There are many things that are inefficient in the Marine Corps. One of them is the supply system. I don’t understand why it takes so long to receive supplies, that is, if we even receive supplies. I spent $200 in Afghanistan on necessary supplies. I knew my bosses weren’t going to get them, those lazy bastards.
People in supply, get hooked the fucked up! I remember walking in one supply office and everyone’s got their own mahogany wood desk, black executive swiveling leather chairs that roll around, wireless mouses, wireless keyboards, flat screen monitors for their computers, that were all up-to-date and all that shit. I remember one time, supply hooked up all the SNCOs and officers with their own deployment bags, which were freaking nice, and expensive ass watches. Is this really how we spend the tax payer’s money?
Also, in order to get stuff from supply, apparently, you have to know someone in supply. Or you have to know a guy who knows a guy in supply. The normal route is always inefficient so Marines have to go around and use the backdoor. I remember in Afghanistan, I was wearing these really shitty pairs of boots. I figure, we’re in Afghanistan, the sandiest bitch on the planet. My Sergeant demands I go get new boots because I look unprofessional. I tell him that there is no where to get new boots. He says he’ll take me to a guy that knows a guy in supply. So I went off with him and reluctantly took these brand new boots, which I’m sure someone was really waiting for. A few months later, those new boots looked like shit because we’re IN AFGHANISTAN.
One thing higher ups use on their lower downs is something that I like to call the “integrity trap.” This is a trick where higher ups get Marines to incriminate themselves. The higher ups want Marines to admit fault for some wrong doing (harmful or not) now as opposed to finding about it later. The problem with this is that the higher ups may lie or mislead Marines into incriminating themselves. For example:
Douchebag LT : Did you guys go out on liberty without signing the book?
Sgt : I’m going to tell you the truth. Yes, we did.
Douchebag LT : Then I want everyone called back. Tell them all to come back here, get in cammies and stand outside for formation within 2 hours.
True story. I was one of ones in the formation. I followed the rules but I was still punished.
When you do something wrong and you know that there’s no evidence against you then you CANNOT get in trouble. However some people believe the higher ups whenever they say shit like, “We know who did it. Come forward now or else you will be punished extremely.” Well, shit. If they know who did it then why ask? It’s because they don’t know who did it! They’re lying just like they’re lying about “looking out for you.” The higher ups want to cover their ass or maybe they have some sick fetish for getting people in trouble.
However some people don’t know all this and that’s where higher ups step in and guilt you into digging your own grave. They’ll remind you that you’re a Marine and Honor, Courage, Commitment and Marines never lie, cheat or steal (which is the biggest load of crap). And if that’s not enough, they’ll say that you’ll be hammered if you don’t tell the truth and they’ll find out. This may be true but remember, if there’s no evidence, you are free!
Let’s see what happens if that Sergeant didn’t fall for the Lieutenant’s integrity trap.
Douchebag LT : Did you guys go out on liberty without signing the book?
Sgt thinks for a second. If we went out on liberty without signing the book, how can he prove that we even went out at all?
Sgt : No.
Douchebag LT : If you’re lying, we will hammer you!
The Sgt knows that if he reverses his current answer, he will be hammered.
Sgt : I’m not lying.
Douchebag LT : I better not catch you lying to me.
Sgt : You won’t.
Everyone isn’t punished.
I had a PFC that came to the fleet. He was a PFC for the longest time. When I asked him why, he replied, “I got NJP’d for underage drinking.” I asked how he got caught and he replied, “Because I admitted it.” I asked if he could of gotten away with it and he said yes. But he told me that he was compelled to tell the truth as if his life and honor depended on it. The consequence was that he lost his rank, hundreds of dollars and respect. What did he do so wrong? Nothing serious. No one was hurt. Nothing was damaged.
The worst integrity traps that I’ve encountered happened while I was in Afghanistan. A buddy from my platoon was caught with a dead opium plant in his possession. He had to go to several meetings with officers who were to determine if he were to stay in the Marine Corps or not. When the officers asked him whether or not he did drugs, my buddy thought for a second and decided to tell the truth. He said yes. They asked what drugs. He said Ecstasy. When they said how many. He carefully answered one pill. The majority of the officers said that they had no evidence that he actually used drugs in the Marine Corps so they were about to let him go until one Douchebag Lieutenant decided to press things further. Because of that one Lieutenant, my buddy was given an other than honorable discharge a few months before he was about to get out of the Marine Corps.
He lost his GI Bill, his VA Benefits, his disability, everything. Everything taken away because of one sentence. He didn’t harm anyone except maybe himself. But had he lied, he would have been given an honorable discharge. No one would have been mad at him because he served honorably.
In conclusion, if your higher ups ask you if you did something wrong, and you could get away with it, just lie. They’re not there to help you. They’re there to cover their own asses. Telling the truth is not worth losing rank, respect and hundreds of dollars for something so minor.
On a side note, this website has passed 10,000 hits.
Marines aren’t exactly the brightest of people. Sometimes when I’m in a large crowd of Marines, I feel like I’m one of many sheep or lemmings because no one usually knows what the fuck is going on. So we all follow the senior staff NCO who in turn does not know what the fuck is going on but pretends he does.
Counting off is where the group leader needs to make sure he has all of his people so that they can go off to do something (most likely something shitty). It starts off by everyone getting in a box formation, then one Marine would start off by screaming ONE and then the Marine next to him would say TWO and the Marine next to him would yell THREE and so on. Sounds easy, right? Well apparently to Marines, it’s like trying to dismantle the Hadron Particle Collider.
It amuses me how someone could fuck up this simplest of tasks.
Suicides happen in the Marine Corps. What does the Marine Corps do to help prevent it? Powerpoint by death. Frankly, I fucking hate these briefs. It is an epic struggle to stay awake through it. On one presentation, I drank 3 monsters. And afterwards, I felt shittier physically and mentally.
For those higher ups who think that this is the solution, how about asking yourself why Marines commit suicide and then work from there? There are some problems that can’t be solved like, “I want to kill myself because the Marine Corps sucks ass and I have 3 years left on my contract.” Sure the Marine Corps sucks ass but as a higher up, I’m sure you can find ways to lessen that shitty feeling.
Like instead of keeping your Marines working beyond normal working hours because you had your head up your ass, why not improve yourself so that they don’t have to suffer because of YOUR mistakes. Or stop treating your Marines like shit because your vagina hurts or you have a fucking power trip. Your Marines are there to work for you and will do what you tell them to as long as they trust and believe you. The higher ups are supposed to be helping their junior Marines and not themselves but it almost always seems to be the opposite of that.
Getting a briefed on suicide awareness since 1775.
One thing that I won’t miss about the Marine Corps is duty. Duty is when you have to get in uniform and sit behind a desk near your barracks for 24 hours. Your responsibilities are to make sure no one does anything stupid like throw beer bottles out their window and into the parking lot.
If I had duty, I always got stuck with a weekend duty. I felt as if the duty gods cast a curse upon me especially when I got duty on my last week in the Marine Corps. It’s whatever.
Nothing bad usually happens during the weekdays. Usually you hear something about people breaking into Marines’ rooms for CIF gear or their Playstations. Even with duty present, no one ever gets caught but other than that, nothing normally happens. I believe duty is necessary during the weekends because that’s when Marines usually do dumb shit and I don’t think anyone would be sober enough during the weekend to call PMO or 911.
Nothing usually ever happened to me while I was on duty. The only incident that I can remember is when our platoon’s Shitbag Steve was drunk on a Friday and attacked the Duty NCO over something stupid. Then on the next day, everyone in my platoon was punished for it. Good times.
Anyways, I hated it when my unit fucks up the duty roster and then they go crazy to find someone for duty. It’s usually because the person that they assigned to duty isn’t available but they assigned him anyways. God damn disorganization.
Under my platoon’s level, there was an excel spreadsheet that had 30-something boxes (representing days of the month) next to everyone’s name. If someone was doing something on the 5th of that month, then the box under “5” would be filled with APT (Appointment) or DTY (Duty). Once everyone’s future tasks are filled out, you don’t have to ask everyone again for that month! If someone has to do duty in my platoon and the platoon leader isn’t sure if certain Marines are busy or not, he can check that spreadsheet that’s posted on the bulletin board. That way confusion is avoided and he doesn’t assign people who cannot do duty to duty. If you solve a problem but the same thing continues to reoccur every month, then you probably haven’t solved it at all.
I thought suicide watch (aka shadow watch) was a waste of time. If someone wanted to commit suicide for real, he would just do it and not start running around saying how he’s going to do it. If someone in my unit said, “I’M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE,” fellow Marines would normally respond with, “No balls, small penis, spaghetti pubes.”
But in all seriousness, In 2008, the Marine Corps had the second highest suicide rate compared to the other parts of the Armed Forces. It came very close to first place.
There is a simple explanation why Marines do it. The Marine Corps blows complete and total ass. There are many ways they do this and I can’t hope to possibly explain it all.
For one, you are a government slave bound to follow the ridiculous whims of your Officers and Staff NCOs. Some of these tasks will push Marines to borderline suicidal levels. For example, I knew a section that did nothing all morning and afternoon. Just before they were about to be released, their douchebag Warrant Officer would dump a shitload of “high priority” work on them. Of course none of this work was “high priority” and could have been done tomorrow. These Marines had no choice unless they want to lose money and rank.
One negative effect of this is that Marines would have to spend extra time beyond their normal working hours. What remains unseen are Marines not having time to see their families, their loved ones, have fun or even relax. It makes life more stressful.
There are several questions that I want to ask of that Warrant Officer. Why can’t they complete those turnover binders tomorrow and not that night? Why did you dump it on them at the last minute? Who is failing? This is just one example of things higher ups can do that can prevent thoughts of suicide.
A suicide brief is given everytime a Marine kills himself in my unit. Holy crap, they are boring. You sit on your ass for hours while there’s someone who talks on and on about suicide, ways people commit suicide, suicide success rates, why people commit suicide, the works. Is this really the solution?
Instead of asking themselves where do all these problems come from, higher ups just look for solutions. Never once in my Marine Corps career has anyone asked me if I would commit suicide and why.
If you’re thinking about suicide, do what I did. Say to yourself, “Just *insert number of years left in the Marines* more years left.”
On a side note, I added the USMC Hall of Fame section to the “A Few Good Links” section.
In the Marine Corps, you can work as hard as you want but you won’t really go anywhere. You’ll just end up getting more work. In fact, you will be so depended on, your higher ups won’t even let you go anywhere.
Why would your higher ups send you away and lose an asset? Officers and SNCOs wanted to make themselves look good at the expense of doing what is right. So instead of rewarding the good Marines, they would punish them by keeping them in their section.
This happened to a friend of mine named Dan. He was so squared-away, that he would single-handedly bring up his entire section because he did a significant amount of work. They never sent him anywhere but instead, they treated him like shit because they were big time haters.
So, he became sick of their bullshit and eventually turned 180 degrees toward the path of shitbaggery. His higher ups turned him into the platoon janitor. Eventually, they sent him away to the Philippines where he met a Master Gunnery Sergeant. They played golf together and hanged out. Then this conversation took place.
Dan : Hey, can you give me good pros and cons?
MGuns : Sure!
Dan : Thanks, I usually get crappy pros and cons for the work that I do.
MGuns : Who do you work for?
Dan : *tells him*
MGuns : Oh. I hate that faggot.
Throughout the Marine Corps, I have had my suspicions but this single event proved to me, without a shadow of doubt, that in order to succeed in the Marine Corps, you need to know the right people. So it doesn’t matter what you do but more importantly, it’s about who you know.
Unfortunately, the reward and punishment system is fucked up most of the times. I remember we had this Temporary Assigned Duty (TAD) to Las Vegas and they wanted to send this belligerent shitbag, who couldn’t even pass a PFT, just so that they could get rid of this shitbag but the shitbag couldn’t go. If you are in a position of leadership and are wondering if a place is shitty or not, just ask your platoon, “Who wants to go?” If at least one Marine says yes, it’s probably all right. If over half the platoon raises their hands, you know DAMN well to send THOSE volunteers.
Why do you want to send shitbags who don’t want to do anything when there are WILLING Marines? I don’t understand why the selection process has to be random. It’s not like the whole damn process should be so complicated. Just tell everyone to stand in a formation or gather around and start asking a bunch of questions to weed out undesirable Marines.
I worked hard and ended up getting sent to 29 Palms for a month. Another Marine gets caught beating off in the General Population Tent, a trailer, the head, on post and then got caught sleeping on post and ends up being sent to work at the Single Marine Program Area for half a year. My Sergeant asked my platoon, “Who wants to work at the SMP?” and 95% of the people raised their hands. BUT SPANKY GOT IT!
Is this the right way to go about doing business? Good Marines should be treated like limited resources and not something expendable. If the Marine Corps was a business, it wouldn’t even last a year because everyone would quit.
On a side note, I’ve added a few more links in the “A Few Good Links” section. Also, www.ihatetheUSMC.com added me on their links section. Thanks!
The giant paper-collecting spider is always pleased with IPAC’s work.
But on a serious note, I find it disturbing that I could not get one award processed. Putting the humanitarian service medal (HSM) in the system and on your record is not easy or apparently possible. Even though, there was a Marine Administrative message out saying that if you were in a specified place, time, operation doing humanitarian work, you rate the HSM. I had a letter of appreciation (LOA) thanking me for working there in that specific operation.
I thought I could just hand the MARADMIN and my LOA, two pieces of paper, to someone and they could forward that up to higher and they’ll look at it and say to themselves, “Looks good. Give him the HSM.” But no, it ain’t that easy. It’s like trying to put in for the congressional Medal of Honor. In all honesty, it shouldn’t have to be.
What irritates me is the fact that half the team who worked on that humanitarian mission got the HSMs and the other half didn’t. Someone obviously fucked up the paper work and didn’t give a shit afterward. What irritates me even more is that the Staff Sergeant in charge of us got a god damn Navy Achievement Medal (NAM) half a year after the operation. The higher ups take care of higher ups but fail to give a shit about everyone else. Great. Well, fuck you too.
A lot of training we receive is kind of useless. I mean, it’s great and all but for the most part some of these skills just get pushed to the back of our “brain housing group.”
In Marine Combat Training, there’s all these weapons systems you learn about but won’t use any of them. And when the time comes when you have to use them, you don’t remember how to because it’s been like 2 years.
Also, in today’s day and age of “fighting terrorism”, Marines have fought terrorists mainly in Iraq and Afghanistan. So why do we need cold weather training and jungle warfare training? Some people say, “Just in case.” but the reality is that we’ve been fighting this war on desert environments for many years. It’s just a waste of money.
Anyways, it’s out of my pay grade.
Condensing 6 months worth of training in 3 sentences since 1775.
I know what you non-militant folks are thinking about the Marines. “Man! What they do is so hard-core! I could never do something like that!” You’d be surprised. The only hard-core thing I did was hard-core police calling (pick up trash) and hard-core skating (aka “my phone was out of power”).
What you see about the Marines in television, movies and other forms of media is only just a small view of it. There is a 99% chance that You will not do any of that shit. But 100% of Marine recruits believe that they will be that 1%. That leaves 99% of Marines disappointed. Oh well.
One thing that I hated in the Marine Corps is that it doesn’t matter how much work you do. It’s how much IT APPEARS you are doing.
My team would do everything but the SSGT in charge of us, who doesn’t do fucking shit, would APPEAR to do all of it to his superiors. Since he’s a fucked up SSGT, he gave us all low proficiency and low conduct marks (which fucks us all for promotion) and he put himself up for a Navy Achievement medal. The people who actually do work, get nothing. Shafted!
“Perception is reality,” is what my fellow Marines would tell me and it’s true. Fact doesn’t matter. I could run a 300 Physical Fitness Test, shoot 20th award Expert, never get in trouble, single-handedly take out a battalion of enemy Taliban soldiers, be a congressional Medal of Honor recipient but if my hair is 3.1 inches on top, I’ll appear incompetent to higher ups. I mean, really?
A Sergeant told me that I was lazy and he asked me, “Do you know how I know?” and I replied, “No, Sergeant.” This is what he told me, “It’s because your uniform is dirty.”
My uniform was dirty because I WAS FUCKING WORKING but he wasn’t having none of that. He said some shit about being “squared-away 24/7.”
On another note, Osama is dead. I would have figured that President Obama would have kept him alive until somewhere close to re-election time… Oh well.
Some 16 year olds look like 18 year olds and some 18 year olds look like 21 year olds. Sometimes the 16 year olds would look 21! We would be told to look for their IDs so we don’t get in trouble.
Dateline’s to catch a predator is an addicting show. Here are some free episodes thanks to youtube.
Unfortunately, they cut the show because some asshole killed himself thanks to the show. I mean, come on! One less predator in this world isn’t going to hurt anyone! They should be giving Chris Hansen a freaken medal for that! What has gotten into America these days? Whatever, man.
Even though Marines would receive a warning that there are 15 year olds going into clubs with fake IDs, there’s always “that one Marine” who doesn’t really care. The signs are there! There warnings are there! But he just chose to play ignorant. And when he gets caught, it’s brig time for him. Thank you for playing.
Unfortunately, our hero, Joe Jay, was dragged down by Shitbag Steve. I’m sure the Marine Corps Judicial System would give him a fair trial… Hahaha…
One thing I hated was all the ass kissing in the Marine Corps. My fucking Staff Sergeant would volunteer us for everything just so that he can look good. The tasks would be evenly distributed to all the platoons but my douchebag SSGT would volunteer us to take most of the tasks anyways. Of course, he wouldn’t tell us that HE volunteered us for everything. This would put an unnecessary strain on my platoon.
He never did shit and he got the credit for everything my entire team did. I mean, what the shit? How does this work?
Fuck those god damn ass kissers. I fucking hated my SNCOs.
One thing that bothered me was that some of my bosses were illiterate. I mean, this one Sergeant that I used to work with, who was the laziest piece of shit, had this notepad that he left out. One day, I just looked at it and was astonished. Every other letter was capitalized, some words were not spelled right, some words were used incorrectly, the list goes on and on. I knew he was dumb but I didn’t know he was THAT dumb.
I was pissed because he was “in charge of us” even though he didn’t know how to do our jobs. And on top of being in charge of us, he would be commended on the work that my team did. It pissed me off.
I’ll post a picture of one of his witness statements later. It’s hilarious!
The Marine Corps has the Spelling course for Marines and the mandatory Sergeant’s Grammar Course but you can just cheat through those. In fact, since those books are so thick, the most efficient way to get them done is by cheating and that’s exactly what people do.
Do you want to go through 300 pages on shit about where to put your commas or periods? Or would you rather cheat through it, save hours of your time and do something else with those saved hours? I mean, everyone else is cheating that it’s the new norm. No one’s going to “catch you” so there’s no penalty for cheating. Unless, you’re a dumbass Private First Class who does 20 Marine Corps Courses in one day. That raised a red flag and got that bitch into some deep shit.
Someone told me this acronym one day. I started to follow it when I became completely demotivated and never looked back. Once followed, you will win!
I used to be motivated but motivation only takes you so far. It’s not about what you do but it’s about who you know. And I didn’t know my higher ups that well so I had problems throughout my career.
I eventually got sick of it so I just ended up being a hardcore skater. I know that if I’m going to get low pros/cons for no reason, I might as well earn them. I mean, I can’t get fired! There is a right way to SKATE and a wrong way. I’ll talk more about this later. Proficiency and Conduct Marks account for more than 50% of your score to get promoted. And they’re done by your higher ups and they might not like you just because you happen to like a different football team than him.
I mean, shit! My higher ups never did THEIR JOB and supervised me. Because they never supervised me, they don’t know what I did. And because, they never knew what I really did, they had to just give me whatever pro/con marks with no justification.
The only way that I know if I got pro/con marks is if I randomly check Marine Online one day and I’m not even sure which SNCO gave me them. I mean is this right? Are my Staff NCOs are too cowardly to tell me what my pro/con marks are?
The only reason why they don’t supervise me is because they are afraid. They are afraid of me finding out that they don’t know how to do my job! You can’t supervise something that you don’t know. Little does he know, I already know that he doesn’t know how to do my job!
One thing you don’t want to bring when you go out drinking is another Marine. God it’s terrible. A countless number of things can go wrong. It’s too many to list so I’ll turn them into comics in the future.
They had a bar in Okinawa, Japan named, “Globe and Anchor” but Marines called it the the Hook and Jab because so many stupid and drunk Marines fought each other there over something as stupid as the way another drunk Marine looks.
Drunk Marine 1 : I don’t like the way you’re just standing there!
Drunk Marine 2 : Them’s fightin’ words!
Drunk Marine 1 : Let’s fight!
Alcoholism is part of the Marine Corps tradition. And we suffer greatly because of it. A lot of Marines drink and drive 120 mph into the nearest tree. And then the Marines that are still alive in that command all receive a 3 hour long safety stand-down on “how not to drink and then drive your car 120 mph into the nearest tree.” Whenever I receive these briefs, it is a struggle to stay awake. I could have slept for 10 hours yesterday but it’s like some sort of dark magic that these speakers cast on all of us.
The best way to stay awake is by not paying attention. I’ll blankly stare ahead, with my mouth gaping open, and think about how much I want to get the fuck out of the Marine Corps and what I’m going to do out of it.
But why do Marines drink? They drink to escape the shitty reality that they are in. It’s escapism.
I can pretty much imagine what everybody wants to do when they get out of the Marine Corps.
1. Get the fuck away from your current duty station.
2. Burn, sell or lock away your uniforms.
3. Grow out your hair/mustache/beard to your standards.
4. Get more tattoos to your standards.
5. Go to “previously restricted area/country” and do “previously restricted activity” for as long as you’d like or as long as your funds permit.
Those are the main things that I can imagine.
This cycle of Marine recruits coming in and angry Marines going out is continuous and it appears near ending but if the Marine Corps keeps spitting out angry former Marines, you sort of wonder if the higher ups even realize that this is a future problem.
The answer is, it is. If the higher ups took off their rose-colored glasses they would realize it. Eventually, with the Marine Corps being as shitty as it is, people will get out as fast as possible and spread bad word about the Marine Corps.
And this Angry Marine will spread bad word about the Marine Corps for the rest of his natural life.
Now imagine this with many, many angry Marines. The Marine Corps is taking its own dick and shoving it up its own ass by fucking over good Marines and making up stupid rules and regulations. Also, the higher ups that are currently in don’t care about us in general. They say they do but it’s just a bunch of lies and the people below them, the lower-downs, will believe them up until the point when something happens that changes their perspective of those higher ups. It’s usually by witnessing one or many wrong-doings.