Fleet Marine Life #6 – An Idea is Born

[I joined the Marines in 2006. It is 2011 (almost 2012) and I have yet to climb a giant cliff only to confront an fire breathing dragon and a SNCO sword… With that said, enjoy one of the earlier FML comics about some idiot joining the Marines because of a commercial with a bit too much fantasy. ~S_The_Mod]

 

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Now, those who have joined the Marine Corps have been sucked into the idea of this “different world” where you slay dragons while driving your tank with hot women clamoring at your body. But it is the exact opposite. You will not slay dragons. You will not drive tanks. You will not have women clamoring at you and if they are, they are probably men.

What do you do if you don’t get to slay dragons all day and night? Stay awhile and find out.

Slaying dragons since 1775. K.

 

Fleet Marine Life #5 – Dumpster

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A lot of Marines warned me about Camp Lejeune and how it sucks ass. So I avoided it. For the majority of my time, I was in Okinawa. It felt like I was in a kind of USMC funded island prison for the insane. It was called Okitraz. I will discuss this more in future topics.

Police calling since November 10, 1775. K.

Fleet Marine Life #4 – Safety Vehicle

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There’s the US Marine Corps and then there’s the US Army. They both mainly fight on land in today’s modern times. But what is the difference?

The difference is mostly in history and appearance. But that’s just the surface. Internally, the Marine Corps has a much higher standard than that of the US Army and that is why the USMC is better. But why not just raise the standards of the US Army? It’s because they need people.

If you ask the average US citizen which of the two is better, 99% of the time they will say the Marine Corps. The other 1% are probably in the US Army.

As a Marine in the fleet, you start to see some problems. Some standards aren’t held or don’t exist. If you would like to know more about these problems, stay tuned…

Good standards are key. K.

Fleet Marine Life #3 – Take a Bite Out of Crime

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I would be lying to you if I said this never happened. If the Military Police sent their dogs after you and it bit you, you would probably just give up. Not bite the dog back.

In case you don’t know, Marines are dumb. I’m no exception. We all are. Once we sign that contract at the nearest Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS), our brain just takes a vacation. When does your brain come back from vacation? Cpl Person from Generation Kill best says it.

Cpl. Josh Ray Person: You know what happens when you get out of the Marine Corps? You get your brains back.

This guy in the comics is what you refer to as, “That Guy.” The average Marine who is sick and tired of maltreatment in the Corps. He needs an escape from reality and the cheap plane he is steering is named drunkenness and alcohol is his co-pilot. It usually ends in the Marine waking up and realizing that he has created a problem. Mine usually involves me taking 2 hour showers and cleaning up my room for 3 hours on a Monday afternoon.

Alcohol is my co-pilot. K.

Fleet Marine Life #2 – Day 1000

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Usually when a Marine is fresh out of boot camp, he is highly motivated with his high and stupid (high and tight) and full of Oorahs and Semper Fis. Usually this is all he can say at this point. Then it evolves from that to Yut, Yut, Yut to Errrrs and finally to the point where nothing is said because of all the non-evolved Marines who usually say something (e.g Yut and Ers). And if a highly evolved Marine needs to respond, then that response will be an Er and only ONE Er.

Now as time passes, this highly motarded Marine will be withered down to a shell of his once former self. What withers such a Marine down? Well, you’ll have to find out in the future comics.

Cream Corn, K.

Fleet Marine Life #1 – Hello There!

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I’ve started this site thanks to the encouragement of two fellow Marines. Cpl B and Lcpl E.

Fleet Marine Life (FML) will feature the various adventures of many Marines in various Personnel Other than Grunt (POG) jobs. This website is meant to make fun of the things that happen in the US Marine Corps. A lot of things in the Marine Corps don’t make sense and that pisses me off and a lot of other fellow Marines off. This web comic is meant to capitalize off that nonsense to help fellow Marines laugh and reflect off these events.

Right now, my buddy Cpl H is next to me reading my journals. He finds a lot of humor in the nonsense of the events that have occurred to me.

Anyways… I hope you enjoy this site as a lot of my fellow Marines will.

Please check often for frequent updates. Semper Fries, K.

Fleet Marine Life – Characters

Joe Jay – The average US citizen turned US Marine. Likes weed.

Shitbag Steve – A shitty Marine. Always fucking it up for everyone else. NJP Magnet.

The Staff Sergeant – A bitter shell of a man who drives his Marines like slaves and then writes awards for himself. He’s a highly brainwashed, high-and-tight wearing asshole you hope to god never gets put in charge of you or your platoon. Injustice is his middle name and fuck-fuck is the games he plays. His hobbies include fucking junior Marines over and finding ways to advance his career at the expense of others.

A Good Sergeant – He’s always trying to do the right thing… unfortunately, at the expense of his career.

PFC Moto – A highly motivated, fresh out of boot camp Marine. He enjoys saying OORAH and SEMPER FI as much as he loves doing work . Does all the work and never gets acknowledged.

The General – Thousands of Marines must follow the insane whims of this man who wears a shiny silver star on his collar.

The Corpsman (Doc) – Maltreatment is thy middle name.