LesterBurnham

I’ll admit that I’m a bit drunk right now, but with my divergent thoughts I think this might be the best moment to truly articulate my opinion about the USMC. I can’t lie right now, the truth is coming right out of my pores. Devil Pups, read and learn. Yesterday officially marked the last day of my 8 year contract, and I am no longer a marine in any sense of the word. I’m not even a former marine. I tell people I was in the military, and no more. Not because I didn’t serve honorably, or do well. I did both. And not because I’m particularly ashamed of the USMC. But because it doesn’t really matter all that much.
Why do you think the Marine Corps attrition rate is so high? Because we breed a nation of weak men who don’t want to serve their country? No. Because the bulk of our young men have enough sense to realize that this is not real patriotism. It’s an overhyped advertisement, and we are the poster boys for America. So they leave ASAP.
I am drunk right now. But I have yet to meet a loyal AND sober marine. Those attributes are mutually exclusive. In fact, I could arrive on any base as drunk as I am right now, and would still have the presence of mind to instantly realize that I was in the presence of a gaggle of overly pious but ineffectual fanatics. They’re all possessed with a strange sort of insanity, a singular but misguided premise that the Marine Corps Manual will conquer all. If they don’t believe this, then they’re not real marines.
The Corps, in its theoretical sense, ain’t all that bad. But in reality, it can be a bonafide nightmare. Young people: there are better ways to demonstrate your love for this country. Would I recommend joining the USMC? Perhaps. I got my GI Bill from it and made some good friends, some of whom I still talk to today. So in this sense, I think I made some progress. But in terms of analogy, you could also visit your local mental institution and make some really neat friends there as well. You just won’t get paid for it.

Submitted by: LesterBurnham