Fleet Marine Life #148 – Lightbulb

2012-05-05-fleetmarinelife148 - Lightbulb

In the USMC, for every action, there is tons of paper work behind it. Reason being is if something goes wrong, the higher ups know who to blame. And usually the higher ups are not to blame.

Let’s say it’s a 96 (vacation). You want to go to a neighboring state for tourism. Whoa, there! No can do! You’ll need to fill out a HARP (Holiday Accident Reduction Program) form before you think about doing stuff like that! Every 96, you need to fill out this form.

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CGsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.marines.mil%2Funit%2Fsafety%2FDocuments%2FHARP.doc&ei=ftClT9fINuiC6AHlkJW6BA&usg=AFQjCNH2a_R5g5CltrYYFkbw8HwdVWpldw(HARP Form Sample)

Open it up and look at it. You have to tell your higher ups where you’re going, what you’re going to do, if you’re going to drink or not, if your car is ok, etc. This is another wonderful reminder that the government owns you. The higher ups do this so they can burn your ass if you decide to go somewhere else all of the sudden and do some stupid shit. The system is designed to burn your ass and not the higher ups!

Anyways, let’s see how many forms are produced in the USMC. Let’s say that there’s roughly 150,000 enlisted active duty folks in the USMC. Assuming that only E-5s and below have to fill out these forms, this number boils down to 125,850 (83.9%). That means there will be 251,700 sheets of paper produced during every 96. After the 96, I’m sure these things are thrown away or left to rot.

Doesn’t this seem like a gigantic waste? Well, there’s alot of things in the USMC that requires paperwork. Even the simplest of things.

http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/marinepromotions/a/marineprom.htm (Enlisted count)

How many Marines does it take to fix a lightbulb?
Ten. 9 to supervise and 1 to fix the lightbulb.


Five. One to stand on top of the chair and hold the lightbulb, three to spin the chair, and one to supervise.

Uncomplicated Shit Made Complicated since 1775.

  • USMCFormer

    Ha Ha HA Ha!!!! This is friggin funny, and so true of what I experienced in the USMC!!