The comic above is a true story. I knew that Navy doc (Corpsman). He looked and talked like the sloth from the Ice Age Movie. He was fairly apathetic toward everyone’s problems.
SSGT : Doc, we need you! This one guy has some shit in his eye.
Doc : Well… What do you want me to do?
SSGT : You’re the fucking doc!
I remember I had this sudden fever one day. I felt dizzy and I could barely walk and my body felt cold. I was scared that I might have Malaria because I never took those weird blue pills that were issued to me. Why? Because the government has a fun history of using US soldiers as guinea pigs.
I tried waking him up to check out my fever. He wouldn’t wake up so I just passed out on the floor next to him in the GP tent. I knew he was pretending to sleep so that he didn’t have to check me out. I woke up still feeling like shit. I stumbled everywhere until I found him. He took my temperature and read the theromometer as 100 degrees Fareinheit. Normal human body temperature is 98.6. He told me to stop being a bitch and gave me some Motrin. Always with the Motrin. I still felt like shit for the rest of the day.
Getting permanent lazy eyes since 1775.