of America’s finest young men sustain heat injuries for their amusement.  If you are one of the lucky ones, you will be either sent back to work or released for liberty, if you are extremely lucky.  If you have been chosen to provide assistance to the buttfuckery that is the Dog and Pony Show Working Party Extravaganza, then you about to go for a ride, my friend.

Get ready for the ultimate test in keeping your composure, for you are about to embark on an insane journey of self-discovery that will stretch the limits of your imagination far beyond any line you may think you have crossed.  No, not really.  You are about to be asked a series of very, very stupid questions, though.  Very stupid.  Here are some of the most common, followed by the appropriate/inappropriate response:

Question:  “What is this big thing?  Some kind of tank?”
Appropriate Response:  “This is an AAV.  Marines use these to assault beaches.”
Inappropriate Response:  “This is an AAV.  Marines use these to make grunts pass out and throw up from the huge, toxic exhaust leak that every single one of them has.”

Q:  “Do you like being in the Marines?”
AR:  “I love it.  I get to defend my country while earning college credit and gaining useful experience.”
IR:  –THE TRUTH–

Q:  “I bet you have to be pretty smart to work on these, huh?”
AR:  “The Marine Corps only accepts the best and brightest, sir.”
IR:  “One of my NCO’s lost half his left hand by sticking it in the turbocharger.”

Q:  “I was in during the 60’s/70’s/80’s/90’s, is it still the good old Corps I remember?”
AR:  “Better than ever.  We pride ourselves on our willingness and ability to evolve as a professional institution.”
IR:  “Yep, still racist as fuck-all and infinitely homoerotic despite being shamefully homophobic.  The only big change is we went from physical abuse to mental and emotional abuse.  Much more effective.”

Q:  “How awesome is it that you get to use this stuff like every day?”
AR:  “I won’t lie, one of the best perks of the job is getting to drive this magnificent beast.”
IR”  “I fucking hate this piece of shit.  Its always deadlined, it leaks every fluid imaginable constantly, it stinks like sweaty grunt taints and puke, and I hope you die an extremely painful death.”

Q:  “How do you start this thing?”  (AAV)
AR:  “It can be a bit complicated, would you like to check out the turret?  It has guns…”
IR:  “Flip that big switch that says ‘Master’ then push the button that says ‘Start’ until it…uh, you know.  Starts.”

Q:  “How do you start this thing?”  (HMMV)
AR:  “Gosh, my Sergeant must have the keys…”
IR:  “Ha, check this out.  See that switch?  Turn it.  Boom, you just started it.  Now get the fuck out, I’m hitting the drive thru, biatch!”

Q:  “…”
AR:  (Smiles) “Good afternoon.”
IR:  “…What?  WHAT?  THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN’ AT?  I’LL FUCKING CUT YOU, MAN!  I’LL CUT YOU SO BAD, YOU’LL BE ALL LIKE, ‘MAN I REALLY WISH THAT GUY DIDN’T JUST CUT ME SO BAD!'”

After the civilians, generals, and other assorted riffraff leave, you are basically done with all of this stressful garbage.   Ha, I kid.  It is either dusk by now or full on darkness time, and you need to get that equipment back to its proper place, devil dog.  Also, it will need to be clean.  Duh.  Spend the rest of your Friday cleaning your shit and prepare to get fucked again, because you will probably be put on duty for causing the CO so much embarrassment by allowing your equipment to be in such horrific condition during a DnP.

Now go back to the bricks, hate your life, rinse with alcohol, repeat.

 

Submitted by “AAVPOG”

Broken Down, But Never Built Back Up

I know my grammar might not be great but I’m not really worried about that right now. I spent 8 months in Boot Camp, watched my original platoon graduate without me, and it feels that I haven’t really moved on from boot camp.

I joined in 2006 and the first week of boot camp I don’t remember taking a shit, the first time I ever pissed in my bed while sleeping, and just felt terrorized. I got through the first say 3 weeks and I got sick with pneumonia and didn’t wake up with the rest of the platoon on time. The DI shoved me off the top rack and I hit the floor, went to the hospital, and got dropped and put into MRP. From then on I got sick multiple time with bronchitis and pneumonia back and forth because I was around it all the time. The 3rd month I was called to clean on the other side of the parade deck, and that’s where I got to watch my platoon and the company while cleaning the windows.

Shortly after I was placed in a company just before going Phase 2. I had gotten pneumonia again a couple weeks after being with that company. Dropped again, got better, and joined another. During our physical training I had touched my face and 4 DI’s came over and started screaming in my face, I couldn’t understand what they were saying at all, was being spit in my face by all of them, burning my eyes and dangling from my chin with pain in my inner ear from the volume. I remember after doing a run with our gear on I slipped and fell on the stairs, a DI grabbed me pulled me up to our barracks, and I was forced to drink water from a disgusting canteen over and over again. I couldn’t drink anymore and threw it up all over the place in the middle of the DI highway where I was. I had to clean it up and by that time the day was over, needless to say I had 3 night watches that night. I woke up and started getting dressed and a DI came over and slammed my head into the metal rack. I was punched in the gut I would say 3 or 4 times in my time there, I’m talking full punches with their arm swung back all the way.

Anyways I got through Phase 2 and got dropped again for bronchitis. I just didn’t have any will left, I was depressed and I just felt like I couldn’t got on anymore. Then I got a infected ingrown toenail and before lights out when the DI’s inspect you he saw it and put his heel on my toe and pushed down. He asked if that hurt and I said no with tears coming out of my eyes, I later was taken to the hospital where they put 3 shots in my toe to numb it before taking it out. The guy took some scissors and started cutting down the middle and I screamed with pain cuz I could still feel, after 3 more shots it was removed. I got back with another company and finished phase 3 without my blue’s because something was going on I don’t know I was never told. During the ceremony I never felt better, I never felt like I accomplished anything. I have never said Oorah because I just never wanted to, even when people say it to me nowadays. I regret ever going and I wish it never happened. My toe nail grows with a space in between the nail and it just reminds me of the pain everyday. I’m not saying that I got it worse or better, this is just what happened to me.

After boot camp the hazing never stopped and eventually I did a tour in Iraq. We returned to Iowa, and I never went back, I quit. I was given an Other than Honorable Discharge. I wrote this because someone got in my face yesterday and I just had a breakdown, so I had to get this out somehow. Thanks for reading and excusing my writing skills…

 

Submitted by “Michael Power”

Questions To Ask Your Recruiter

Here on iHateTheUSMC.com we’ve quite often potential recruits come to this site saying something to the effect of “I’m thinking about joining the marines, is it really worth it?”. We’ve also had a few “motivated” marines come here saying “If you want to hear what the marine corps is really like, don’t come to a site called “iHateTheUSMC”! Go get a balanced opinion!” While I think our site does a pretty good job of being balanced and truthful, I agree that you shouldn’t have to just take our word for it.

To that end, I’ve compiled this list of questions that any potential recruit for any branch of the military should ask their recruiter before joining. I’ve organized the questions by category; however, be advised that there are some questions that overlap and could fit into multiple categories. Also, with many of the questions (especially #4) the actual answer your recruiter gives you is less important than the way your recruiter behaves while answering. If he’s visibly struggling to answer some questions (i.e. #13 and it’s Follow-up Questions) the odds are pretty good that he knows that the corps messed up, so he was going to paint a one-sided picture and get you to enlist based on propaganda instead of fact. The moral of the story, pay close attention both to what your recruiter says, and how he says it.

That  being said, here’s a list of some questions you can ask your recruiter (from any branch) to help you make your decision:

Questions About The Quality of People In The Marine Corps:

1. “There are two predominant images of marines in popular culture: They’re either swashbuckling womanizers that drink a lot or they are disciplined and elite shock troops that hone their craft of war-fighting all the time. They can’t be both of these, so which is it?”
2. “I’ve heard  that more marines die each year from vehicle accidents than from gunfire. Why is that?”
3. “Is it true that most people join the marine corps for patriotic service, but remain in for financial security?”
4. “Are female marines girlfriend/wife material?”
[Note: This is one the cases where the literal answer to your question doesn’t matter. The point of this question is to see if your recruiter turns into a sexist POS when asked about female marines. If so, I think you’ve learned all you need to know about the type of people in the marine corps.]
5. “Why is the divorce rate in the marine corps so much higher than that of other branches?”
6. “What is a motard?”
7. “Is it true that marines don’t steal? Then why are marines required to keep their doors locked, and the wall lockers inside their rooms padlocked? Who are they trying to keep out if it’s not other marines?”
8. “When I get out of boot camp, how many times a day will I hear my superiors complaining about the good old days in the “Old Corps” when they didn’t need to try to be a good leader because they could just beat the shit out of anyone who didn’t perform to their standards?”
9. “Is it true that it’s harder to be kicked out of boot camp than it is to graduate?”
Follow-up Questions: “Is it true that you have three chances to pass any boot camp graduation requirement before you’ll even be dropped back a week in training?” “Is it true that – if you injure yourself – you can be kept in a medical rehabilitation platoon (MRP) for a year until you recover enough to be put back into training?” “Is it true that you don’t actually have to complete any of the obstacles in the Crucible in order to graduate? Is it really the case that, if you don’t get severely injured, you’ll automatically pass?” “Is it true that your D.I.’s will do anything in their power to prevent you from being kicked out, even if you clearly don’t want to be there, clearly aren’t a good fit for the marine corps, and are consistently failing graduation requirements?” “What does it say about the quality of people in the marine corps, that many marines are being forced to continue even though they lost interest back in boot camp? Is that really a recipe for an elite force? Or is it more a recipe for a mediocre force of people who are trying to make the best of it, but would rather be anywhere else than in the marine corps?”

Questions About Life In The Marine Corps:

10. “How will I be treated as a new-join after boot camp? I’ll be treated with dignity and respect right? The normal rules of decency and adult behavior will still apply, right? I ask this because I’d like to be sure that I’ll be treated like a first-class citizen.”
11. “Once I get to the fleet it’s a normal 8-4 job right? I won’t ever have to work weekends, right? I won’t ever have to wake up at 5:00 in the morning just to go running would I? How often would I have to  wake up early and/or work on a weekend?”
12. “I understand that as the new guy I’ll usually be tasked to some of the less glamorous jobs in the corps, but they’ll at least be meaningful jobs right? I won’t be called up to the Battalion office because the Sgt Maj is too lazy to take out his own trash right?”
13. “What is a Weekend Safety Brief?”
Follow-up Questions: “Will I really be expected to stand there every Friday afternoon as my Commanding Officer tells me ‘wear you seatbelt, don’t drink and drive, don’t rape people… etc’?” “Will I really be expected to fill out an ‘ORM worksheet’ where I tell my command what  I plan to do this weekend, what the potential hazards are, and how I plan to mitigate those risks?” “Will I really have to have a superior inspect my car every Friday before I’m allowed to leave?” “Will some units actually expect me to sign a piece of paper stating that I won’t kill myself over the weekend before I’m allowed to be released from work?” “Why is it necessary to have such a paperwork circus performed every Friday afternoon? Is it that marines are conditioned to forgo their common sense to such an extent that they need to be reminded on a regular basis not to do anything stupid over the weekend?”
14. “What is a Safety Stand Down? Will I really have to sit through a PowerPoint presentation every year where my superiors explain that raping people is bad?”
15. “I’ve heard that they will take the money for meals at the Mess Hall directly out of my paycheck each month. So I am assuming that I’ll be guaranteed the opportunity to go eat those meals, since I already paid for them, right?”
16. “I like to put my hands in my pockets from time to time. Will that be a problem in the Marine Corps? What if I’m just standing there, not walking around?”
17. “If I get sick overnight and ask my supervisor to go to medical the next morning, is he going to ridicule me merely because I require medical attention?”
18. “If I wanted to bring a guest to visit me in the barracks, will there be restrictions? Am I allowed to bring people of the opposite sex into my room?”
19. “Will I get my own room in the barracks? How many roommates might I have? Roughly how big are the rooms? A rough estimate is fine.”
20. “I understand that the marine corps has a strict underage drinking policy, but once I’m 21, is the amount of alcohol I keep in my room going to be limited or restricted in any way?”
21. “I understand that I will be held accountable for my inevitable mistakes, and I agree with that, but is everyone around me going to be held accountable for my inevitable mistakes as well? Conversely, will I be held accountable for mistakes that others make, even though I couldn’t possibly have prevented them?”

Questions About The Marine Corps As An Institution:

22. “Aside from boot camp and the cool uniforms, why is the Marine Corps better than the other branches? Be specific. I stopped playing with my GI Joes over 10 years ago have no desire to fulfill any boyhood fantasies or play soldier. Are they smarter? Is their technology better? Is there greater retainment on account of more variety in their career options? What is it, EXACTLY?”
23. “How is “Hazing” defined by the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice)? Will my supervisors in the fleet find ways to bend the rules prohibiting hazing?”
24. “I’ve heard that it’s illegal for marines to take reprisals against a marine for Requesting Mast (reporting problems to the Commanding Officer and asking that they be fixed). Is that enforced, or will my superiors use intimidation and the threat of retaliation to prevent me from (or punish me for) reporting wrongdoings to my Commanding Officer?”
25. “Since the marine corps is a military institution, am I correct in assuming that all necessary deployment-related gear will be issued to me free of cost? I won’t be required to purchase a bunch of gear like ear-plugs, parachute chord, a rape whistle, an assortment of batteries, or a giant safety pin, right? If I need it, it’ll be given to me and that’s it, right?”
26. “What is the quality of healthcare provided by the USMC? Is it true that a Navy Corpsman’s (medic’s) job doesn’t translate to any civilian medical career?”
27. “Do we get hazard pay for working around hazardous material?”
28. “Drilling and marching formations were a crucial component of the Revolutionary and Napoleonic wars, but now they’re completely obsolete. When I get to the fleet, am I going to hear some SNCO screaming at the top of his lungs about cover and alignment in a PT formation?”
29. “Reveille, Taps, and Mess Call used to be very important in signaling that it is time to wake up, time to eat, and time for lights out respectively; but in this age of alarm clocks and wristwatches, they’re also completely obsolete. When I get to the fleet will I really have to hear Reveille and Taps play every single day at 5:30 am and 10:00 pm respectively, and Mess Call played every single day at 6:00 am, 11:00 am, and 5:00 pm to the point where hearing those bugle calls becomes absolutely ear-shattering?”

Questions About Promotion:

30. “I’ve heard that Proficiency and Conduct Markings play a large role in being promoted to the ranks of Corporal and Sergeant. How familiar are SNCO’s and Officers with the guidelines for assigning these markings? Are the guidelines rigidly adhered to, or is the system that determines pro/con marks more based on whether I suck up to my superiors?”
31. “I’ve heard that my Rifle score and Physical/Combat Fitness scores also play a pretty big role in being promoted to Corporal and Sergeant. Does the marine corps have a system in place to make sure that they’re putting bright, intelligent, leaders into high ranking positions, or can any idiot become a Sgt Maj as long as he can do enough pull-ups?”
32. “I’ve heard that you have to take several Marine Corps Institute (MCI) courses (such as Leading Marines, Warfighting Tactics, Basic Grammar, etc) with proctored exams, prior to being promoted to Corporal and Sergeant  to try to prevent complete idiots from becoming NCOs. Is it true that everyone cheats on the tests by taking them in their rooms, with the book in front of them? Is it true that you couldn’t  even get a proctor if you asked your unit for one, because the unit is so used to turning a blind eye to cheating that they don’t even have an MCI proctor?”
33. “The promotion system is exactly the same for every Marine, right? How does the promotion system change?”

Questions About Your Superiors:

34. “Since the marine corps puts so much emphasis on leadership, am I correct in assuming that senior marines are very capable, competent, and efficient leaders who are able to easily adapt to any situation?”
Follow-up Questions: “My superiors wouldn’t prevent me from wearing cold weather gear during winter on the grounds that it was colder in winters of the Korean war right?” “My superiors wouldn’t order me to move entire pallets of gear by hand when there are a dozen forklifts sitting right in the heavy equipment lot on the grounds that ‘We didn’t use forklifts to move gear when I was a PFC!’ right?” “Since leaders in marine corps are so efficient, I won’t usually be sitting there with nothing to do all morning, and then have so much work levied on me in the afternoon that I will be stuck at work well into the evening, right?”
35. “Since I’m always being told how I’ll be serving my country, and protecting freedom, I should go to bed each night with a sense that I’ve really accomplished something right? I won’t feel like my biggest transferable job skill is adeptness at being a janitor, right? I won’t have days – or in fact whole weeks – where I don’t accomplish anything except mindless busy work, right?
36. “Since I’m younger, and less experienced, my seniors will handle most of the more hazardous jobs initially, right? I can be certain that I won’t be placed in harm’s way, such as the pointman of a fireteam as soon as I enter the fleet, right? They’ll at least make sure that I’ve had the chance to learn by observing more experienced marines first, right?”

Questions About Cleaning:

37. “How long does Field Day (weekly barracks cleaning) usually last in the fleet? 1 hour? 3 hours? 6+ hours?
Follow-up Question: “What’s the longest you’ve ever spent cleaning?”
38. “Will I really have NCO’s telling me that cleaning my window sill with a Q-tip will make me better prepared for combat?”
39. “Can I really be denied my weekend if someone decides that my room isn’t clean enough for their standards (fails inspection)?”
Follow-up Questions: “Can my room really fail inspection if I have water in my sink? If there’s water in my shower? If there’s trash in my trash can? If the edges of my rug aren’t duct taped to the floor?
40. “I don’t smoke. Since the marine corps is all about being responsible for yourself, I won’t be ordered to walk around the barracks and pick up all of the smokers’ cigarette butts right?”
41. “A marine on Barracks Duty won’t wake me up on a Saturday morning to pick up cigarette butts, or mop the floor, right?”
42. “How long does cleaning the shop take at the end of the day? Just an estimate will be fine. A half of an hour, maybe? Or are we talking about 4 or 5 hours of cleaning and re-cleaning the same spot over and over again until the 1st Sgt releases us to barely make it to the Mess Hall in time for dinner? That’s a direct question, and I’m asking you to give me a straight answer because I don’t like wasting my time.”

Questions About Your Recruiter’s Experience:

43. “Are you a happy individual?”
44. “Would you please describe your worst day in the Corps? You can’t possibly be this optimistic all the time. It makes me think you’re not being completely honest.”
45. “Do you have a quota of marines you need to enlist? How many people do you have to enlist? What happens if you don’t make your quota?”

Bonus Questions Just To Troll Your Recruiter:

46.”So . . . when did you slay your first dragon? Do you get another dragon every time you get promoted or is that a one-time deal?”
47. “On some days, when you wake up, are you ever reminded of your slave status by seeing that ridiculous haircut in the mirror?”
48. “Why do I get the feeling that you’re completely full of shit and that if I’m not careful I could make a serious error by believing you?”
49. “Why is it that most times when I see a Marine, he’s very excited about something but has no idea what’s going on or why he’s there? He reminds me of a puppy – a very excited but clueless puppy. Am I going to be trained to behave that way?”

Bonus Question – The Integrity Test:

50. Sit down to the table with your recruiter, take out a voice recorder, set it on the table in plain view, and turn it on.  Ask your recruiter any questions you like (They don’t have to be from this list, they can be any questions you want). At the end of your interview, turn to your recruiter and say “Since the marine corps is all about honor and integrity, my last question is as follows: If I join the marine corps based on what you tell me here today, and it turns out that you’ve lied to me, and the marine corps doesn’t live up to its reputation, can I be separated in 72 hours, and will you put this in writing?” As far as the marine corps is concerned, if you don’t get it in writing, it didn’t happen. So if your recruiter won’t get it put in writing, the he has no reason to be honest with you.

Think about it, if there are absolutely no repercussions if either the recruiter or the marine corps, lie to you, or fail to live up to its image, then what incentive does the recruiter have to be honest? If he won’t put it in writing then why would you think he was being honest? If the marine corps doesn’t allow such repercussions for failing to live up to its image, what is there preventing it from abusing you and deliberately putting you in unnecessary danger?

If you ask your recruiter some or all of the questions listed here, you will likely go in to the marine corps (or stay out of the marine corps) having a much better knowledge of what will be waiting for you in the fleet.  There will probably always be marines offering their experience on iHateTheUSMC.com, but as I said above, don’t take our word for it, go ask your recruiter.

Safety and Peace

Okinawa Prison (Part 2)

Now let me get a little deep here of how bad it sucked in Okinawa. See, joining the military sucks pretty bad. Joining the Marine Corps sucks that much more. Being a Marine in Okinawa is downright painful. Now the Group I was with was even that much worse as the Brigadier General was a mustang that served in Vietnam. The Battalion I was with was even worse than the other Battalion’s that where in it as the Colonel (we called him Col. Maximus) was known for burning Marines to the stake with not 45 days restriction, but 60 day restrictions, reduction in rank and the max amount of money taken from you (1200 as a PFC). The Company I was with was downright atrocious as it was known as the Company that was always fucking up and getting in trouble (underage drinking, jumping the fence after midnight curfew, larceny etc).

There were a lot of Marines before me that pretty much fucked it up for the future Marines. They fucked shit up and then left after their 1 year tour came to an end. They would leave and dodge the bullet. I came in right in the wake of things. I came in when all the higher ups were like “fuck you all, now we are going to get serious” it was another one of these “punish you for what the ones before you did” kind of thing. I came to Oki when the tours of service were raised to two years for single Marines, three years for married Marines. Now let me paint a picture.

A while back, there were these group of jar heads that raped an Okinawa teenage girl in the 90’s (y’all pretty much heard of it) and the future retards would get punished as a result (another one of those being punished for others kind of thing). Let me read the list of what Marines couldn’t do in Okinawa. Let’s see, Marines couldn’t leave base by themselves, they needed a libo buddy. All the other branches could happily leave base and come back by themselves, but us Marines had to have a damn libbo buddy (makes it that much harder to get laid out in town). Us Marines had a libo card system, red meant that you had to be back by midnight or you risked getting NJP’d. Yellow meant that you could go off base by yourself. But, the only way you could get it was if you were and NCO and ran above a 285 PFT (figures, make it harder for dumbasses) and even then some NCO’s were not permitted to have a yellow libo card cause some dumb fuck came in late a couple of nights ago (again getting punished for others). Other branches, regardless of rank could drive a vehicle on base. Now you could imagine how us retards felt when we would see E-2 Sailors, Soldiers, and Airmen driving their cool Japanese cars bumping their music and us dumbasses had to march in formation like recruits and the only music that was bumping for us was the Sgt’s cadence.

Now, I know it sucked being a Marine, but what really pissed me off was how all the other branches could drink at twenty years of age and buy as many cases of beer they wanted. Us idiots were not allowed to drink until age 21. And those that were 21 could only buy a six pack for the whole day if you were E-3 and below. This really bothered me because I felt discriminated (kind of like Jews in Europe when the Germans were taking over). And no I don’t buy the “were Marines and were held to a higher standard” bullshit because that was downright stupid and I knew it was a way to micro manage Marines into not drinking. I did not get this, I would ask myself “don’t we serve the same country? Don’t we serve the same Department of Defense? Aren’t we all in this together? Doesn’t the USMC need the Navy as much as the Navy works with the Army as much as we all use the AirForce’s airplanes?” I felt very offended at this. For the first time I felt discriminated for the uniform I wore. I soon started to see my digital cammies as an orange prison jump suit. Marines that would get questioned off base by the Shore Patrol (higher up Marines in civvies out to burn Marines in town) would lie about being in the Army, Navy or AirForce out of survival’s sake, and they would still get burned and put on blast that they claimed another branch. This is when I really hated the USMC. I felt that I was being punished for no fucking reason at all, I really did not commit a crime but it was kind of like being the son of a slave in ancient Rome and automatically becoming a slave. I did not understand this.

So to make a long story short, I was in the darkest of the darkest of the darkest units that could possibly exist in the USMC. I was worse off than the guys in the Brig because all they did was eat, sleep, watch tv. We did not even get to enjoy those luxuries. We were constantly getting hazed and fucked with. Not to mention the Sgt. I mentioned before would love to spread bad news to us, he would always belittle us and remind us on a daily basis how shitty we had it. He would always stand in front of us and say “you motherfuckers are not going anywhere this weekend, you motherfuckers will not drink this weekend, you mother fuckers will not ride honchos (Japanese taxis) for this week, and guess what, when you motherfuckers get back to the barracks, we are going to have a Charlie, fuck that, and Alpha formation tonight at 2200 after fielday (we fieldayed every day).” I seriously started to hate the USMC because I felt that I was being discriminated for no fucking reason at all. I would sometimes sit on my rack at night and punch the shit out of the wall with tears coming down my face (not being a pussy but I felt like I was being raped and treated unfairly for no fucking reason). This really hit home for me, I was very angry at the decisions I made and I soon started to seriously hate the USMC. I have been in jail before but guess what, it was not even a fraction as shitty as the unit I was with as I had better chow and got to sleep my eight hours and I was not constantly getting fucked with. The excuse that the higher ups would say that the reason for our mistreatment was shit like “we’re the best, we’re held to a higher standard, Chesty Puller believed in hardship, hardship makes better Marines, Semper Fi do or die, we have been doing this for 232 years etc.) this really ticked me off as I felt as the higher ups were doing a mockery of our bullshit existence. It really hit me, when we were voluntold to fill sand bags and make fighting holes for a mock exercise for a Company that we were not even associated with. Our CO got along with the other CO and said “fuck it, make my Marines do it” it really started to dawn on me when I was out in the 100+ degree weather with 95% humidity at 1200 out in the hot ass sun that it was going to be a long two years of my life. I could remember filling those sand bags that were 55lbs each and carrying two of them atop of both my shoulders and carrying it up hill for 200+ yards and looking at the sky and seeing a jet fly in the horizon. It was a jet that was from Kadena Air Force base and it was doing an exercise. I could so vividly remember that I would do anything, ANYTHING to be that motherfucker as he was an Airman and atop of that he was an officer. That is like having a double win win situation. I remember thinking “you lucky, lucky motherfucker!”

Stay tuned for part 3 of my Okinawa Prison experience. This is the tip of the ice berg.

Submitted by “free_bird”

Okinawa Prison (Part 1)

I got a story for you all. When I was unhappily locked up in Okinawa, Camp Kinser (sausage fest) I felt the oppression, depression, and imprisonment unlike most Marines in the USMC. I’m talking about we had to march to the chow hall, march to work etc. If we had to go to the PX the Sgt. would literally make us walk in fire teams, like the grunts do in echelons, with the “supposed” rifle man, fire team leader and machine gunner. We would look stupid going to get haircuts, etc. in fire team formations.

We would then form it up to form it up right out side barracks 1224 for 45+ minutes with the fat drop (Forrest Gump) style kind of rain. The Sgt. would then make us get in a straight line and police call the football field. We were ordered to pick up all the white daisy flowers. But it was not your average police call, we had to stand at attention, forward march one step, stop, bend over, and pick up a white daisy. We went from goal post to goal post for, let’s say, 600 yards back and forth. We were then ordered to field day our rooms. The Chinese way. Note that we lived on the fourth deck and had to carry all of our shit out to the parking lot. The Sgt. (with a beer in his hand and his Japanese girlfriend waiting in his room) would order us to skuz brush the deck like recruits do in bootcamp. We would do this for, let’s see, till 0330 or something. It did not matter how clean we made our rooms because the Sgt. would just “find” dirt somewhere and tell us to clean. This Sgt. would make sure he PT’d us for a very long time, so that when we came back to our barracks, showered, shit, shaved we barely had enough time for chow and if we were a minute late, the Sgt. would be waiting with a charge sheet.

At work, we would be ordered to move shit to one corner, then another corner, then another corner etc. On the way back to the barracks we would always be ordered to type a 1000 word essay on stuff like “why I love the USMC, why was Chesty Puller great, what does it mean to have Espirit de Corps etc.” and would be ordered to take it to the Sgt’s room at 0000 sharp. Mind we had to get up at 0430, to form it up at 0445, so the Sgt. can take us on a run at 0545, come back and be at work by 0730 sharp or else. We would constantly get harrassed with this beer holding Sgt., mind that we were not allowed to drink at all but the Sgt. would chug his beers in front of us while we were getting our asses chewed in the common lounge. The Sgt. would later order us to have our rooms uniformed, even though he had a couch, big screen tv, two racks put together to make a kind size bed, but we had to be “uniform” because that is what Marines do.

This is when it hit me. This is when I realized that this Sgt. did not fuck with us cause we fucked up, he fucked with us because he was cynical and the higher ups did not give a damn at all. This is when I realized that I made a big mistake coming to Okinawa prison. I soon hated putting on the uniform. I soon hated the Eagle Globe and Anchor because I thought that it was full of cannibals that enjoyed hurting their own. That is when me and a couple of other Marines became “shit bags” but in reality we just stopped caring about “Espirit de Corps.” This unit was so bad that Marines in Iraq would porpusefully extend so that they wouldn’t have to deal with garrison bull shit. This is the tip of the ice berg and I will soon write part 2 of my Okinawa experience.

Submitted by: “free_bird”

How to Prepare for the Marines

Filthy Little Hobbitses

Do you want to simulate your enlistment? Here’s what you have to do:

Go find yourself an incredibly insane hobo, the crazier the better. Pay this hobo with a bottle or two of some hard liquor, and have him chug both bottles before you begin. Now, have him scream unintelligible nonsense at the top of his lungs a few inches from your face, while you stand perfectly still. While standing still, scream “aye” at the top of your lungs, again and again and again and again, really, you can’t scream that word enough.

After this has gone on for a few hours, jump into the dumpster that hobo was living in and start scrubbing it “clean” with a toothbrush. Remember, that hobo should still be shouting in your face as you’re doing this, and you should still be screaming “aye” as quickly and as loudly as you can. Don’t be alarmed if that hobo starts screaming about how fat, lazy, stupid, or weak you are. We all know that he’s a tired old alcoholic with no future prospects and a past he
regrets, that just makes it that much more like the Marine Corps.

This should go on for a few days.

After the hobo kicks you out of his dumpster, calling you a bitch faggot as he does so, you should both take a breather by eating whatever food you can scrounge out of the discarded cans in the dumpster. Be sure to be very appreciative towards the hobo for giving you this time to eat. He’s such a nice guy after all, he only wants what’s best for you. Why do you make him yell at you like he does? You’re such a lowdown scumbag.

Once you’ve had a few minutes to eat what you could, it’s time to train. Goody! That stuff that you saw in MW3 will soon be happening to you! I’ll bet you can’t wait to win the medal of honor and make your parents proud. So, go grab yourself about one hundred pounds worth of trash bags, and sling them over your back. Then, run about ten steps down the alley, dive to the ground and slam your knees as hard as you can into the pavement. Get into the prone, and then get back up and do it again. Do this for a few hours, while the hobo follows you with a trash bag full of pillows on this back and he calls you a weak bitch for being slower than him. He’s such a hard ass that hobo.

After this has all been done, dump out all the trash out of your trash bags, and start organizing that shit! Everything must be in its proper place. The banana peels must not touch the pizza boxes, the diapers must be neatly folded into five by five inch squares, and the toothbrush that you used to scrub out that dumpster had better not be used! After you’ve spent a few hours making it perfect, have the hobo come over and tell you to move everything over to the next alley. He should also be yelling at you to hurry up as you do this.

Eventually, everything is ready, and your hobo can now inspect your trash. Stand rigidly in pride by your neatly arranged trash, it’s a reflection of you after all! The hobo should then glance at the pile of trash, and demand to know why you’re so dirty. Respectfully tell him that respectfully, you were respectfully running around an alley with a respectful amount of trash on your respectful back. The hobo should then point out that HE was running with you, and He’s not so dirty. Then respectfully point out that the mr. gracious hobo sir had not gone directly from that to organizing a pile of trash. This will set off the hobo like you just slapped his sister in the face with your dick and didn’t call her back.

The hobo will then yell something about “enjay pees” and “sixtyone oh fives” for a little bit, and you should feel ashamed for how blatantly disrespectful your comment had been.

Hell, if you want hardship that badly, just keep doing this for about four years. Remember, you can’t defend yourself from that hobo, nor can you quit till those years are up, or you’ll have committed a felony. Don’t worry though, you can tell all your friends that you’re living the hard life, what do they know about hardship? And the hobo will let you wear his old denim suit when you go visit your family once a year or so, you’ll turn all the she-bums heads as you strut through the ghetto. Stick with it for twenty years or so and you too can be just like that hobo, and you too can treat some kid like shit for booze.

Submitted by: “freeatlastfreeatlast”

FY15 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM

Date Signed: 12/17/2013

MARADMINS Active Number: 662/13

R 171750Z DEC 13
UNCLASSIFIED/
MARADMIN 662/13
MSGID/GENADMIN/CMC WASHINGTON DC MRA MP//
SUBJ/FY15 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM//
REF/A/MSGID:DOC/SECNAV/YMD:20120323/NOTAL//
REF/B/MSGID: MSG/CMC/011839ZJUL13//
REF/C/MSGID:MSG 2006/CMC/-//
REF/D/MSGID:DOC/CMC/YMD:20040824//
REF/E/MSGID:DOC/CMC/YMD:20070606//
REF/F/MSGID:DOC/N-13/YMD:20051220//
REF/G/MSGID:DOC/DFAS-KC-FSP/YMD:19950824//
REF/H/MSGID:MSG/CMC/292102ZJUN2009//
REF/I/MSGID:MSG/CMC/152049ZJUL2009//
REF/J/MSGID:WEB/VA/YMD:20101109//
NARR/REF (A) IS SECNAV APPROVAL OF VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM (VEERP) DATED 23 MAR 2012. REF (B) IS MARADMIN 325/13, FY14 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM (VEERP). REF (C) IS PERSONNEL ADMIN ADVISORY (PAA)06-06. REF (D) IS ONLINE MCTFSPRIUM. REF (E) IS MCO P1900.16, MARINE CORPS SEPARATION AND RETIREMENT MANUAL. REF (F) IS OPNAVINST 1900.4, SEPARATION PAY FOR INVOLUNTARY SEPARATION FROM ACTIVE DUTY WITH CHANGE ONE. REF (G) IS DFAS 7220.31R, MCTFS APSM. REF (H) IS MARADMIN 0389/09, POST 9-11 GI BILL ELIGIBILITY AND BENEFITS. REF (I) IS MARADMIN 0421/09, POST 9-11 GI BILL TRANSFERABILITY OF EDUCATIONAL BENEFITS ADMINISTRATION AND MANAGEMENT, ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES. REF (J) IS THE MONTGOMERY GI BILL WEBSITE WWW.GIBILL.VA.GOV.//
POC/L. REYES/MAJ/UNIT:CMC MMIB-1/-/TEL:DSN 278-9222//
POC/G.W.CALLAHAN/CAPT/UNIT:CMC MPP-20/-/TEL:DSN 278-9361//
GENTEXT/REMARKS/1. PURPOSE. THE FY15 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM (VEERP) IS A COST SAVINGS INITIATIVE THAT WILL PERMIT SHAPING AND SUSTAINING THE FORCE WITHIN THE CONSTRAINTS OF THE APPROVED BUDGET. THE PROGRAM REMAINS FOCUSED ON COST SAVINGS FOR THE MARINE CORPS AND IS NOT AN INDIVIDUAL ENTITLEMENT PROGRAM. THIS MESSAGE SERVES TO ESTABLISH THE AUTHORITY, ELIGIBILITY, AND PROCEDURES FOR THE VOLUNTARY EARLY RELEASE OF ACTIVE DUTY ENLISTED MARINES WHOSE TERM OF SERVICE WILL EXPIRE DURING FY15 (1 OCTOBER 2014-30 SEPTEMBER 2015).
2. BACKGROUND. REFERENCE (A) PROVIDES THE AUTHORITY FROM THE SECRETARY OF THE NAVY TO ESTABLISH A VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM. THE FY15 VEERP WILL COMMENCE UPON THE PUBLICATION OF THIS MARADMIN AND WILL RUN CONCURRENTLY WITH REF (B) FY14 VEERP. MARINES APPROVED FOR THIS PROGRAM MAY SEPARATE NO GREATER THAN 365 DAYS PRIOR TO THEIR CURRENT EXPIRATION OF ACTIVE SERVICE (EAS). MARINES APPROVED FOR THE FY15 VEERP WILL BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE COMPLETED THEIR FULL ACTIVE SERVICE. THIS MARADMIN DOES NOT EXEMPT MARINES FROM COMPLETING RESERVE OR READY RESERVE OBLIGATIONS PER THEIR INDIVIDUAL SERVICE ENLISTMENT CONTRACTS.
3. ELIGIBILITY
A. ANY ACTIVE DUTY ENLISTED MARINE WITH A FY15 EAS (1 OCTOBER 2014 TO 30 SEPTEMBER 2015).
B. MARINES MAY REQUEST TO SEPARATE NO GREATER THAN 365 DAYS PRIOR TO THEIR CURRENT EAS.  FY-15 VEERP AUTHORIZES MARINES TO SEPARATE CROSS FY (I.E. FY15 EAS ADJUSTED TO FY14).
C. MARINES REQUESTING TO SEPARATE GREATER THAN 180 DAYS EARLY MUST HAVE AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THE FIRST GENERAL OFFICER IN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND. THE FOLLOWING EXAMPLES ILLUSTRATE DIFFERENT HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS:
C1. A MARINE WITH AN EXISTING EAS OF 01 AUGUST 2015 REQUESTS TO DEPART THE MARINE CORPS ON 01 SEPTEMBER 2014. AS THE REQUESTED EAS DATE IS GREATER THAN 180 DAYS FROM THE ORIGINAL EAS DATE, THIS REQUEST MUST HAVE AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THE FIRST GENERAL OFFICER IN THE CHAIN OF COMMAND.
C2.  A MARINE WITH AN EXISTING EAS OF 31 MARCH 2015 REQUESTS TO DEPART THE MARINE CORPS ON 15 SEPTEMBER 2014. AS THE REQUESTED EAS DATE IS LESS THAN 180 DAYS FROM THE ORIGINAL EAS DATE, THIS REQUEST CAN BE FORWARDED WITHOUT A GENERAL OFFICER ENDORSEMENT.
D. MARINES MUST NOT BE STABILIZED FOR DEPLOYMENT AT THE TIME OF REQUESTED EARLY RELEASE (NEW EAS). ADDITIONALLY, MARINES NOT STABILIZED BUT POSSESSING OBLIGATED SERVICE TO MEET FUTURE DEPLOYMENT DEMAND WILL BE CONSIDERED ON A CASE-BY-CASE BASIS.
E. MARINES ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND MANDATED PRE-SEPARATION COUNSELING PER TITLE 10 USC 1142. MARINES MUST BE TAP/TAMP COMPLETE AND MEDICALLY QUALIFIED PRIOR TO EARLY RELEASE.
F. MARINES MUST BE ELIGIBLE FOR AN HONORABLE OR GENERAL (UNDER HONORABLE CONDITIONS) DISCHARGE CHARACTERIZATION AT TIME OF EARLY RELEASE.
G. INDIVIDUAL REQUESTS LESS THAN 180 DAYS MUST BE SUBMITTED VIA THE ADCON ENDORSING CHAIN OF COMMAND  (BATTALION/SQUADRON).  REQUESTS GREATER THAN 180 DAYS MUST BE SUBMITTED VIA THE ENDORSING CHAIN OF COMMAND TO INCLUDE GENERAL OFFICER ENDORSEMENT TO BE CONSIDERED ELIGIBLE.
H. MARINES CURRENTLY SERVING AS PERMANENT RESIDENT ALIENS, IN ANTICIPATION OF GAINING UNITED STATES CITIZENSHIP, MUST HAVE SERVED A MINIMUM OF THREE YEARS ACTIVE SERVICE AT THE TIME OF EARLY RELEASE.
I. MARINES WHO HAVE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING PRIMARY MOS’S ARE INELIGIBLE FOR AN EARLY RELEASE GREATER THAN 180 DAYS FROM THEIR ORIGINAL EAS: 0211, 0321, 0372, 0689, 2336, 6314, 7257 OR 7314.
4. INELIGIBILITY. MARINES MEETING ANY OF THE FOLLOWING CONDITIONS ARE INELIGIBLE TO PARTICIPATE IN THE FY15 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM:
A. MARINES WHO DO NOT HAVE A  FY15 EAS (1 OCTOBER 14-30 SEPTEMBER 15)
B. MARINES SCHEDULED FOR TRANSFER TO THE FMCR OR RETIRED LIST.
C. MARINES WHO ARE INDEBTED TO THE GOVERNMENT (TO INCLUDE ADVANCE AND EXCESS LEAVE). INDEBTED MARINES DESIRING EARLY SEPARATION CAN MAKE ACCELERATED REPAYMENT OF THEIR DEBTS BY INCREASING SCHEDULED INSTALLMENT AMOUNTS AND BY MAKING CASH COLLECTIONS TO REPAY THEIR INDEBTEDNESS. INDEBTEDNESS MUST BE ENTIRELY RESOLVED PRIOR TO EARLY RELEASE.
D. MARINES BEING RELEASED UNDER OTHER HQMC DIRECTED EARLY OUT PROGRAMS, E.G., EARLY RELEASE FOR EDUCATION, TEMPORARY EARLY RETIREMENT AUTHORITY, VOLUNTARY SEPARATION PAY PROGRAM.
E. MARINES PARTICIPATING IN THE NATIONAL CALL TO SERVICE PROGRAM.
F. MARINES CURRENTLY ON TERMINAL LEAVE AWAY FROM THE PERMANENT DUTY STATION (PDS) PENDING SEPARATION.
G. MARINES WHO MANIFEST SYMPTOMS OF POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER/TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY AND ARE UNDERGOING POST DEPLOYMENT HEALTH EVALUATION AND MANAGEMENT CARE WILL NOT BE SEPARATED UNDER THIS AUTHORITY UNTIL THAT PROCESS IS COMPLETE OR A WAIVER OF TREATMENT EVALUATION HAS BEEN EXECUTED.
5. PROGRAM TIMELINE
APPLICATION PROCESSING WILL COMMENCE IMMEDIATELY UPON RELEASE OF THIS MARADMIN.  MARINES REQUESTING A NEW CROSS FISCAL YEAR SEPARATION DATE FROM FY-15 TO FY-14 MUST SUBMIT THEIR VEERP REQUEST IN ENOUGH TIME TO REACH THIS HQ (MMEA) NO LATER THAN 180 DAYS PRIOR TO THE NEW REQUESTED EAS DATE.  THIS SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS REQUIRED TO ALLOW MANPOWER PLANNERS TO GAUGE FORCE IMPACTS AS WELL AS MANPOWER MASTER PLAN ADJUSTMENTS.  MARINES REQUESTING NON-CROSS FISCAL YEAR SEPARATION DATES WILL SUBMIT THEIR REQUESTS IN ENOUGH TIME TO REACH THIS HQ 60 DAYS PRIOR TO THE NEW EAS REQUESTED DATE. THE 365 DAY EARLY RELEASE WINDOW IS DETERMINED BASED ON THE MARINE’S ORIGINAL EAS. ADDITIONALLY, THE MARINE MUST MEET ALL ELIGIBILITY CRITERIA OUTLINED IN PARAGRAPH 3 OF THIS MARADMIN PRIOR TO EARLY RELEASE. UPON EARLY RELEASE, THE MARINE WILL BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE COMPLETED HIS/HER FULL ACTIVE SERVICE.  COMMANDERS ARE ENCOURAGED TO MAXIMIZE THE USE OF THIS CROSS FISCAL YEAR PROGRAM IN ORDER TO MAXIMIZE BUDGETARY SAVINGS AND FAVORABLY IMPACT MARINE CORPS ENDSTRENGTH GOALS.
6. COORDINATING INSTRUCTIONS
A. HQMC (MP) MAINTAINS ALL POLICY ASSOCIATED WITH THIS PROGRAM.
B. HQMC (MM) MAINTAINS FINAL APPROVAL AUTHORITY FOR ALL REQUESTS.
C. INDIVIDUAL MARINES MUST SUBMIT REQUESTS TO PARTICIPATE IN VEERP VIA THEIR ADCON CHAIN OF COMMAND.
D. IT IS UNDERSTOOD THAT FULL PARTICIPATION IN THIS PROGRAM MAY RESULT IN SOME UNITS ACCEPTING TEMPORARY RISK BY FALLING BELOW HISTORICAL STAFFING LEVELS AS OUTLINED IN PREVIOUS VEERP MESSAGES. COMMANDERS’ SUPPORT OF THIS FORCE SHAPING TOOL IS CRITICAL FOR THE MARINE CORPS TO ATTAIN ITS 174K DRAWDOWN GOAL.
E. ADCON BATTALION/SQUADRON COMMANDERS WILL SUMBIT ALL VEERP PACKAGES TO THIS HQ (MMEA) FOR PROPER ADJUDICATION:
(1) ALL REQUESTS FOR FEWER THAN 180 DAYS EARLY RELEASE VIA THEIR MSC G-1 TO HQMC (MMEA) VIA NAVAL MESSAGE WITH THE REQUIRED VEERP SPREADSHEET ATTACHMENT.
(2) ALL REQUESTS FOR OVER 180 DAYS EARLY RELEASE WILL BE SUBMITTED TO MSC G-1’S FOR ENDORSEMENT FROM THE FIRST GENERAL OFFICER IN CHAIN OF COMMAND. MSC G-1’S WILL SUBMIT TO HQMC (MMEA) VIA NAVAL MESSAGE WITH THE REQUIRED VEERP SPREADSHEET ATTACHMENT.
(3) WITHOUT THE REQUIRED ATTACHMENT AND ACCURATE ELECTRONIC DATA INTERCHANGE PERSONAL IDENTIFIER (EDIPI), REQUESTS WILL NOT BE PROCESSED. USE PROCEDURES FROM REF (C) TO TRANSMIT MARINES’ PERSONAL DATA. THE REQUIRED SPREADSHEET ATTACHMENT CAN BE FOUND ON THE MMEA WEBSITE IN THE DISTRIBUTION AND POLICY REFERENCE AREA AFTER LOG-IN TO THE PORTAL. CONTACT HQMC (MM) POC WITH SUBMISSIONS QUESTIONS TO ENSURE ACCURACY IN SUBMISSION PROCEDURES.
(4) COMMANDERS WILL RECOMMEND APPROVAL OF THE SPECIFIC DATE FOR SEPARATION ON THE SPREADSHEET WHEN ENDORSING A MARINE’S REQUEST FOR EARLY RELEASE. COMMANDERS ARE ADVISED THAT VACANCIES OCCURING FROM MARINES APPROVED FOR VEERP WILL BE FILLED AS SOON AS PRACTICABLE BASED UPON PRIORITIZED REQUIREMENTS.  TERMINAL LEAVE IS AUTHORIZED AT COMMANDERS’ DISCRETION.
(5) COMMANDERS WILL PROVIDE SPECIFIC JUSTIFICATION FOR INDIVIDUAL MARINES NOT RECOMMENDED FOR APPROVAL TO PARTICIPATE IN THE PROGRAM.  COMMANDERS UTILIZING STABILIZATION FOR DEPLOYMENT AS JUSTIFICATION MUST ENSURE THAT MARINES HAVE BEEN REPORTED TO MMEA FOR PROPER STABILIZATION AND DCC REPORTING.  FOR DEPLOYMENT PLANNING PURPOSES, MARINES DEPLOYING IN SUPPORT OF A MEU REQUIRE 15 MONTHS REMAINING ON CONTRACT WHILE UDP DEPLOYMENTS REQUIRE 12 MONTHS REMAINING ON CONTRACT. FAILURE TO PROVIDE SPECIFIC RECOMMENDATIONS DOES NOT ALLOW THIS HQ TO MAKE INFORMED DECISIONS.
F. HQMC (MM) RESERVES THE AUTHORITY TO APPROVE/DISAPPROVE/RESTRICT THE TOTAL NUMBER OF EARLY RELEASE DAYS TO MEET THE NEEDS OF THE MARINE CORPS. MARINES OVERSEAS AND IN SOME PRIMARY MILITARY OCCUPATIONAL SPECIALTIES MAY BE RELEASED AT LESS THAN REQUESTED RELEASE AND/OR COMMANDER RECOMMENDED DATES. UPON HQMC (MM) FINAL APPROVAL, MMEA WILL REPORT THE NEW EAS/ECC VIA MCTFS UNIT DIARY ENTRY PER REF (D). COMMANDERS WILL BE NOTIFIED OF VEERP APPROVAL VIA DIARY FEEDBACK REPORT WITH HISTORY STATEMENT INDICATING APPROVAL FOR VEERP. NAVAL MESSAGE CORRESPONDENCE FROM HQMC (MM) WILL BE ISSUED AS REQUIRED TO ASSIST IN PROCESSING OR TO ALERT COMMANDERS OF APPROVAL  DETERMINATION CONTRARY TO RECOMMENDATIONS FROM THE ADCON COMMANDER.
G. MARINES BEING SEPARATED UNDER VEERP WILL SIGN A PAGE 11 ENTRY FOR INCLUSION IN THEIR OFFICIAL MILITARY PERSONNEL FILE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THEY ARE A VOLUNTEER FOR THE PROGRAM AND THAT SEPARATION REQUIREMENTS WILL BE COMPLETED PRIOR TO EAS. EXAMPLE PAGE 11 ENTRY: I HAVE BEEN APPROVED FOR PARTICIPATION IN THE FY15 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM. I UNDERSTAND THAT MY NEW EAS IS (YYYY/MM/DD). I HAVE BEEN COUNSELED ON THE CONTENTS OF THE FY15 VOLUNTARY ENLISTED EARLY RELEASE PROGRAM MARADMIN AND UNDERSTAND THAT I WILL BE CONSIDERED TO HAVE COMPLETED MY FULL ACTIVE SERVICE. I UNDERSTAND THAT I AM REQUIRED TO COMPLETE ANY REMAINING RESERVE OR READY RESERVE OBLIGATIONS PER MY INDIVIDUAL SERVICE ENLISTMENT CONTRACT. ADDITIONALLY, I UNDERSTAND THAT PRE-SEPARATION COUNSELING, TAP/TAMP AND MEDICAL SCREENING FOR SEPARATION MUST BE COMPLETE PRIOR TO MY NEW EAS.
H. UNIT DIARY ENTRIES REPORTING RELEASE FROM ACTIVE DUTY OR DISCHARGE WILL BE SUBMITTED PER REF (D).
(1) THE SEPARATION PROGRAM DESIGNATOR CODE (SPD) FOR ACTIVE DUTY ENLISTED MARINES BEING RELEASED FROM ACTIVE DUTY IS MCC1, REDUCTION IN FORCE. THIS SPD APPLIES TO MARINES THAT HAVE REMAINING OBLIGATED SERVICE OR WISH TO TRANSFER TO THE RESERVES. REF (E), PARAGRAPH 6404.3 PROVIDES THE AUTHORITY FOR THIS SPD.
(2) THE SPD FOR ACTIVE DUTY ENLISTED MARINES BEING DISCHARGED FROM ACTIVE DUTY IS KCC1, REDUCTION IN FORCE. THIS SPD APPLIES TO MARINES WHO HAVE COMPLETED EIGHT YEARS ACTIVE DUTY OBLIGATED SERVICE AND DO NOT WISH TO TRANSFER TO THE RESERVES. REF (E), PARAGRAPH 6404.3 PROVIDES THE AUTHORITY FOR THIS SPD.
(3) MARINES ALREADY DENIED FURTHER SERVICE WILL RETAIN THE APPROPRIATE SPD CODE AND MUST SUBMIT FOR SEPARATIONS PAY DETERMINATION PER REFS (E) AND (F). RELEASE OF REGULAR ACTIVE ENLISTED MARINES WITH MILITARY SERVICE OBLIGATIONS FROM ACTIVE DUTY WILL BE AFFECTED IN ACCORDANCE WITH REF (E).
J. IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT COMMANDS NOTIFY THEIR DISBURSING OFFICERS/FINANCE OFFICERS (DO/FO) REGARDING EACH MARINES EARLY SEPARATION PER REF (G). THOSE ORGANIZATIONS RESPONSIBLE FOR SEPARATING MARINES ARE REQUIRED TO IMMEDIATELY NOTIFY THE DO/FO VIA A NAVMC 11116 OF THE PENDING SEPARATION. A NAVMC 11060 MUST THEN BE SUBMITTED TO THE DO/FO WITHIN 5 WORKING DAYS PRIOR TO THE MARINE’S SEPARATION DATE.
7. RESERVE COMPONENT OPPORTUNITY. THE SELECTED MARINE CORPS RESERVE IS ACTIVELY SEEKING THE SERVICE OF SEPARATING MARINES WHO WANT TO REMAIN AFFILIATED WITH THE MARINE CORPS UPON TRANSITION FROM THE ACTIVE COMPONENT. OPPORTUNITIES EXIST FOR ADVANCED OR ADDITIONAL MOS TRAINING. DEPENDING ON MOS AND BILLET AVAILABILITY, AFFILIATION BONUSES MAY BE AVAILABLE FOR TRANSITIONING MARINES. INTERESTED MARINES MAY JOIN A UNIT BY APPLYING FOR THE DIRECT AFFILIATION PROGRAM (MARADMIN 419/13) OR REQUEST ADDITIONAL INFORMATION BY CONTACTING A RESERVE TRANSITION COORDINATOR (RTC). TO CONTACT AN RTC, SELECT THE NEAREST POC FROM THE LIST BELOW:
A. MCAS CHERRY POINT, MCB CAMP LEJUENE, MCAS BEAUFORT, AND MCRD PARRIS ISLAND: SSGT CECILIA GONZALEZ AT COM: (910) 450-6291.
B. MCB CAMP PENDLETON, MCAS MIRAMAR, AND MCRD SAN DIEGO: GYSGT ROBERT MARCHAND AT COM: (760) 763-3426.
C. OKINAWA AND MCAS IWAKUNI: SSGT BRIAN JOSEPH AT (011)81-611-722-6004.
D. NATIONAL CAPITAL REGION, MCB QUANTICO, AND ALL OTHER LOCATIONS: GYSGT JEFFREY COCHRAN AT COM: (703) 432-9048.
AFTER REACHING THE EAS DATE, MARINES SEEKING ASSISTANCE WITH RESERVE AFFILIATION SHOULD CONTACT A PRIOR SERVICE RECRUITER AT WWW.MARINES.COM OR COMMERCIAL PHONE NUMBER 1-800-627-4637.
8. GENERAL INFORMATION
A. IN THE EVENT OF FUTURE RECALL, MARINES RELEASED UNDER THIS MARADMIN WILL BE CONSIDERED AS BEING IN THE SAME STATUS AS THOSE WHO HAVE COMPLETED THEIR OBLIGATED PERIOD OF ACTIVE DUTY.
B. ENLISTED MARINES SEPARATED UNDER AUTHORITY OF THIS MARADMIN MAY BE AWARDED THE GOOD CONDUCT MEDAL IF THEIR ADJUSTED EAS FALLS WITHIN 90 DAYS OF THEIR 3 YEAR GOOD CONDUCT MEDAL ANNIVERSARY DATE.
C. MARINES WHO ARE ENTITLED TO SEPARATION PAY UPON NORMAL EAS, WHO ELECT AND ARE APPROVED FOR EARLY RELEASE FROM ACTIVE DUTY UNDER THIS MARADMIN, WILL RETAIN THEIR ENTITLEMENT TO SEPARATION PAY PROVIDED THEY HAVE COMPLETED SIX YEARS OF ACTIVE SERVICE PRIOR TO THE DAY OF EARLY RELEASE (NEW EAS) FROM ACTIVE DUTY. MARINES ARE REMINDED THAT EARLY RELEASE FROM ACTIVE DUTY UNDER THIS MARADMIN COULD AFFECT THE AMOUNT OF THEIR SEPARATION PAY. REFS (E) AND (F) PRESCRIBE THE METHOD OF COMPUTING SEPARATION PAY. FURTHERMORE, IF EARLY RELEASE WOULD DISQUALIFY MARINES FOR SEPARATION PAY DUE TO LENGTH OF SERVICE CRITERIA UNDER THE LAW, MARINES WILL NOT BE RELEASED FROM ACTIVE DUTY UNTIL THEIR SERVICE LENGTH CRITERIA HAS BEEN MET.
D. MARINES WHO ARE ENTITLED TO SEPARATION PAY UPON NORMAL EAS MUST SUBMIT FOR EARLY RELEASE VIA A SEPARATIONS PAY DETERMINATION REQUE ST IN THE TOTAL FORCE RETENTION SYSTEM (TFRS). ALL REQUESTS OVER 180 DAYS FOR EARLY RELEASE WILL BE SUBMITTED WITH AN ENDORSEMENT FROM THE FIRST GENERAL OFFICER IN CHAIN OF COMMAND.
E. MARINES ENTITLED TO SEPARATION BENEFITS ARE AUTHORIZED THOSE BENEFITS IF RELEASED UNDER THIS MARADMIN. AS A REMINDER, ELIGIBLE MARINES AND THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS DESIRING TO RETAIN TRICARE PRIME UPON SEPARATION ARE REQUIRED TO REENROLL IN TRICARE.
F. MARINES ARE REMINDED TO REVIEW EDUCATIONAL BENEFITS PRIOR TO PARTICIPATING IN VEERP. A LIST OF ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS FOR THE POST 9-11 GI BILL CAN BE FOUND IN REFS (H) AND (I). MGIB REQUIREMENTS ARE FOUND IN REF (J).
G. ENLISTMENT BONUSES OR SELECTIVE REENLISTMENT BONUSES WILL NOT BE RECOUPED FROM MARINES SEPARATED UNDER THE AUTHORITY OF THIS MARADMIN AS IT IS A FORCE SHAPING MEASURE.
9. RESERVE APPLICABILITY. THIS MARADMIN IS NOT APPLICABLE TO THE MARINE CORPS RESERVE.
10. THIS MARADMIN CANCELS ON 30 SEP 2015.
11. RELEASE AUTHORIZED BY LIEUTENANT GENERAL ROBERT E. MILSTEAD JR., DEPUTY COMMANDANT FOR MANPOWER AND RESERVE AFFAIRS.//

How To Request Mast

How To Request Mast

Requesting Mast is the junior Marine’s ultimate defense against abusive superiors as well as being an excellent resource for marines who have unique issues that are not being adequately addressed by your platoon or shop. Unfortunately, while marines are told from day one that they have the right to Request Mast, most marines are never given any instruction regarding the procedure for how to Request Mast. This article is designed to correct this egregious training deficiency.

 

The first thing that should be addressed is what Request Mast is. According to NAVMC Directive 1700.23F (pages 1-2)

“Request Mast includes both the right of the Marine to communicate with the commander, normally in person, and the requirement that the commander consider the matter and personally respond to the Marine requesting mast. Request Mast provides a Marine the opportunity to communicate not only with his or her immediate commanding officer, but also with any superior commander in the chain of command up to and including the Marine’s commanding general… To be effective, Request Mast must have the wholehearted support of those to whom the leadership of Marines is entrusted. Anyone who attempts to deprive a Marine of the right to Request Mast, through either acts of omission or commission, will be subject to punishment under [the UCMJ].”

To sum up, Request Mast is a right not a privilege; your Commander is required to personally respond to you (although he/she doesn’t necessarily have to fix your problem), and anyone who tries to prevent you from Requesting Mast can be punished under the UCMJ. Also, contrary to what some marines may tell you, there is no right to request mast to the Commandant. Except in very rare circumstances your right to request mast ends at your immediate Commanding General. If you wish to go higher than your immediate Commanding General, that person may choose to honor your Request Mast or may choose to deny it.

Note: For this article, the term “Commander” refers to Company/Battery Commander, or higher. Basically, anyone who has the authority to NJP you. Your Second Lieutenant does not count as a Commander for the purposes of this article.

 

Now that we have a basic idea of what Request Mast is, we can move on to the procedure of Requesting Mast.

Step 1: Fill out a copy of NAVMC 11296.

Note: You DO NOT have to fill this form out on your own if you are not confident in your abilities with paperwork. Per NAVMC Directive 1700.23F (page 21) your unit must have someone assigned to assist in preparing this form. Under normal circumstances this will be your unit Sergeant Major, First Sergeant, or Admin Chief; however, this does not necessarily have to be the case. Check your “Troop Information Board” (probably located near the Duty desk) for your unit’s hazing policy and who your unit has assigned to assist in preparation of NAVMC 11296.

For those of you who feel confident in filling out this form, it’s fairly straightforward, but there are a couple of points that should be reinforced:

  1. In Block 8a, provide the NAME and BILLET of the Commanding Officer that you’re Requesting Mast to. i.e. if you want to request mast to your Battalion Commander, block 8a should read “Battalion Commander, Colonel [what’s his name]”. I know it seems like an obvious thing and I don’t mean to insult anyone’s intelligence; but frankly, it is easy to overlook so be careful to fill out the form correctly.
  2. In Block 8b, PROVIDE DETAIL. Give names, dates, witnesses (preferably witnesses who will agree with you and not sell you out). Also, if you’ve brought up your issue to your Sgt, or SSgt or LT, write that down too. Assume that your Commander is an idiot (who knows, it might be true) and break it down Barney-style for him/her.
  3. In Block 8c, tell your Commander exactly what you would like for him/her to do to fix your problem. Don’t just say “I’d like my problem fixed”, or just list something that you’d like to have happen that wouldn’t actually fix your problem. Say (for example) “I’d like for there to be a Company-wide Crack-down on Hazing so my NCO’s are aware that their behavior will not go unpunished.” Again, assume that your Commander is an idiot, and break it down Barney-style.
  4. Block 9 is fairly straight forward, but be sure to fill in the blank in the second line (The second line begins: “on this page (page 1) and ends on page ___ .”). If you have typed up your entire complaint on the form, write “1” in the blank. If you had to add a page write “3” in the blank (Page 2 is where your Commander will make his/her remarks, so don’t put “2” in the blank.)
  5. Part II (on page 2) is for your Commander. Don’t write in it anywhere. Part III (also on page 2) is what you will initial and sign after you’ve spoken to your Commander. Don’t write in it anywhere, until AFTER you’ve spoken to your Commander.
  6. (Optional) If you’re concerned about other Marines in your unit reading your Request Mast form, you can place it in an envelope marked “To be opened by Commanding Officer [Rank, Name] only”.

Note: You can type directly onto this form, and then print a completed copy. I would highly recommend this as it will make your Request Mast easier for your Commander to read, will let you make use of a spellchecker, and will let you go back and make corrections to make sure that your Request Mast says exactly what you want it to say.

 

Step 2: Make Your Immediate Superior Aware of Your Request.

This is possibly the least formal part of the entire process. Simply go up to your Fire Team Leader (or if your unit doesn’t work in Fire Teams, go to your Cpl, Sgt, or whoever is the next man up the totem pole from you) and inform them “I would like to Request Mast to [Insert your commander’s name here].” If your Fire Team Leader  is the person you’re having an issue with, go to the next person higher, and inform them that you’d like to Request Mast.

At this point your Fire Team Leader will likely say something to the effect of “Well what’s your problem?” or “Don’t Request Mast! Let’s solve this in-house!” This is actually a violation of a direct order. NAVMC Directive 1700.23F Chapter 2, Paragraph 2 (page 7) reads:

“Once a Marine expresses a desire to request mast, all efforts thereafter should be directed toward getting the Marine before the commanding officer to whom the petition is addressed. NCO’s, SNCO’s and Officers subordinate to the Commanding Officer shall not delay the Request Mast process in order to solve the problem themselves, but rather will focus their effort on making the Marine available to the commander.”

In short, you don’t have to tell anyone why you’re requesting mast (“I respectfully refuse to answer” is a good way to phrase it without being accused of being belligerent). You may also want to inform your Fire Team Leader that attempting to solve your issue “in-house” is actually a violation of the Request Mast order.

NAVMC Directive 1700.23F Chapter 5, Paragraph 1 Section c. (page 15) states that “In general, there should be no more than one working day delay from when the request is presented to when the Marine sees his/her commander.” While this isn’t an absolute guarantee, it is very likely that – if you Request Mast on Monday, you should be in front of your Commanding Officer before close of business on Tuesday.

Note: If you DID NOT fill out NAVMC 11296 by yourself, use that 24 hours to get in front of the whichever senior enlisted Marine your unit has assigned to help you get that form filled out.

 

Step 3: Meeting with your Commander.

Depending on your unit, you’ll likely be told to “report in” (The whole, “Good morning sir, [Rank, Name] reporting as ordered, sir.”). I’d recommend rehearsing that a couple of times just so you make a good first impression on your CO.

According to NAVMC Directive 1700.23F Chapter 3, Paragraph 4 (page 11) your commander’s roll in Request Mast is as follows:

“When considering Request Mast, commanders should focus their attention on the subject of the Request Mast and not necessarily on the requested remedy/outcome, as is too often the case. Often the two do not match, or the requested remedy in itself has no impact on solving the issue of the Request Mast. The onus on the commander is to seek clarification in such cases in which subject and outcome are not aligned, and to direct corrective actions accordingly to resolve the problem.”

Basically, if you haven’t done a good job filling out Block 8c of your NAVMC 11296 form, you may not get the desired result, because your commander will think that your suggestion won’t actually solve the problem. That’s why it’s important to think your problem through and make sure you come up with a solution that will actually fix your problem. Also, if you’re concerned about your superiors taking reprisals against you, make sure you bring that up to your Commander at the time and ask what action you should take if there are reprisals against you.

At the end of the meeting you’ll need to initial, sign and date the appropriate lines in Part III of NAVMC 11296.

 

Step 4: After the Fact.

After your Request Mast

If you’re issues have been resolved and you’re having no further problems, congratulations! You don’t need to read any further!

If  you’re unsatisfied with the results of your Request Mast, and feel that your issue hasn’t been resolved, you have the option to repeat this process with your battalion/squadron commander, regiment commander, and/or commanding general. Persistence is the key!

If you’re issue has been resolved, but other superiors are taking reprisals against you, I’d recommend that you keep a pen and pad of paper handy so you can write down when, where, and who was involved with any reprisals that occur, and then Request Mast again to report them.

Some things to take note of are:

  1. Superiors that you previously had no issues with, who are suddenly giving you hell.
  2. Suddenly being in every working party (being on a working party isn’t enough to be considered retaliation, but if you’re constantly getting put on substantially more working parties than before, you should take note).
  3. Suddenly finding yourself pulling Duty more often.
  4. You find that your pros/cons are substantially lower than before.
  5. Other ways where you are blatantly being singled out/humiliated.

Note: If you’re especially concerned about retaliation you could always buy a Voice Recorder and keep it in your breast pocket so you can record what your superiors say, and use their own words against them.

 

Step 5: Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures.

If you’ve tried all of Step 4, and you’re still having issues (either your issue still isn’t fixed, or reprisals are still being taken against you) it may be time for drastic measures. Drastic measures include:

  1. Submit an Inspector General Complaint
  2. Write letters to your congress members
  3. Make videos and put them on Youtube

The name of the game is perseverance. If you keep at it long enough, you’ll eventually win.

 

Safety and Peace

Generals Say “Time To Fix the Marine Corps” And I Couldn’t Agree More… Sort Of… (Part 4)

Do as I say no as I do.

[This series is a response to a pair of recent article in the Marine Corps Times: “Commandant calls for new crackdown” & “Generals say it’s time to fix the Marine Corps”.]

 

My final suggestion for this series is bound to be the one that is least likely to be carried out: All officers, regardless of rank or billet, should be limited to 30 years in the Marine Corps, all enlisted Marines should be limited to 24 years, and all promotion criteria should be adjusted accordingly. (As an aside, if promotion requirements are going to be altered, there should also be the addition of MOS-specific testing & “leadership” testing as a promotion requirement. Anybody can run fast, do some pull-ups and accurately shoot a rifle with a scope. If someone is going to be an NCO and fill some sort of leadership role, they should be able to show on paper that they know about their MOS, and that they are at least aware of the basic tenets of Marine Corps leadership.) Frankly, General Amos was commissioned as a 2nd Lt in 1970; that means he’s been an officer for 43 years now. Similarly, Sgt Maj Barrett enlisted in 1981, has been in the military for 32 years, and has spent the last 11 of them as a Sgt Maj.

Does having been in for 30-40 years or more, automatically mean that they’re bad Marines or bad at their jobs? No, not necessarily. I know many Marines have their own opinions regarding the leadership abilities (or lack thereof) of Gen. Amos and Sgt. Maj. Barrett, and frankly, it is beyond the scope of this article for me to defend or condemn them as individuals. What I will say is that being in the Marine Corps for that long is bound to leave you hidebound, institutionalized, and very likely unable even to realize that some changes can be for the better. This is especially evident in Sgt. Maj. Barrett’s comment that “Service Charlie Fridays” is a good idea because it’s the way that it was done when he was a junior Marine, back in the ’80’s. Realistically, maybe “Service Charlie Fridays” was good enough for a decade where the Marine Corps had no major combat operations – maybe it was good enough for an era when you could go nearly 10 years and be promoted to SSgt before going on your first deployment like Sgt Maj Barrett did – but it obviously wasn’t good enough for a decade of war. Bearing that in mind: Why would the Marine Corps – the “tip of the spear” – ever want to go back to policies that clearly weren’t conducive to combat effectiveness? The only possible answer is quite simply that the current Generals and Sgts Maj. are (and were) so hidebound that they only grudgingly accepted those changes at the time.

Limiting Officers to 30 years and Enlisted to 24 years will help to keep new blood circulating into the most senior positions, reducing the institutionalization, and hopefully allowing for greater efficiency, adaptability, and capacity for mission accomplishment in the Marine Corps.

 

All things considered, I must say that I agree with the General’s intentions; and it is most definitely time to fix the Marine Corps. The problem is that the Generals and senior SNCO’s only seem to be concerned with fixing the aspects of the Marine Corps that aren’t broken.

 

This concludes my series responding to the top brass’ plans for the Marine Corps. Please comment below and let me know what you think.

Safety and Peace

NINJA_PUNCH

Generals Say “Time To Fix the Marine Corps” And I Couldn’t Agree More… Sort Of… (Part 3)

UNLAWFULINFLUENCE-MEME

[This series is a response to a pair of recent article in the Marine Corps Times: “Commandant calls for new crackdown” & “Generals say it’s time to fix the Marine Corps”.]

 

Continuing on, I’d like two issues that really go hand in hand: Uniforms, and Ceremonies:

In the past year we’ve seen the reintroduction of “Service Charlie Fridays”, and now there’s the idea of putting Marines on Duty in their Chucks. Apparently the Generals think that this is a good idea because it lets commanders see “at a glance” if their marines are squared away or not, and it reinforces a Marine’s “pride in their uniform”. There are a few problems with this idea:

  1. If – as a commander – you’re judging your Marines by how they look in their good uniforms you’re not going to have any clue who’s squared away and who’s not. The only thing you’re going to know for sure is which of your Marines are most likely to win a beauty pageant. Frankly, if your plan is to send your most beautiful Marines into combat in the hopes that they’ll awe the enemy with their masculine features… well as Generals that’s your prerogative. I’m just saying that I might suggest a different plan, such as making sure that your Marines are proficient in their MOS. Now, I know that any General who might happen to read this would say, “Well, as Maj. Gen. Nicholson already said, lax discipline in garrison leads to lax discipline in country.” Great! I absolutely agree that there should be discipline in garrison; however, there’s a difference between discipline, and rules for the sake of rules. A crackdown on drunken rowdiness is enforcing discipline. Requiring the Alpha Belt to extend 2 – 3/4 to 3 – 3/4 inches past the buckle is a rule for the sake of a rule that has no bearing on whether or not someone is a good Marine. If  we were to judge every Marine solely based upon his appearance in uniform, then we would have no choice but to declare Lt. Gen. Puller to be – without a doubt – the biggest disgrace to the uniform that the Marine Corps has ever seen. Yet for some reason during boot camp, Recruits are still taught to revere him as a great Marine. Perhaps that’s because he recognized that a beauty pageant was an exercise in futility instead of an exercise in discipline.
  2. I know this will be a shocker to many Marines (both officers and enlisted), but most Marines don’t take pride in their service uniforms. To be perfectly blunt, Marines love their Dress Blues; usually either because they joined in the hopes that they would get to kill a lava monster and then be miraculously transfigured into a Marine in Dress Blues, or because they know that nearly every time they wear them is a good occasion to get drunk. Regardless, the Blue uniform is fancy and Marines tend to like it. Similarly Marines tend to like the utility uniform. It’s reasonably comfortable, easy to maintain, and has the practical purpose of being useful for concealment in combat zones. The service uniforms, by contrast, have no real purpose. They’re not as fancy as the Blues, and they’re infinitely less functional than the utilities. Effectively they’re just another defunct relic of WWII. Perhaps it’s a bridge too far to suggest it, but to be completely honest the Marine Corps could do away with the service uniforms and have lost nothing in the way of combat effectiveness.

 

Next we come to the issue of ceremonies. Somehow throughout the entirety of the past decade (despite all of the wars and smaller conflicts that the U.S. has been involved in) the brass and senior SNCO’s have managed to ensure that change of command ceremonies, retirement ceremonies, promotion ceremonies, etc etc still remain a top priority. What’s more, General Amos has now unveiled his plan to have Cpls and Sgts promoted individually so that promotions to these ranks are “meaningful”. To be perfectly blunt, the last thing the Marine Corps needs is another reason to waste time that could be better spent training, repairing broken gear, or any number of other things. How many NCO’s or junior Officers move from one base to another on any given day with nothing more than a handshake or pat on the back from their peers or immediate command? Yet when a Sgt. Maj. or a senior officer leaves the whole unit has to effectively shutdown for a week so a lavish ceremony can be held in their honor.

Instead of continuing with this monumental waste of time, I propose that senior SNCO’s and Officers hold a simpler farewell that wouldn’t require so many enlisted Marines to be taken from their work for no purpose other than to march around for several hours. Perhaps Generals could have a simpler – perhaps even informal – ceremony involving his subordinate unit commanders and officers, and Sgts Maj. could similarly have a farewell ceremony involving only his fellow SNCO’s.

This would not only lead to increased mission accomplishment, and a decrease in wasted time, but also to increased morale in the lower enlisted Marines – who have always been taught that the obectives of the Marine Corps are “Mission accomplishment, and Troop welfare” only to watch ceremony take precedence time and time again.

 

This concludes Part 3 of my series. Please comment below and let me know what you think. Check back next Monday (Nov 11, 2013) for Part 4!

 

Safety and Peace

NINJA_PUNCH

Generals Say “Time To Fix the Marine Corps” And I Couldn’t Agree More… Sort Of… (Part 2)

Grumpy amos

[This series is a response to a pair of recent article in the Marine Corps Times: “Commandant calls for new crackdown” & “Generals say it’s time to fix the Marine Corps”.]

 

My second suggestion to the top brass is once again concerns duty. Brig Gen Kennedy insists that “duty is a privilege, really. It’s to watch over the flock.” Now frankly, Kennedy was a 2nd LT in 1985. I think it’s safe to say that he hasn’t stood a day’s duty in at least the past 20 years. What’s more as an officer, I think it’s fair to say that he’s never been the new PFC who has to pull a 18+ hour shift at the duty desk, with no relief, because his Cpl decided that Duty was a good excuse to catch up on some much needed sleep. So in that respect at least, Kennedy’s ignorance of how Duty works in the Marine Corps can be excused.

That being said, I like Kennedy’s notion of Duty NCO’s being proactive. I absolutely think that Marines should take their duty seriously, and be proactive in preventing stupid incidents. The problem is that Kennedy doesn’t have the slightest clue how to make it happen. I have four major suggestions:

  1. As noted in my previous post: Utility Uniforms, only! No Marine is going to be proactive in preventing incidents when he’s too worried that he might get a spot on his shirt.
  2. Two NCOs on Duty at a time. In this case I agree with Amos, but probably for different reasons. If I had a nickel for every time a PFC or LCpl pulled the bulk of a shift because the NCO felt like playing xbox or sleeping instead, Forbes would be writing a story about me. That leaves junior Marines with the impression that Duty is unimportant and it’s a good way for NCO’s to screw with them. If there were two NCO’s on Duty together and one had to be at the desk at all times, they would be more likely to divide their shift evenly and fairly instead of trying to screw each other over.
  3. Despite my agreement with Amos on doubling up on Duty, his “firewatch on every floor” idea would be extremely counterproductive. Having been to bases in Okinawa, Lejeune, Pendleton, and Hawaii, I’ve never seen a barracks where it would take the Duty NCO longer than 5 minutes to perform a cursory tour (only checking for major problems) or longer than  10 minutes to perform an in-depth tour. That makes a “firewatch on every floor” effectively a useless post; and nothing makes Duty feel more like a punishment than sticking people on a useless post.
  4. Duty must NEVER be assigned as a punishment for anything. If you want Marines to view Duty as a “privilege” then making it a punishment is absolutely the worst thing that could possibly happen. I would go so far as to say that assigning Duty to any Marine, for any reason other than “It happened to be your turn in the rotation” should carry a Mandatory Battalion-Level NJP. Furthermore, attempting to circumvent this by – for example – assigning a Marine to stand at the door to the barracks and open the door for every marine who walks in or out, should be similarly punished.

Do I honestly believe that implementing these ideas will instantaneously change Marines’ ideas about duty? No, of course not. What I will say is that removing several of the negative aspects that make Duty feel like a punishment is bound to give Duty a less negative connotation over time. It may not fix anything over night, but I’ll almost guarantee it will be an improvement in the long-term.

I’d like to move on, very briefly, to Amos’ idea of installing security cameras in the barracks. In theory, this could be a decent idea as it could allow Marines who are being hazed in the barracks to have video evidence to support their claims. However, on the other hand, I could very easily see a command using security footage to NJP a Marine that they don’t particularly like, for such minor infractions as wearing “shower shoes” from their room to the laundry room, or not wearing a belt while walking around the barracks. All things considered, unless there are strict rules regarding how security footage can be used, I see security cameras as a zero sum game. Whatever is gained in security has the potential to be paid for in morale.

 

This concludes Part 2 of my series. Please comment below and let me know what you think. Check back next Monday (Nov 04, 2013) for Part 3!

Safety and Peace

NINJA_PUNCH

Generals Say “Time To Fix the Marine Corps” And I Couldn’t Agree More… Sort Of… (Part 1)

amos_ihatetheusmc_article_header
I really need to be a meme…

In a pair of recent article in the Marine Corps Times (“Commandant calls for new crackdown”“Generals say it’s time to fix the Marine Corps”) General Amos noted that “we are now seeing signs that are our institutional fabric is fraying.” and he, several other Generals, and Sgt Maj Barrett lay out their plans to “fix the Marine Corps” (esp. problems with “sexual assault, hazing, drunken driving, fraternization and failure to maintain personal appearance standards”).

I’d like to take a moment to reiterate some of the lowlights of the proposed solutions to this “moral stagnation” before moving on:

  • All Marines on duty will be required to wear service uniforms, either “Bravos” or “Charlies,” depending on which uniform is in season.
  • Two NCOs will be on duty per barracks, and a firewatch will be conducted on each floor of each building. Brig. Gen. Paul Kennedy goes on to ask: “Are people really coming back and complaining about [the extra duty]? Their duty is a privilege, really. It’s to watch over the flock.”
  • Marines will no longer be promoted to corporal or sergeant in groups. “Each promotion to these ranks will be personal and meaningful,” [Amos says].
  • Other “near-term” changes [include] the installation of security cameras in every barracks.
  • When the issue of “Service Charlie Fridays” came up Brig. Gen. Kennedy simply responds “But that has all been done before.” and Sgt Maj Barrett relates that, when he was a PFC/LCpl (in 1981-83) “every single Friday… you were in Chucks… You’d walk and step in front of the first sergeant, and he would pull open your personal financial record to make sure everything was right… You’d then sidestep in front of the commanding officer next and do a couple facing movements. And then you’d salute and get your pay and walk away.”

While I agree with the top brass that sexual assault, hazing and the like are huge problems that need to be addressed, I suspect that they are really only symptoms of a larger problem. To wit – the Marine Corps is run by Generals and Sgts Maj who are so far removed from every day life in the Marine Corps that, for all intents and purposes, they don’t even qualify as Marines anymore. Now let me be clear: I’m not saying that the rank of “General” or “Sgt Maj” is itself the problem. The problem is that these positions are occupied by people who are so far removed – both by their billets, and by their time in the military – that they barely comprehend the problem, and can’t even begin to imagine the solution. That’s why we have the Commandant over in Quantico saying “We have this huge problem with sexual assault and hazing, so we’re going to give Marines more Duty, make sure they’re in those fancy-dancy service uniforms as often as possible, and we’re going to have more ceremonies, and make those ceremonies even longer! I’m confident that somehow this will manage to solve our problems.” What this really amounts to is little more than a tacit admission by the Commandant that the only tool that the top brass has is a hammer so they’re going to try to make every problem look like a nail.

 

Now, far be it from me to disparage the top brass’ plans without offering some better ideas for how to fix what’s really wrong with the Marine Corps. So without further ado, allow me to offer my improvements on the General’s “brilliant” plans:

Firstly, I’d like to address the uniform policy for Duty. Maj. Gen. Nicholson states that “The best guy you’ll ever have on duty is the one who is out stopping problems before they start… He’s taking a Marine who has really had too much to drink and putting his arm around him and getting him up to his room and putting him to bed before that guy has a chance to do something.” I absolutely, 100%, agree with this statement. I’ll even go so far as to say that I’d support having two Duty NCOs and two A-Duty’s so there will always be two people on post: one at the desk, and one wandering around looking for potential trouble. That being said, I have two concerns that I think need to be addressed here:

  1. How likely is a Marine on Duty going to be to help a drunken Marine get up the stairs to his room, when he has to be concerned about getting his Corfam’s scuffed, or maybe even getting vomit on his shirt?
  2. How likely is a Marine on Duty going to be to try to put down a drunken brawl, when he’s reasonably certain that he will be berated by his SNCOs for getting his shoes scuffed, or getting the ribbons ripped off his shirt and soiled, or getting a stain on his pants?

In both cases (and I could go on with additional examples) the Marine on Duty might act to help the other Marines, but in any event he will definitely be hesitant, not wanting to have to spend extra money replacing expensive uniform items. In many instances, the Marine on Duty might simply choose to walk away and let them fight it out; and then return five minutes later to find one of the brawling Marines gone, and the other lying unconscious on the pavement. For this reason, I propose that Duty should only ever be carried out in the Utility uniform (cammis).

This concludes Part 1 of my series. Please comment below and let me know what you think. Check back next Monday (Oct 28, 2013) for Part 2!

Safety and Peace

NINJA_PUNCH

Fleet Marine Life #155 – Budget

 

2012-10-29-fleetmarinelife155 - BudgetMost Marines live paycheck to paycheck. I wouldn’t say Marines suck with money because when the time comes to make it from the 1st to the 15th, some Marines have a temporary financial plan that takes account of every penny. It makes me laugh how most financial problems can be easily avoided with some sort of budget. A budget is a simple financial plan that you make up to make sure you know where your money is going. Even if you don’t have financial problems, I highly recommend that you take an hour out of your day once a month (or 3 months) and write down how much money is coming in and how much money is going out and to where it is going to.

You’d be surprised how much money you blow away on Monsters and alcohol during the weekend.

A basic budget looks something like this

====================

Budget for Oct 2012:

Money Coming in:
Monthly Paycheck: $995 (Underestimated LCPL pay)
Bank Interest: $5
———————–
Total coming in: $1,000

Money Going Out
Cleaning supplies: $40
Weekend food: $60
Entertainment: $100
Alcohol: $300
————————
Total going out: $500

Total at the end of Oct (Money In – Money Out):
$1000 – $500 = $500

I should have $500 left over.

====================

Assuming that this “imaginary LCPL” can keep this up for 4 years (48 months), he should have saved at least $24,000.

How can you tell if you’re like shitbag Steve? If you know what an overdraft fee is, chances are that you are financially unstable.

Living off the ATM since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #154 – Peep Show

2012-10-28-fleetmarinelife154 - Peep Show

In California, we used to live in a motel-style barracks where if you walked outside of your room, you’d be outside.

One Thursday, and I remember it was Thursday because everyone was cleaning, I went to the room of a female Marine and her roommate was crying. I asked why her roommate was crying and she said, “A Male Sergeant banged on the door last night asking her if she wanted to hang out and she said no. The Sergeant started banging on the door non-stop and said all sorts of terrible things.” Of course, he was drunk as fuck, because what idiot would do this at 2 o’ clock in the morning?

I noticed that they have their curtains closed and duct taped at the edge. I asked why this was so and she replied, “It’s because male Marines try to look into our room.” That’s fucking creepy.

Trying to catch a peek since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #153 – Air Conditioning

2012-08-05-fleetmarinelife153 - Air Conditioning

Every barracks I go to, the central AC is always blasting during the winter. I can’t turn this down because it’s all controlled by a big, central AC unit. I always complain about this to the BEQ managers, and they all universally end up getting nothing done. Sometimes they make some bullshit up like, “Having the AC on during the winter saves energy.” I don’t understand how anyone can believe that nonsense.

So I have to stuff my ventilation hole with some clothes, like everyone else. When summer is here, the AC stops working because it was on full blast during the winter nonstop. I don’t think the fact that everyone was stuffing their vent holes with clothes helped either.

Living in a meat locker since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #152 – Manpower Shortage

2012-08-03-fleetmarinelife152 - Manpower Shortage

Someone I knew was tasked to go to Afghanistan on a 6 man team. When they got there, they were assigned to do the task of 40 people. How’d they function? Not very well but barely.

But whose fault is this? This was a mistake made by someone high up. It’s not just a mistake, it’s a major fuck up. But who cares, right? I mean, it’s always the lower downs that get shit on.

Oh, and no one got any awards.

Short on manpower since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #151 – Hookers In The House

2012-08-02-fleetmarinelife151 - Hookers In The House

A long time ago, a bunch of my fellow Marines had women (we weren’t allowed to have women) in their rooms. A noisy SNCO caught them and then the next day, those Marines and I were put on a military policeman course to get a certificate for pepper spray, and we weren’t even MPs! The thing is, to get this certificate, you had to get sprayed in the face with military grade pepper spray. I was blind for 2 hours and my face felt like it was in an oven because of someone else’s mistakes.

One of the Marines, LCPL Wendy, wrote to me saying:

“I got in so much trouble for having women in the villa. So I was placed on restriction… While on restriction, I witnessed a train of hookers walk into the back door of the SNCO and Officers villa in broad daylight… The same MARRIED men, who were desperately trying to NJP me, were having blatant affairs.”

Getting pepper sprayed for something you didn’t do since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #150 – Short Timer PT

2012-06-08-fleetmarinelife150 - Short Timer PT

Checking out of the Corps can take at most 2 days or at least 3 months.

As a short-timer, someone with little time left in their contract, you can get away with a lot. Most short timers choose the latter option. If you’re checking out of the Corps, chances are, you’re sick of their bullshit. The almighty Corps Checkout sheet will get you out of so much bullshit. It’s like what holy water is to a vampire.

They got theirs so you might as well get yours.

Semper I, fuck the other guy.

Taking forever to check out since 1779.

Fleet Marine Life #149 – Publications

2012-05-23-fleetmarinelife149 - Publications

There’s nothing quite as insane as cleaning in cammies at 2am in the morning. My higher ups, for some insane reason, are obsessed with cleaning. Not just them, but every other higher up I have come across. Universally throughout the Corps, all higher ups just want their junior Marines to field day their rooms for 8 hours every Thursday. Now, we don’t live in a spacious room. It’s something like a 15 x 15 foot room. 8 hours to clean a 15 x 15 foot area per week. That’s with 2 people.

Clean to normal people means: not sticky, smells fine, not dirty. Something along those lines. Clean to higher ups means that there cannot be any spec of dust anywhere. Even inside the hollow areas of your chair. One piece of lint means more cleaning.

Why waste so much time on something so trivial?

Higher ups justify this trivial waste of time as an essential part of every day Marine life. To summarize these words, “Field days win wars.”

I have concluded that my higher ups equate cleaning with warfighting.

http://www.clausewitz.com/readings/mcdp1.pdf (Original Publication)

On a side note, I am positive that no one reads any of these pubs nor do they talk about them. It’s something shops keep around to feel “more smarter.”

Cleaning since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #148 – Lightbulb

2012-05-05-fleetmarinelife148 - Lightbulb

In the USMC, for every action, there is tons of paper work behind it. Reason being is if something goes wrong, the higher ups know who to blame. And usually the higher ups are not to blame.

Let’s say it’s a 96 (vacation). You want to go to a neighboring state for tourism. Whoa, there! No can do! You’ll need to fill out a HARP (Holiday Accident Reduction Program) form before you think about doing stuff like that! Every 96, you need to fill out this form.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CGsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marines.mil%2Funit%2Fsafety%2FDocuments%2FHARP.doc&ei=ftClT9fINuiC6AHlkJW6BA&usg=AFQjCNH2a_R5g5CltrYYFkbw8HwdVWpldw(HARP Form Sample)

Open it up and look at it. You have to tell your higher ups where you’re going, what you’re going to do, if you’re going to drink or not, if your car is ok, etc. This is another wonderful reminder that the government owns you. The higher ups do this so they can burn your ass if you decide to go somewhere else all of the sudden and do some stupid shit. The system is designed to burn your ass and not the higher ups!

Anyways, let’s see how many forms are produced in the USMC. Let’s say that there’s roughly 150,000 enlisted active duty folks in the USMC. Assuming that only E-5s and below have to fill out these forms, this number boils down to 125,850 (83.9%). That means there will be 251,700 sheets of paper produced during every 96. After the 96, I’m sure these things are thrown away or left to rot.

Doesn’t this seem like a gigantic waste? Well, there’s alot of things in the USMC that requires paperwork. Even the simplest of things.

http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/marinepromotions/a/marineprom.htm (Enlisted count)

How many Marines does it take to fix a lightbulb?
Ten. 9 to supervise and 1 to fix the lightbulb.

or

Five. One to stand on top of the chair and hold the lightbulb, three to spin the chair, and one to supervise.

Uncomplicated Shit Made Complicated since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #147 – Tactically Acquire

2012-04-28-fleetmarinelife147 - Tactically Acquire

The Marine Corps has always been grossly underfunded. This has encouraged Marines to get what they need through less legitimate means. There is a saying that says, “Marines never steal,” which is the biggest load of crap ever. Marines don’t call it stealing, they call it some shit like, “tactically acquire.”

Everywhere you go in the Corps, you need gear watch on your shit, because someone is going to always try to steal your shit. In the Corps, if you do get your shit stolen, it’s more than likely your fault.

In the movie “Full Metal Jacket,” Private Pyle leaves his foot locker unsecured. His drill instructor sees this and says, “If it wasn’t for dickheads like you, there wouldn’t be any thievery in this world, would there?!” Kind of ass-backwards logic, isn’t it?

There’s even an entire chapter (Chap. 10) in a book on the Commandant’s reading list on stealing (First to Fight by Victor H. Krulak)! Back then Marines stole everything from lumber to jeeps. On a side note, that book is an incredibly dry book and it took me forever to read just a few pages.

Stealing doesn’t solve the problem. Bottom line is that someone else is going to be missing something. You can prevent this cycle of stealing by making your shit hard to steal.

Tactically acquiring other people’s shit since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #146 – New GI Bill

2012-04-21-fleetmarinelife146 - New GI Bill

A lot of Marines end up not liking the Corps and try to get out of the Corps the easy way.

Here’s a list of how they try:
-Suicide
-Attempting Suicide
-Talking about doing suicide
-Doing drugs
-Attempting Drugs
-Talking about doing drugs
-Breaking their body
-Go UA (Unauthorized Absence)
-Desertion (UA for 30 days)
-Getting NJP’d a lot

From experience, I have seen people who have tried these methods and have failed to get out. Miserably. In fact, by doing anything on that list, you will only prolong your agony and suffering. EAS (End of Agony and Suffering) is the ONLY cure with no bad after effects.

There is this thing called the Post 9/11 GI Bill, and it is insane in the membrane. How good is it? On a scale of 1 to 10, it’s a fucking million. Check this shit out. They pay for your school. They pay for your books. On top of all that, they give you Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) at the rate of an E-5 with dependents. It doesn’t matter if you got out as an E-1 or an E-9000. The BAH rate is dependent on the zip code of your school.  So if you’re in Bumfuck, Nebraska, you’ll probably get like a few berries and twigs. However, if your school is in some heavily populated area like San Francisco ($2,742 a month), Los Angeles ($2,001 per month), Washington D.C ($2,106 per month), Boston ($2,493 per month), or New York City ($2,835 per month), you will be banking a lot of money.

You may think, “What’s the catch? In what shape or form does the green weenie fit into this?” The only catch is that in order to use this bill, you need an honorable discharge. So if you plan on getting out of the Corps by taking a dump on the roof your Commanding Officer’s car, I highly recommend that you cease and desist with that shit (no pun intended).

Just get out with 3.0/4.0 pros and cons, and you will get your honorable discharge. This benefit lasts for 36 months of schooling. The months can be broken up and used fractionally.

For more info on the Bill, check out the FAQ below.

http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/post_911_gibill/index.html (Official Info on the Post 9/11 GI Bill. Check for changes)

http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm (BAH Calculator. Remember, E-5 with dependents.)

http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm (BAH Rate with dependents for 2012.)

http://newgibill.org/get_answers (FAQ on the Post 9/11 GI Bill

Leaving the Corps and getting an education since 1779.

Fleet Marine Life #145 – Bridge to Nowhere

2012-04-18-fleetmarinelife145 - Bridge to Nowhere

America has been at war (undeclared) with Afghanistan and Iraq for almost a decade. The war in Iraq and Afghanistan doesn’t really contribute to the end of terrorism. After World War 2, America did a lot of shit behind closed doors that pissed off everyone. Until our government stops meddling in other people’s problems, people around the world are going to continue being pissed off at the US.

These wars are costing hundreds of billions of dollars per year, and what is there to show for it? Nothing. No end in sight.

I tried contacting my senators and representatives asking when the end of the war was going to be, but they always make up some bullshit about “pulling out carefully.” Translation: Next year. Translation of the translation: Next decade.

Http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0933935.html (Cost of wars)

Can you imagine how much good can be produced with the $1.29 trillion that have been spent so far on these wars? Think of how much good we can do in OUR own country. Think of how many local American problems could be solved. It’s almost unimaginable.

Politicians do it all for the money. The money is constantly lining the pockets of corrupt politicians who don’t have to fight or send their kids to fight. Instead, they promote more wars in more places where the US doesn’t have to be. War is a racket that can be very profitable for those on the inside.

Obama removed all the troops out of Iraq, but we still have thousands of contractors in Iraq and a gigantic embassy. Appearances can be deceiving. This is one of the many ways how politicians play their silly game.

http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2011/10/soldiers_may_be_leaving_iraq_but_contractors_are_just_scaling_back.php

As of now, America is in $15.6 trillion in debt (FederalBudget.com)! Where is the government going to get that money? Taxes make people go crazy, so that’s a bad idea. The government always chooses inflation, which is like a tax but slower. After some period of time, anyone carrying dollars will suffer mysteriously higher prices at the pump, at the market, or wherever.

The people are waking up to the corruption and are getting more restless everyday. The government is seeing this and is combating the civil unrest by taking away our civil liberties (See SOPA and NDAA) and sicking their policemen on normal everyday citizens. These are dark times for America and we should all be watching the people who are supposed to be protecting us.

The only true end to the government’s silly game is when they become broker than broke. The US is broke now, but they can be broker than broke (See post WWI Germany). It looks like we’re on that path and everyone is going to suffer.

Pissing away money since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #144 – Open Door

2012-04-14-fleetmarinelife144 - Open Door

You can’t trust higher ups. They often say they have open door policies. Their open door policy should be used with extreme caution. Whatever you say will be used against you. I have met a lot of higher ups with “open door policies,” but from their records, the “open door” policy felt more like a “trap door” policy.

Honesty is not good in the Corps. I’ve known Marines who burned themselves with honesty. They harmed no one, they did no real wrong, yet they felt compelled to admit they had problems with drugs and alcohol. It was by far the worst decision they ever made.

If you have a problem, be extremely careful who you talk to in the Corps. They may say they can help you, but they may end up being a snake in the grass waiting to bite you in the nuts and inject their venom. One sentence of truth in the Corps can have adverse long-term effects on your career and your life.

Falling through trap doors since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #143 – Handyman

2012-04-03-fleetmarinelife143 - Handyman

The higher ups seriously need to stop building new barracks and letting the old barracks go to shit. I’m sick of seeing millions and millions of dollars go to new barracks that never get finished when our barracks has everything just falling apart from inside out.

My paycheck is for me and should not be used toward super gluing my room together!

On another note, if you haven’t checked out the “A Few Good Links” section, go to it!

Shitting in a plastic bag since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #142 – iHateTheUSMC

2012-04-02-fleetmarinelife142 - IHateTheUSMC

I’ve always wondered the day when USMC high command would move to shut down www.IHateTheUSMC.com. The Marine Corps often times focuses on the symptoms of problems instead of actual problems themselves.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against the website. I enjoy reading the stories on that website since they’re legitimate complaints about the Corps written by real Marines. Plus, this website is a gold mine for comic writing since I honestly can’t make up half the shit I write.

http://www.usmcsolutions.com/archives/category/stories

Instead of taking these stories and making the Corps a better place, most higher ups found on IHateTheUSMC.com (Sgts and above) typically spew out illiterate nonsense against those who talk poorly about current USMC policies.

Here are a few REAL UNALTERED examples:

I HATE BOOTS wrote:
“I HATE YOU BOOTS CRYING ABOUT EVERYTHING. GO TO THE CHOW HALL GET A STRAW AND SUCK IT THE  FUCK UP… YOU COCK LOVING FAGS YOU’RE SO LUCKY THAT IM NOT YOUR LEADERSHIP I WOULD HAZE THE FUCK OUT OF YOU.. I HOPE YOU ALL DIE

RS
YO MOMMA

MeJarHead wrote:
“fuckin’ whiners. The best thing you ever did was join the Corps and get a set of brass balls… maybe! You pussies talked a lot of shit when you were in to impress Suzy Rottencrotch and the neighbor girl. I saw this every fuckin’ day. You limp dicks were in awe of me and my kind… total Marine committed and dedicated to the mission. Cry all you want. It shows your mettle. What a buch of cryin’ bitches. MGuns”

Syrtyr wrote:
“Who the HELL is this ATTACKING MY BELOVED CORPS!!!!!!! Stop being a coward and be an OATH KEEPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OR didn’t your mommy and daddy teach anything about HONOR? Or PRIDE?? No they didn’t!!!! THE MARINE CORPS DID you disgusting piece of whale turd you!!!”

If you’re a (or were) Marine, you should visit this website for a laugh or two.

www.IHateTheUSMC.com since 2010.

Fleet Marine Life #141 – Attrition

 

2012-04-01-fleetmarinelife141 - AttritionBeing a Marine sucks ass. Sure I “wasn’t promised a rose garden,” but holy crap. I didn’t expect stupidity and bullshit on a scale of which I can only imagine. Neither did a lot of other Marines. You didn’t need any data to tell you that not too many people willingly reenlisted.

Check out this data complied by the Military Leadership Diversity Commision (MLDC).

http://mldc.whs.mil/download/documents/Issue%20Papers/31_Enlisted_Retention.pdf

The USMC has a low Enlisted re-enlistment rate. To be clear, re-enlistment is defined as a change in the ETS (Expiration, Term of Service; End of Active Service, EAS) date of 36 months or more.

Service members were characterized in 3 zones.
Zone A: 17 months to 6 years in service when they reenlist. (First termers)
Zone B: 6-10 years of service. (Second Termers)
Zone C: 10-14 years of service. (Careerists aka Lifers)

As you can see, the majority of first termers leave. Even second termers are somewhat reluctant to stay.

Marine Corps’s enlisted reenlistment rates for Males (Not exact):

2000-2008
Zone A: 20% – 35%
Zone B: 45% – 65%
Zone C: 70% – 80%

With these numbers, let’s say there’s 1,000 people who join the Corps. After their first term, about 200-350 are left. After one more term, about 90-228 are left. That’s a lot of people gone after about 8-10 years! This goes to show you how shitacular life is in the USMC.

Out of all the branches in the military, it is no surprise that the USMC has the lowest reenlistment rates. Marines get treated like sub-human beings. We would talk amongst each other wishing that we lived like the people in the Air Force. They had the nicest barracks, the nicest things, the nicest… EVERYTHING. We were all jealous! All we could do was talk shit about how “they’re not tough” or “at least we’re Marines,” but deep down, we felt our regret. It’s kind of like buying a used car that breaks down a lot when you could have bought a brand new car with the same amount of money. You can’t do much except say something along the lines of, “Oh yeah? Well my car looks better than yours!”

Just for fun, let’s look at the Air Force.

Air Force’s enlisted reenlistment rates for Males (Not exact):

2000-2008
Zone A: 35% – 50%
Zone B: 55% – 75%
Zone C: 80% – 85%

With these numbers, let’s say there’s 1,000 people who join the Air Force. After their first term, about 350-500 are left. After one more term, about 193-375 are left. Not too bad.

Not reenlisting since 1779.

Fleet Marine Life #140 – Recruiter Lied

2012-03-31-fleetmarinelife140 - Recruiter Lied

Recruiters are smooth talking salesmen that are there to make sure you sell your soul to Uncle Sam for 4 years. Recruiters need bodies or else their careers will go in the shitter. Pretty much every single recruiter is a careerist forced beyond his will to recruit. They need bodies and they will get it by any means necessary. They will definitely lie. They honestly don’t give a shit if they don’t meet their end of the bargain.

My recruiter didn’t lie to me. He simply misled me. He put me in front of this book with a list of fields. Each field had a list of MOSes. I chose a field that looked good, because it had the MOS I wanted. Fast-forward a few months later and I get my MOS. Something I didn’t want. I thought to myself, “No way. This does not sound like anything in the field I chose.”

I look in my SRB and lo-and-behold, my MOS is in that field… sandwiched between all the wanted MOSes.

Recruiters can lie and they will get away with it. If they promise something, you need evidence. You will need such promises in writing.

On ihatetheUSMC.com, a former Marine wrote:

“The Marine Corps really is like a huge shit sandwich… some recruiters might tell you a little about the shit but definetely not too much. Yes, they acknowledge the shit is there, but what they do is they try to cover it up, they talk about benefits, country, school, steady paycheck, medical care, duty to something greater than yourself, all this moto, psuedo-patriotic, and at times, self-interested bullshit.. But really what they’re really doing is trying to cover up the shit , basically, if you read between the lines,  they’re saying ” Yes, I know it’s a shit sandwich, but check it out, we put some tomatoes on it, some pickles, some ranch, some onions, some bacon, a little ketchup and mustard.. it can’t taste that bad after all this awesome stuff that comes with it..” and then, you sign the contract and there you are, just eating this disgusting shit sandwich, and all the topping’s in the world can’t and won’t make this shit sandwich taste better, I’d give it all back just to be a civilian.. If you’re reading this and intend to enlist/re-enlist.. don’t, just don’t, go, live a normal life..”

Getting the wrong MOS since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #139 – Leadershit

2012-03-30-fleetmarinelife139 - Leadershit

I’ve learned a lot about leadership in the Corps. Whenever you go, you’ll see “leaders” both good and bad. No matter what leaders you get, you’ll most definitely be able to take something out of it.

In my last unit, I met a lot of leaders who often set the example… of what not to do. The most important thing about leadership is being there. It’s half the battle! Most of the time, whenever the shit hits the fan, my leaders have no insight, no foresight or any type of sight at all. They have a tendency to disappear or put most (or all) of the pressure on the junior Marines to “figure it out.” This is not leadership at its finest.

Leaders are supposed to lead and be the top dogs, something to look forward to being. They’re not supposed to be leeches that latch on to their junior Marines and suck the life out of them. Junior Marines shouldn’t be used for personal gain, but they are. Leaders aren’t supposed to borrow money and CIF gear from their juniors and then never return them. Leaders aren’t supposed to reward their buddies and punish the hardworking. Leaders aren’t supposed to belittle junior Marines and call them racist slurs for fun.

There’s a lot of things leaders aren’t supposed to do. The damage they can cause is often times unforgettable and irreversible. Respect and trust will be lost, and those two values are very hard things to regain. Without either, a leader is worthless.

A lot of leaders I met in the Corps were pretty good to go, but it seems to me that the higher up you go in the ranks, the more corrupt and twisted you become. Most of the Sergeants and Staff NCOs I have met, sickened me. They were delusional beyond belief. Most of them led bitter lives as cheaters, thieves, liars, heavy alcoholics, and major league douchebags. Despite all these problems, they thought they had no problems.

They were so detached from their troops. Sure, a few of them had an “open door” policy, but it felt more like an “trap door” policy (Search integrity trap). The higher ups I knew were more concerned about burning Marines than actually listening to them and helping them.

Leaders in the Corps have a lot of power and impact on people’s lives. Unfortunately in the Corps, any suggestion or mere mention to any sort of positive change is often met with harsh criticism and backlash.

Lance Corporal Goodidea : Why do we have to wake up at 4am in the morning for PT? Can’t we do PT during our working hours since we don’t have too much work to do?
Sergeant Oldschool : No, we can’t do that.
Lance Corporal Goodidea : Why not?
Sergeant Oldschool : Because, we may have work during those times.
Lance Corporal Goodidea : 9 times out of 10, we usually don’t.
Sergeant Oldschool : Get out of my office.

The Marine Corps is very reluctant to change. They’re not the only ones. Many government bureaucracies are reluctant to change once certain policies are set.

Whenever Marines get MREs, they will field strip it and throw away most of the plastic and cardboard that they don’t have to carry. This helps reduce weight and size. After a few decades, we now have first-strike rations.

http://www.mreinfo.com/us/fsr/first-strike-ration.html

It’s like an MRE without all the extra packaging. Look at the difference in size between the old MREs and the new MREs. It cuts down on costs and waste. Of course, this idea is not something that a rocket scientist came up with. A lot of Marines would come up with the same question whenever they were field stripping their MREs. Why is there so much waste?

The USMC is a government bureaucracy whether you like it or not. Government bureaucracies is where innovation goes to die. There is little to no incentive to be outstanding. Status quo is where it’s at. It takes leaders from the top to help push about change. If the top leader is a status quo leader, then there will be no change. The USMC is jam-packed with status quo leaders.

Smelling the leadershit since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #138 – Part Two: Return of the Bullshit

2012-03-06-fleetmarinelife138 - Part Two Return of the Bullshit

Part two of the true story of the only decent SNCO I ever had…

Of course, the civilian courts didn’t buy the domestic abuse allegations, and dropped the case because in the civilian world you actually need evidence to try somebody.  But not so in the military, the allegations of domestic abuse caused NCIS to launch a crusade against my SSgt, and when they couldn’t find any evidence, the started digging through all of his military paperwork trying to find something to charge him with.  Do you know what they found?  They found that he looks even more squared away on paper than he does in real life!

Meanwhile, the command forbade him to return to his shop and stuck him in the company office, and then called the shop down to the company commander’s office so the Captain and 1stSgt could personally tell us not to go anywhere near SSgt.

When he was put on legal hold, he was on his terminal leave, now he’s more than three weeks AFTER his actual EAS date, and he’s still not even listed as a suspect in his own case because they can’t find anything on him, but they’re not willing to admit that maybe they were wrong.  Great use of taxpayer dollars don’t you think?

As if all of this wasn’t enough to go through, while he was on legal hold he received a negative counseling because he was found on the third deck of the barracks.  The counseling was conducted to instruct him “not to commit suicide”.  Because everyone knows that the best way to convince someone that you have just taken pretty much everything from, to not commit suicide, is to make him do negative paperwork regarding it.  Gotta love the infinite wisdom of the marine corps’ senior leadership.

So as of today my SSgt is still sitting around on legal hold.  This just goes to show that, no matter what your rank is, how long you’ve been in, what you may have accomplished, or how many times the command has promised to have your back, the moment that the rubber meets the road, and something happens that could reflect negatively upon the marine corps, you will be thrown to the wolves.

Safety and Peace

Realizing that your command is lying when their lips move since 1775

Fleet Marine Life #137 – Part One: The Dependapotomus Strikes Back

2012-03-05-fleetmarinelife137 - Part One The Dependapotomus Strikes Back

This is the story of the only decent SNCO I’ve ever had.  Rank never really mattered in our shop, because we respected each other as human beings.  We only addressed him as “Staff Sergeant” when there were people who outranked him around; otherwise he was “Boss”.  He may have been a SSgt, but if we had a project going on, he’d be right there next to us doing whatever we were doing.  He was extremely driven and in 12 years as an infantryman, he had managed to get two masters degrees.  He wanted to get out, go back home and start up a business, he already had everything financed and ready to go, everything was set.

Less than 48 hours after his EAS, his psychotic wife had him arrested.  I later learned (By willfully disregarding my Captain and 1stSgt’s orders) that apparently she was receiving money from the state of California for her kids (one of whom is disabled) and was also receiving money from the marine corps for the kids, and she decided that, if he left the marine corps, she would lose some of the money she had been receiving.  They were already separated and well on their way to divorce, but he stopped by that night to see his kids before he went home to get his business started.  His wife pounced on the opportunity and started screaming bloody murder to alert the neighbors and then called the cops.

Apparently in California (I’m not sure about other states), if you call the cops for domestic abuse and, when the cops show up, you say certain key words and phrases, the cops have to arrest the other person or else they get in trouble.  So take note, if you’re going to make the mistake of marrying a psychotic bitch in the state of California, make sure she’s too dumb to figure out what the key words and phrases are.

Safety and Peace

Getting fucked by our wives in every way except the way we’d like since 1775

Fleet Marine Life #136 – Art of Skating

2012-02-26-fleetmarinelife136 - Art of Skating

In a very special article, I will discuss about the ancient Art of Skating.

By skating a few minutes a day away throughout your Marine Corps career, those skated minutes will add up and pay you dividends. By practicing the art of skating and trading valuable skating skills with other people, preferably from other sections, you will become a grand master capable of repelling higher ups like a Jedi.

There are several goals to skating and that depends on what you want. Do you want to look like Chesty Puller without doing all the work? Do you want to cruise by and still get out with an honorable discharge? Do you just want to not do anything that day?

I will give you, the reader, some tools to help you on your road to becoming a proficient skater in our beloved Cream Corn. Take what you need and employ the right tools at the right time for maximum success.

1. Volunteering
Ever hear the acronym, “NAVY?” It stands for “Never Again Volunteer Yourself.” Volunteering is pretty much always a shitty deal with little to no reward(s) or gratitude.

Contrary to what people may believe, volunteering can be a tool to help you skate. Let’s say you know, or think you know, that there’s a big pile of elephant shit that needs to be shoveled that day. Your SNCO just asked for some volunteers to do some paperwork. Initially, no one will raise their hands. Fools! Of course you do because you would rather do paperwork than shovel elephant shit for 5 hours.

2. Working close with the higher ups
Higher ups always spend most of their day roaming the offices and drinking coffee. They will never go out of their offices to see whatever anyone is doing, and for that reason, you will never get high pros and cons working outside of the office. Working in the office is possibly the skatest thing you can do. You don’t really have to do much and you’ll get high pros and cons for your minimal effort. How the hell do people end up with office billets? Well, you can either be:

1. Lucky
2. Female

There’s no other way other than these two, and I’m sorry for misleading some of you people.

3. Being Average
You don’t want to do too much work. If you become over depended on, you’ll dramatically reduce your chances of leaving that office. Ever. If you do too little work, you’ll face the risk of getting negative paperwork. You have to find the right balance.

Sometimes being below average is a MUST to getting away from your god-forsaken company.

There was this guy in my platoon that got caught sleeping on post in an Afghanistan FOB. He got NJP without loss of rank. He also got caught beating off in a third-country national’s trailer while watching porno on that guy’s computer.

When everyone came back from Afghanistan, this guy got assigned to work at the Single Marine Program (SMP). My platoon was asked for volunteers to work at the SMP and everyone raised both hands while jumping up and down.

If your company really doesn’t want you, they will get rid of you by any means possible. Even if it means sending your ass to work in Las Vegas.

4. Know your Borders/Lanes
You have to “test the waters” and see what your higher ups react to or not. Every time your higher ups do not react, you have to keep pushing little by little and continually see what you can and cannot get away with.

5. Evade Everything.
By default, you should be avoiding everything. By everything, I mean everything. Higher ups, working parties, volunteering, etc. Remember that hard work brings about more hard work. Here are some ways that can help you evade everything:

* “Taking a dump” and sleeping on the toilet.
* Sleeping in the supply closet.
* Sleeping in another person’s work area.
* Sleeping behind the dumpster.

Remember to keep your cell phone on just in case they ask you where you are. If you don’t, you risk facing paperwork.

6. Lie, lie, and lie some more.
Always have an alibi and excuse for whatever you are doing at that exact moment. Excuses are key! If you’re not doing something, make something up. Perpetually pretend your looking for something or someone.

To get high pros and cons with minimal effort, you have to pretend that you’re working. Just log on to a computer and whenever someone asks if you’re busy just say the following lines:

“Yes, I’ll be done in five minutes. I just need to look up MCO 1234.”

7. Take your Time
Again, hard work brings about more hard work. If you receive some work that takes 10 minutes to complete, you’ll want to complete it in 5 hours. The longer you drag on a task, the less tasks you will receive that day and in the future.

To become a master skater, you must appear not to be a skater. Deception is everything.

By employing the “Evade everything” and “Knowing my borders” tool, I was able to successfully evade my company for 30 whole bullshit-free days without anyone knowing or caring. When I had to return from doing TAD, I didn’t really seek any initiative to report to my company. I had 30 days on Okinawa left, and I knew my company was disorganized as hell, so I tried to see if I could skate hardcore and I was able to get away with it.

I asked the BEQ manager if I could live on the first floor because I left in 30 days. Great success! My company lived on the fourth floor. So far, “evading everyone” just got exponentially easier. Also my room was unmarked so no one could find me.

Under the guise of “checking out,” I was able to get out of every single formation, working party, meeting for 30 days. I never had to report in to anyone. They told me to, but I “tested the waters” and tried to see if I could get away with it. I did that day and the next and the next and the next…

Did I care? No. Did my higher ups care? Well, they certainly can’t care for a problem that they don’t know about.

Before the day I had to leave, a Sergeant was onto my game. I got out of a buddy’s room, a buddy who was also skating hardcore, and there just so happened to be a Sergeant from our company. He interrogated me. I can’t remember what we talked about, but I do remember the pissed-off face he had on while he was talking to me. There was nothing he could do to me because I left Okinawa the next day.

Stoffel said :

“pros and cons. sorry, I make it a game to make up acronyms at work and use them frequently. I’ve found if no one knows what your acronyms mean and you have an excel spreadsheet with lots of colors and bold lines, everyone thinks your busy. That, and a track ball mouse with lots of buttons. No body wants to take your computer then.”

Readers, share some skating stories.

Working without working since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #135 – Pimpin

2012-02-25-fleetmarinelife135 - Pimpin

If you’re going to try to do something with two underaged females, don’t do it in the barracks room. If you’re going to do anything wrong, just do it away from the barracks. Whether it’s doing the nasty or smoking a crack pipe, just don’t do it in the barracks.

I don’t even know why people bother to do bad things in the barracks. People would rather save a few bucks now at the cost of increased risk. Well, when your ass gets NJP’d, you’re going to be paying time, money, and respect.

By going off base, you will dramatically reduce your chances of getting caught doing anything.

Also, you’re not supposed to be pimpin’ in the barracks especially when you’re married!

Getting caught with multiple drugged-up, underaged females since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #134 – Knowledge

2012-02-24-fleetmarinelife134 - Knowledge

Whenever I would ask questions, like I’m told to do if I don’t know anything, I would often get bitched at. I would be cast aside and labeled a retard. Looking back at it, I’ve often wondered why my higher ups often avoided questions. I’ve come to believe that they just wanted to avoid answering any questions for fear of showing their lack of knowledge.

I would always get fed some bullshit like, “You should know this already,” and, “Did you go to THIS GUY? No? Then get the fuck out of my face!”

However, if they do give you an answer, and they don’t know the answer, they will lie. Google everything they say. Question everything your higher ups say. If anything sounds weird, write it down on your notepad and google it later. Knowing nothing is better than false knowledge.

How do our higher ups manage to pick up rank and know so little about their MOS? They’re the ones that kiss ass and work very close to their higher ups. They’re the ones that are usually put in the office jobs doing a lot of non-MOS related work. And then when they’re the ones who get promoted, they’re the ones that talk the talk about how they worked here and there, but in reality, they didn’t do shit.

That’s all these shitty higher ups can do. Talk about how great they are, and it’s all lies! I had a fat Sergeant tell me about how he’s a PT stud but he just so happens to have a broken leg and a beer belly. I don’t understand how one can be that delusional as to believe their own lies. And people do believe them.

Since they refuse outright to put themselves in a situation that is naturally uncomfortable due to lack of experience or ignorance, this is the Marine they become throughout their career. The “easy way out” Marine. In the end, they think the USMC is easy and stay in as ignorant SNCOS.

Getting bitched at for seeking knowledge since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #133 – Pros and Cons

2012-02-20-fleetmarinelife133 - Pros and Cons

Proficiency and conduct marks can make or break your Marine Corps career. It decides who gets promoted and who doesn’t. It counts for over 50% of your cutting score. And you know who writes them? It could be my Sergeant, or it could be my SNCO. Most of the time, I have no clue, because no one ever tells me.

Whenever you receive pro/con marks, you’re supposed to receive a counseling. It’s a sheet of paper that says, “These are your pros/cons. These are the reasons why you got them. These are some suggestions to improve them.” Speaking of counselings, you’re supposed to receive monthly counselings and counselings whenever you get pros/cons. In my Marine Corps career, I’ve received only 5 counselings. If you want me to improve myself, what do you want me to do? I don’t know everything!

You may think that it’s my fault, but let me ask you a question. Is it my job to make sure my boss does his? And besides, it’s not like I’m going to die if I don’t receive a counseling. I got shit to do.

I remember my Sergeants constantly hounding the Corporals to make sure that the junior Marines get their counselings. The junior Marines will be taken care off regardless of what the Sergeants do or say, but what about the corporals? As usual, the Sergeants are MIA when it comes to doing routine counselings for Corporals.

Anyways, I digress.

The thing about pros/cons is that it sounds good on paper. You have a boss that oversees you and gives you pros/cons depending on how well you do.

The thing is though, if your boss never bothers to see what you’re doing because he’s a lazy fuck, what the hell is he supposed to give you? And usually, you will be working for lazy fucks who play favorites. So they will give you whatever they feel like giving you. If their vagina hurts that day, they will give you some crappy pros and cons without any counseling or any reason.

I knew a go-to Marine that does nothing but good work. He was a few minutes late one day and got a negative counseling for it. A few weeks later, it was revealed that his lateness, not his hard work, defined his low pros and cons. This is bullshit.

One day, when all the lower-downs received low pros and cons, somewhere in the range of 4.0 – 4.2, I questioned my Staff Sergeant about it since our Sergeant Major and CO told our company how great we were doing.

That comic above is the same conversation I had with him. I could see how uncomfortable he was. He was rubbing the back of his head like it was going to help him think of more bullshit to spew out of his mouth.

He promised us all higher pros and cons later. A few months later, he gives me lower pro/con marks than before and flies off to Okinawa without informing anyone. Fucking fantastic.

All of my SNCOs would swear to everyone that they would go by the book. But few can even cite which Marine Corps Order talks about Pros and Cons. I would ask and they would always “challenge me” to look it up. That MCO is called the Individual Records Administration Manual (IRAM). Don’t go off whatever bullshit the SNCOs make up and throw in your face. Here is the MCO for you to see.

MCO P1070.12K W/Ch1 – IRAM

IRAM-1-Events

 

 

What events rate pros/cons?

 

 

IRAM-2-Conduct

 

 

What makes up “conduct”?

 

 

IRAM-3-Conduct-Table

 

 

Conduct Table

 

 

IRAM-4-Proficiency

 

 

What is “proficiency”?

 

 

IRAM-5-Proficiency-Table

 

 

Proficiency Table

Fleet Marine Life #132 – Forward Deployed

 

2012-02-19-fleetmarinelife132 - Forward DeployedWhen I was finally deployed to Afghanistan, after years of trying, I was excited. I just got to a new unit and they just slapped me on to this detachment after just a few weeks. Awesome, I thought. Little did I know, my higher ups were major-league douchebags. They were more worried about their careers and about everyone looking pretty than actually helping us do our jobs.

In the Corps, functionality is often trumped by appearance.

Shit can be as fucked up as a football bat, but if it sparkles and looks pretty, then apparently, all is well. In Afghanistan, I got bitched at because my uniform was dusty, and my boots were dirty and torn. I’m not sure if my higher ups see this but… Afghanistan is the dustiest fucking place on planet Earth.

Maybe if my higher ups didn’t concern themselves with trivial shit, operations might have run a bit more smoothly. One can dream, right?

I find it highly suspicious that one random guy in the Navy, that I worked near, offered more advice and help to me than all of my Sergeants and Staff NCOs throughout the entire seven month deployment.

My higher ups didn’t know to do their jobs. To hide this deficiency, they went around making stupid shit up and pestering junior Marines about the most garrison-like shit. All in this active war zone.

At one point in the deployment, I thought I had it figured out. I figured our planes didn’t go straight to Afghanistan, but instead, circled around for hours and then landed somewhere in the middle of Nevada. The Generals stuck all of us here and ordered all the SNCOs to play nothing but fuck-fuck games on us to see when someone would suck start our rifle.

Suck starting our rifles since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #131 – The Projects

2012-02-05-fleetmarinelife131 - The Projects

When I was leaving Camp Pendleton, I saw a new barracks being built across the street. There was a sign in front of that area that listed a bunch of details. On it was a picture of what appeared to be a model of a Ritz-Carlton Hotel. Under that was, “Cost : 124 Million.” And these barracks never get completed. If they do get completed, it certainly won’t be on your enlistment!

Meanwhile, our barracks would be rotting itself to hell.

Can’t the bureaucrats just split that money among the current barracks that are falling apart instead of having Marines spend their own money fixing shit that they don’t need to be fixing? My neighbor’s ceiling collapsed because the guy above him had his toilet explode and flood his floor. During that month, everyone’s toilet was exploding.

In Okinawa, my entire company was moved to another barracks next door. Holy shit, that barracks was so fucking disgusting. There was mold everywhere. I mean, that shit would be growing on the ceiling, the floor, the walls, in your refrigerator, in the bathtub, I mean everywhere. One of my Marines thought he had a dead guy in his tub. It was a hard-fought battle, but in the end, we won against the mold. If you see mold, kill it with bleach before it fucks your shit up.

The Most Ghetto Barracks Award goes to:

At war with mold since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #130 – Swim Qual

 

2012-01-29-fleetmarinelife130 - Swim QualI think it’s funny how we’re all supposed to be “amphibious” since we guard boats, but there is a significant amount of Marines who can’t really swim. I know every Marine had to pass boot camp, and in order to pass boot camp, you had to have passed swim qual. I had a guy in my platoon who was prior service Navy, and he couldn’t swim or shoot.

A lot of people who joined the Corps came from cities or from neighborhoods where you never grew up near a pool or an ocean. Every swim qual, I’m always there at the end of the line with a bunch of minorities, and we’re all waiting for some miracle that we’ll all pass swim qual.

During one swim qual, I saw my Staff Sergeant on the diving board. I yelled at him, “You can do it!” He looked down into the deep water. His head shook left and right. There was a pause… and then… he turned around and got of the board. I was confused. He can do that?! At this point, my Sergeant told me it was time for me to leave.

Swim qual doesn’t really matter because it’s doesn’t count toward your promotion. So, people usually do the bare minimum because they can. Fuck it.

Half-assed swimming since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #129 – Sandwich

2012-01-27-fleetmarinelife129 - Sandwich

Military life is tough on marriages. With the man being away for most of the time, the wife is often left alone and driven insane by the loneliness. With both the spouses being away most of the time, this leads to a higher chance of infidelity and divorce.

Here’s a typical story:

The wife cheats on the husband. The husband confronts his wife about it. The wife threatens to take the kids and take everything he’s got. The husband loses his shit and pimp-slaps her. Next thing you know, PMO is over their ass like stink on shit.

Once that ring goes on that woman’s finger, there’s a good chance that she’ll become a different person. I’ve never been married before, but I have heard the same things about marriage over and over again. None of it sounds good at all.

If you want to get married, don’t do it in the military. There is a high chance that you two will be divorced.

http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/2011/12/military-divorce-rate-rises-slightly-2011-121411w/

According to this recent article, the Marine Corps has a divorce rate of 3.6% in 2011. That’s for one year! Imagine the divorce rate in a 4 year period.

Beating spouses since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #128 – Curfew

2012-01-19-fleetmarinelife128 - Curfew

In Okinawa, I’ve always wondered why grown men have to follow a curfew. Okinawa isn’t exactly a dangerous place after midnight. It isn’t like it’s ridden with rapists and criminals who are going to come out of the bushes and harm us. I know cause they’re all Marines!

It’s even more ironic how the grown men, who are treated like children, are the men and women entrusted to guard our nation and handle billions of dollars worth of taxpayer money.

But, of course, the greatest of ideas that spawn from our wonderful, militaristic bureaucracy comes not from necessity but from reaction. I wonder how many alcohol related incidents it took to set off the higher ups to implement this child-like punishment? How many cars had to be flipped? How many houses broken into? How many out-of-town bar fights?

I’ve seen a few Marines go out of town and come back a few minutes late. I’m talking about good Marines that don’t cause any trouble. Who knows why they’re late? Maybe they lost track of time. Maybe they were helping some other fellow Marine get into a taxi. Whatever the case is, these Marines were late by 5-10 minutes and checked in. No one was harmed.

Instead of just letting these Marines go, no mercy is given by the higher ups. I’ve seen Marines get NJP’d for being a minute late! This curfew is childish and only seeks to belittle and punish those who haven’t done anything truly wrong in the first place.

Drinking too much alcohol and flipping private property over since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #127 – Rule One

2012-01-09-fleetmarinelife127 - Rule One

If you don’t want to get fucked over in the Marine Corps, you need to suck miles of dick and kiss an endless amount of ass. I remember my old Staff Sergeant just bowing down to the will of high-ranking enlisted he didn’t even have to please. He pleased them by making us do their work, work we didn’t have to do. These higher ups weren’t even in our section.

Why else would higher ups sell their Marines down the river? To make us look good? No! The higher ups would rather advance their career by pleasing THEIR higher ups at the expense of others.

A Sergeant told me that when you become a Sergeant, it’s nothing but politics. There’s nothing but backstabbing. It’s a game on who can stab who in the back faster in order to reach that next rank. Higher ups only have so much time until they get forcefully kicked out of the Corps. So they will do everything in their power to get promoted like a dying fish out of water. In the end, you don’t have good leaders who can lead, but shitty leaders who only got their job by fucking over other people.

In the Corps, it doesn’t matter how much work you do, because you’re not going to get what you want. If you want something, you need to be buddy-buddies with higher ups. Marine Corps Rule Number One : If you want the dick out of your ass, put it in your mouth.

Getting fucked in the ass since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #126 – No Need To Ask… We Can Already Tell

2012-01-08-fleetmarinelife126 - No Need To Ask

Ok before we get going let me just say right off the bat, that I don’t have a problem with gays (as long as they don’t try to hit on me we’ll have no problems).  In fact, I’m rather supportive of gays, the way I see it, one gay couple frees up two women for me!  So yeah, I’m not trying to do a gay-bashing piece and I hope this doesn’t devolve into one.

Now that that’s out of the way, I want to follow up by saying that this is a true story.  Our hero Steven is basically my roommate and myself rolled into one (maybe not the best choice of words…) and the girl is a civilian friend of ours (who will remain nameless).  She came to our door one night earlier this week with this completely horrified look on her face.  So of course naturally we asked what was wrong and she recounted the story above with some extra details that I didn’t have room for.

What really hit me about this entire experience is, after she was done telling her story, I still found myself waiting for the horrifying part.  She was appalled, shocked, stunned, bewildered, and otherwise freaked out, and I was still waiting for it to get bad.  And then it hit me, we’ve all been around this kind of stuff for so long that we just kind of become accustomed to it and it loses the shock after a while.  We’re used to guys doing the most blatantly homosexual stuff possible, and excusing it simply with “No homo” or “It’s not gay if you’re wearing boot bands” while in reality it’s still gay.

So while she’s sitting there horrified, responding like any normal human being would respond if she discovered her significant other to be homosexual I’m just sitting there thinking “yeah Marines are dumb.”  Eventually after hearing the story for about the 3rd time that night something got through to me and I kind of snapped out of it and realized that the whole situation really was messed up, and then I was just upset that it took me that long to realize just how messed up the whole situation really was and that’s when I decided to do this comic.

Looking back on it, I think this is why the whole “Don’t Ask” policy went away so easily, because the vast majority of the Marine Corps had already been doing that stuff, just now it’s actually ok and condoned by the DoD.  I’m pretty sure that the only reason the Corps wanted to keep it around is because it went with the Marine Corps’ persona of being a bunch of “Alpha males” who “don’t tolerate no homo shit” or some such assorted lunacy.

Let me say again, I don’t have a problem with people being gay, but seriously, either act straight, or own up to being gay.

Safety and Peace

Doing ridiculously homosexual stuff that completely freaks out civilians since 1775!

Fleet Marine Life #125 – The Hill

2012-01-07-fleetmarinelife125 - The Hill

To be awarded the Bronze Star, one does not need to be in combat. Silver Star and above? Sure. But not the Bronze Star.

The military used to hand it out like candy during the Vietnam War to officers.

According to the link below, this medal is: a personal decoration originally intended for valorous service. By the end of the 20th Century it was being given out for many non-combat acts, it even became known as the “officers’ good conduct medal”. The value of the award was deflated so much that a metal “V” device to be worn on the medal’s suspension ribbon was issued to indicate valor.

http://www.answers.com/topic/bronze-star-medal

Today, in order to get a bronze star for combat, you have to do something worth a Silver Star. And to get a silver star, you need to do something worth a Navy Cross.

Today, the US only has 3 living Medal of Honor recipients after almost a decade of fighting in 2 wars.

Nothing but hills since 1775.

Fleet Marine Life #124 – One More Time

2012-01-02-fleetmarinelife124 - One More Time

Happy New Year, everybody!

If you’re still in the Corps, and it’s your first term, please don’t re-enlist. I promise you that you will most likely regret it.

Get out and use your Post 9/11 GI Bill. The post 9/11 GI Bill pays for your tuition, your books, and then it gives you Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH) at the rate of an E-5 with dependents. The BAH is set at that rate and it doesn’t matter if you got out as a Private or a Gunny. What matters is if you got an honorable discharge or not, because if you don’t have it, then you can’t use this wonderful bill.

“This benefit provides up to 36 months of education benefits, generally benefits are payable for 15 years following your release from active duty.” These 36 months of benefits can be broken up and used here and there.

http://www.gibill.va.gov/benefits/post_911_gibill/index.html

The BAH is paid depending on your school’s zip code. Here’s a calculator. Remember, E-5 with dependents regardless of what rank you got out as or if you were married and had kids.

http://www.defensetravel.dod.mil/site/bahCalc.cfm

As a civilian going to school, I get paid more and I don’t have to deal with any stupid bullshit. Uncle Sam got his. You should get yours. If you’re about to re-enlist, think about it. Do you really want to risk your freedom and find out if your next term is going to be better?

Sobbing tears of freedom since 1779.