First Regretted Quitting, Now Glad More Than Ever!

When I first was introduced to the United States Marine Corps in 2010, it was due to some jackass popular football player in my class at the  end of junior year in high school. He was basically trying to get two referrals so can get contract PFC (when he graduated from boot he didn’t get it, thank god). At any rate you got a 16-year-old kid who is about a nerd in high school, doesn’t have the best luck with females, and barely passes most of his classes, and in poor physical shape. With the feeling that I wasn’t going to get far in college, why not talk to the recruiter? To the office I went, and boy. Did I take the bait like a hungry fish that hadn’t eaten for days!!

I was about as a hyped up motard as anyone can describe after that first interview with my recruiter. Being shown uniforms, oversea duty stations, “OMG the superman uniform Dress Blues?! I get to wear that?!!?” “I’ll get to finally be in shape and everyone is going to like me?!?!” hearing stories about how awesome being in Okinawa was, seeing the silent drill platoon photos. It wasn’t hard for the recruiter to nail another number like me in. After this I kept going to PT, getting motivated but the other recruiters that would lead PT with their BS pep talks about being a Marine and how awesome life and how much ladies would want me. I was already thinking and acting like I was going to be something above my friends. After all; what do they do? Go to parties, drink, and all going to college. I’m doing something soooo much better than everyone I know in my social life! This is so awesome I can’t wait!!
However, I was very afraid of bootcamp. I could not ask enough questions about it, “what if I don’t make it, what if I find it too hard? What’s gonna happen can I Fail?” My recruiter of course, kept reassuring me that I won’t fail and that I will make it- just keep going to PT!!
Funny thing now to add is that I had to take the ASVAB 3 times in order to finally qualify, THREE motherflipping times!! I passed on my 3rd, but the point I am trying to make here is if you’re “The Few, The Proud” why in the holy demon’s name do you need a kid who can barely pass the ASVAB?! You would think after second time my recruiter wouldn’t work with me anymore but NO! I was dumb enough to believe that he really wants what’s best for me and that he knows I will do great and be an asset to the Corps which is why he will continue to enlist me. This of course motivated me try harder and really want to be a Marine so badly, my recruiter likes me and wants to see me a successful Marine OORAH! I then continued my motarded self to purchase shirts that said Marines all over it, even telling people I will be the reason why they are able to sleep peacefully at night.
When it was finally time for me to go after I finished high school and shipped to Parris Island, I was already discovered by TD 3. I was always the last one to leave the squadbay, I lose gear all the time, I sucked at drill, and was too damn slow to get dressed!! I don’t think I ever got abused, but I got IT’d probably 9 times in a day every day. I was placed on trial training because I sucked at the obstacle course in addition to everything I mentioned earlier. Following the conclusion of trial training, I failed the MCMAP test (yes I know- who in their right mind fails the dumb MCMAP test?! ME.) so of course, I was recycled from TD 26 to TD 2.

Being recycled was the worst, worst time of my life. Dumping all your stupid gear out, and then showing it to the dumb DI who can’t seem to count how many socks you have, packing it all back up, just for another DI to count it again, dump it out at the BAS, then pack it up, just to DUMP it out again in your new platoon. I was in Golf Company, dropped into Delta Company, and man it was retarded. All my officers kept telling me “This is for you to better yourself; you’ll be ahead of all these other recruits blah blah blah”. Nope, it was more like the opposite; I kept getting singled out each day because I was a pickup, got water and detergent poured into my footlocker because I didn’t get on line fast enough, and everything they did was more of a culture shock to me. I used to be able to at least brush my teeth and breathe in Golf Co., but in Delta the DI would count down the seconds the entire time, every night.

It came neatly to the point, for example, during weapons maintenance (I hated every single second of doing this crap) one DI told me to get up, stop cleaning the weapon, and then go do something else. Of course after this, my rackmate would have to put my weapon back together, then secure to his lock. When this happened, I got ITd and chewed out the next day because I didn’t know how to secure my weapon, and it was at this point TD 35. During one IT session, the same DI stepped on my BCGs, and the next day chewed me out because I was wearing civilian glasses, and I should somehow figure out how to put the BCGs on my face. Now we were at the rifle range and somehow, I just have no idea how, but after I finished shooting there was a live round in my blouse. The caused me to be an integrity violator and in addition to being a “below average performance Recruit” my SDI attempted to get me recycled again.
At this point I had had it with bootcamp. Everything I could do was wrong, I was a pickup I should know this shit, blah blah blah, so when I was faced with my Co. Commander I told him to send me home. He then told me just get it together and you will graduate!! It’s only another week back! They are willing to train you. Nope, that’s it. I’m going home; I’m tired of packing up trash, and dumping it out again. The Co. Commander told me what a shame it was and then finally sent me to RSP. When I finally got back home, I was lost…

There was no welcome home from anyone, nor was there any “I missed you” none of the sort. Everyone I knew was disappointed, and I didn’t blame them. I had all this dumb bravado of being a MARINEE OORAH that people got sick of hearing and for me to not follow through is pathetic. These were my thoughts for about a year later all I did was work a dead-end job again and found little reasons to be successful, not much friends sticking around I was in a very unhappy back home. I decided that I wanted to try again for the military- now in much better physical shape and with more knowledge about the military.

Before this gets much longer than it already is; to sum it up, I enlisted into the Air Force Reserve, and it was unquestionably the best choice I have ever made! I graduated bootcamp as an honor graduate, and continue to enjoy serving as I have a civilian job I enjoy working, while going to school online. I was finally able to put the USMC behind me with no regrets, and when I happened to stop by this website I was so thankful that I didn’t make it! From what I read from various blogs here, the COC in the Corps is way up their ass! In the AF, or at least in my wing everyone in the COC has an open door policy! This goes from the 1st Sgt, to the Squadron Commander, up to the Wing Commander (should be stated that he is now a BGen yet still has an open door to all Airmen). The choice I made to join the USMC was a blind one but I’m glad it is over!

  • N/A

    Same. My best was never good enough and it just fucked me in the head. Funny part is I also thought about trying the AF too but I didn’t want to go through the long grueling process of enlistment and MEPS again. That by itself is pure hell.

  • Marineaks

    This sounds like propaganda to me.

  • Marineaks

    This organization has problems? The most effective fighting force in US history? I think we can give it kudos for it’s successes. It is what it is, and that’s something special. If it has problems, we should all be so lucky.

  • Marineaks

    The Marines will take anybody. That means they are willing to give anybody a chance. The attrition rate for the Marines is about the same as the other branches, but I bet they attract more determined people. I’ve heard many young men express doubts about their ability to make it in the Corps.

    • freeatlastfreeatlast

      You’re doing the same thing that so many Marine hopefuls do, focusing boot camp and ignoring the 4+ years that come after it. While the dropout rate from boot camp may be comparable to other services (I don’t know if it is, I don’t feel like looking that up right now), the first enlistment attrition rate for the USMC is much higher than other branches.

      As you noted, and I agree, the Marine Corps attracts motivated and determined people, most of whom choose the Marine Corps because they see it as the hard choice, a right of passage to manhood, the elite branch of the world’s elite military, etc. I think from personal experience that there are more optimistic hopefuls that join the Marines out of a sense of patriotic altruism than other branches, many of whom attract recruits through promises of job training and bonuses. Why then do so many of these determined young men literally leave in disgust after their first enlistment when compared to the other branches? Why is this branch the only one with a genuine hate site dedicated to it?

      While it may sound strange, the Marine Corps is difficult, but it’s difficult for the wrong reasons. It’s difficult in the wrong ways.

      While it could be difficult to establish and hold to personalized physical training regimens within platoons or squads, that the participants might see results in higher P/CFT scores, you more often than not are treated to a lovely helping of squad pushups, buddy carries, and a six mile shuffle while screaming about a little yellow birdy every morning. Because that’s how the Marine Corps does PT, in sync and to the lowest common denominator.

      While it could be difficult working with firm but fair NCO’s who know their jobs like the backs of their hands, you more often than not are directly supervised by semi-literate rubes who don’t know the difference between metric and standard but can tell you right now how high the female dress shoe heel is authorized to be, or how many steps a burial detail is meant to take from the hearse to the grave. Because those are questions that are asked on a board, and that’s how the Marine Corps finds promotion worthy enlisted.

      It could be difficult to maintain gear to be ready at all times, but you’ll typically be tasked instead to ensure the SL-3 is complete, the record jacket is updated, the serial numbers are cataloged, the history , chips, dings, dents, scratches, the goddamn scuff marks, are all carefully annotated. It doesn’t matter that the fire extinguishers in the SL-3 are empty, the spare batteries are dripping acid, the Jerry cans have half an inch of mud and oil in them, and the gear is held together with 550 cord and prayers. Those problems are not what the inspection looks for, so they don’t exist. All that truly matters is that the unit looks good on paper.

      Then there are things that shouldn’t be difficult, but the Marine Corps just love to make them so.

      Walking from point A to point B? You’re marching in step to cadence while those who outrank you walk behind you laughing at how unfortunate/retarded you are.

      Need to clean you room? You’re going to be at it every week at least once a week for at least five hours. Did you clean it well enough? Well, that depends on the mood of the inspector, and whether or not he wants to spend the weekend at home.

      Spending your weekend not working? You get to listen to someone tell you not to rape, murder, pillage, or plunder the surrounding populace for a while after standing in formation for a few hours. Want to go on a vacation? You’re going to fill out and sign a form that says that you promise not to rape, murder, pillage, or plunder the populace after hearing the same speech. Depending on where you plan to go, you may also promise not to, among other things, swim in jellyfish infested waters, buy/sell/use/traffic drugs, train or sell gear to drug dealers (I’m not kidding), participate in human trafficking, or assault local law enforcement or their families. Why would you have to do this? So there’s a piece of paper to cover the ass of whoever is in charge of you, because, as an officer once analogized so poetically to me, “When a dog shits on your carpet, do you blame the dog, or his master, the one who trained him?”.

      Many Marines have it much worse than these petty grievances, some feel frustrated that after over a decade of friends, limbs, and minds being spent in shit pit locales for semi-coherent and often changing reasons, said shit pits refuse to stop being so damned shitty. I was lucky, I got out with all my fingers and toes and had only one friend die many miles away from me when I was in Afghan. I never really said goodbye to him before separating, and I never saw him again. I didn’t have to listen to him scream and feel worthless like the guys that were with him. What then does our unit do to honor this Marine? Why, throw him a funeral on Leatherneck of course. Who got to stand out in the sun in the middle of the summer at various parade poses while listening to bible verses and speeches made by people who didn’t know him? His friends. Who sat in shaded stands while this funeral went down? A bunch of pretentious officers that couldn’t tell you the first thing about the guy, but oh so honored his memory with their very presence.

      It’s these and many other endless, repetitive, grinding, pointlessly stupid slights to our pride and intelligence that drove so many of us out. Where we expected to find a rite of passage, we found pointlessly endless belittlement. We feel betrayed and lied to, we feel genuine hatred towards that disorganization that asked for so much, took what we gave, chewed us up and spat us out without a second glance. We feel taken advantage of, stepped on, thanklessly abused for no other purpose other than to feed the egos of those who didn’t deserve our respect.

      The question then becomes why do some stay in? Some seemed to like it, these people were typically pretty low achievers before coming into the Marines, and find something there that’s a whole lot better than than where they came from. Speaking again from personal experience, many others stay in because they don’t want to try their luck on the outside, in the “real world”. I heard many arguments like “the economy sucks right now”, “all of life sucks, not just the Marine Corps”, “As soon as you pick up ‘insert next rank here’ you don’t have to do shit, why leave now?”. In truth, it think many senior enlisted and commissioned simply forget how things really are, and see their careers through rose tinted glasses. In the end, I think it’s something like this:

      Things won’t change until these issues come to light and are actually addressed. That’s what being a Marine should mean, finding your flaws and addressing them.

      • S.
        • freeatlastfreeatlast

          Haha, thanks man. Thanks for making this site, it’s really helped.

          • S.

            Oh trust me, making this site was an absolute pleasure. However, all I did was build the foundation and spam gung ho military forums. The rest is all because of people like you writing great comments. All I do is copy pasta them as an “article” and pump through social media.

            Thank you! For a great comment.

  • SemperPi

    No… I’d say you rocked out… The ASVAB is a joke. It takes a special kind of ignorance and lack of mental agility to fail it twice! Dean’s list or not. I’m thinking you underwent this pathetic experience during the plus up of forces 2003-2009ish. Unfortunately they needed people to fill boots and standards were relaxed letting inadequate people through. Sometimes those people failed.. The Corps has problems and the majority of Marines acknowledge them and laugh at them but it’s still a great organization and you know it. I sense a bitterness akin to a spurned lover coming from you towards the Corps. Congratulations on overcoming your ackwardness and the whole being intellectually challenged thing. Celebrating your failures fails to overcome the fact that they were failures.

    • SemperEffOff

      You’re a fluffy one. Are you suggesting that the author should just forever be downed for “rocking out” of the so called elite branch? Let’s put it this way; some people make mistakes, some people make bad choices. Doesn’t change the fact that the Marines needed just anybody, that clearly wasn’t a good fit for it at the time.

      Please share more of how pathetic the writer is for some mistake that god forbid all humans make. You’re troll attempts are looking cute!!

  • fucktheusmc93

    This was my fucking life as well. To a peak. Went to basic on October 15, 2012. Immediately realized how big of a mistake I made by even thinking I could ever make something of myself in that garbage organization. I got dropped once, then finally “graduated” on January 11, 2013. I used quotation marks because, to be honest, I knew in my heart that I didn’t really “earn” anything. I just stood on the parade deck with a fake smile on my face, putting on a facade for my family, taking photos, getting pep talks from my drill instructors. I guess I was just putting on an act so that I could finally just ride in the back seat of my dad’s rental car out of the gate of that hellish place and be on my way back home for 10 days. That was the only thing that I felt accomplished for, seeing my family again for a little while. I just told myself I would find a way to cope with having to go back to camp Pendleton when the time eventually came. I remember the day before I had to leave, I finally broke down in tears in my father’s arms, telling him I didn’t want to go back. But eventually I summoned up the courage and was already on the plane en route to Pendleton before I knew it. Just hoping for the better. I was severely disappointed with my experience. I found out I wasn’t due for training until a month and a half later, and all I could do was sit on the bleachers all day during working hours, then having what liberty we had taken away by a bunch of inept lance corporals in charge of our platoon. I barely lasted 4 weeks in that place before I finally realized I wasn’t really a member of an elite fighting force as I was originally led to believe. I was an inmate in a prison, like just being a marine in and of itself was a crime. One Sunday morning, I didn’t even say a word to anyone. I just snuck away from our squad bay with a backpack filled with only the bare essentials I could fit, then took a taxi to the San Diego Airport. And I didn’t look back. I left my uniform items and everything in a seabag under the broken cot I slept on for the prior 4 weeks. I’ve since been separated with an other than honorable discharge.

    • privategivenofucks

      How did you get separated? I’m In the same boat as you left 5 months ago and haven’t looked back but I still look over my shoulder every now and then

  • FTC1992

    I kept looking at the part where you mention “the 5 major Battles of WWll”. I don’t see Pearl Harbor or D-Day in your list and those are pretty major. I also only count 4 names of battles in your list as well.

  • artymarine

    I agree with you as much as I do marinevet, I’m still enlisted in the marine corps, as a reservist, and yeah, it has a lot of problems. A good buddy of mine in the AF and sometimes I think about what it would of been like if my AF recruitment would of gone through, but I don’t regret joining the Marine Corps. Boot camp was awful, but I made it, and MCT was horrible, but I passed it. Marinevet is right, it’s not for everyone, and I’m not just saying that about those who just didn’t truly want it, reason being, I’ve seen recruits get med-sep’d because of a hairline fracture in or around the same spot as a previous one. I’m glad the writer of this story is successful in his life, as I wish all people to be, but I think discreditng some of the things that make us who we are will anger those many that don’t think about both sides and just scream those 16 words your talking about.

  • kathleen

    ooookay so I’ve been dating this guy for over four months now. BEFORE I START MY STORY. im not looking for advice. just advicing you.

    so I honestly love being with him. he makes me feel hot and special and wanted and honestly his smile lights up my life. my heart still skips a beat whenever I see him. I still get butterflies when he touches me.

    I love him. and he loves me.

    recently he’s been starting to be distant. and it’s fine; I let him have his space. until last month he started talking about wanting to break up.

    I was very upset. I called my friends and I was crying and all that jazz. c

    I went to visit one of my friends, who happens to live near the guy. on my way to her house, I ran into my boyfriend. we sat down and talked for a while. he doesn’t know what he wants. I cried. he said that he wants a break because he feels so much pressure to be good at a relationship. he also wonders if sometimes that he might also be happier single. but then he says hes with me and he laughs and he’s happy and he doesn’t know.

    so towards the end of the conversation I suggested that if a relationship is like a house, and a lightbulb burns out, we don’t burn the house down. we fix the light bulb.

    (prior to this conversation he only saw 2 options- ending it or staying together) he chose ending it, i talked to my friend about it and he gave me a contact email for me to ask for help and i did, in contacted the love doctor and he told me what to do and when i did it, he prayed for me and my biyfriend came back begging me that he was with another woman who did a spell on him that made him leave me annd i should take him back. i had to choice, i had to take him. all thanks to The love doctor who helped me. his email is if you have any problem in your marriage or relationship please do well to contact him he is the best.

  • Cartier2028

    … The Air Force had HUGE battles throughout WWII. The 8th Air Force alone had more casualties than the entire Marine Corps in WWII…