Fleet Marine Life #94 – Checking Out

2011-10-01-fleetmarinelife94 - Checking Out

Checking out of the Marine Corps is the best task one Marine can receive. It is the light at the end of the tunnel. Honestly, the process can take a few days if you’re desperate. However, Marines drag out that process by months. When I was checking out, I was always “at medical” if you catch my drift. I’d get one or two things checked off the check out sheet every week.

When I was checking out of Okinawa, I needed to go to Camp Kinser to check out of my unit. It was raining that day and I had no gortex jacket because I turned it into CIF. The Marine Corps never issued me an All Weather Coat. I couldn’t use an umbrella because I was male. So for that day, I started checking out with my civvies and black rain coat. Some people didn’t care but this one asshole of a Gunnery Sergeant had a problem with it. She didn’t even let me explain why I was in civvies. She said she wasn’t going to sign my paper until I was in cammies.

The next day, I’m back at this bitch’s office to get her stupid signature. She signs the paper and then hands it back to me. I mean, that was it?! It was my last week and you couldn’t have spent 5 seconds of your precious piece of shit time the day before? Instead, I got to waste my fucking time because you just wanted me to see me wear my monkey slave suit.

I was at CIF one day and I tried returning this one piece of gear. The guy refused to take it because it had this stupid dot on it and I’ve never used it. The easiest way to wash CIF gear is to throw it all in the washing machine.

If you lose certain pieces of CIF gear, you’re fucked. The entire sleeping system costs a few hundred dollars. The gortex top and bottoms cost hundreds of dollars. One sapi plate costs like $500. I had this one guy who couldn’t EAS because he was missing one ammo pouch. It wasn’t like he lost the holy grail but to the Marine Corps, it was as if he did.

My buddy gave him his own ammo pouch so that this guy could EAS. This guy couldn’t just hand over a few dollars from his pocket for this one ammo pouch because the USMC doesn’t play that efficiency shit. Instead, he has to fill out a bunch of paper work and go around hunting for signatures. If my buddy didn’t do what he did, this guy would probably still be in the Corps like the drug pops in my old platoon.

When I EAS’d, I was thinking of egging the shit out of my company before I left but the thought occured to me that Junior Marines have to clean it up. So I refrained from doing so with every FIBER OF MY BEING.

Gathering signatures to get the fuck out of the Corps since 1779.