An Open Letter: Apologies for Field Day

Dear Backbone of the Marine Corps (the ACTUAL one),

I’m going to start by apologizing to you for the behavior of myself and your other NCO’s during Field Day.  While we DO have to make sure your room is clean, we DON’T have to be total cocks about it.  The Marine Corps has a certain set of standards for everything that…well…um…nobody really knows 100% what those standards for dust are…but…uh…standards, devil!

Shit, sorry.  I forgot how to think for myself for a moment.

I’m sorry I pulled your bed, nightstands, and wardrobes away from the wall and made you clean behind them.  I knew Gunny wasn’t going to check back there, but Sgt. Nazi told us we had to keep you up until at least 0200 because you didn’t sound off loud enough last Monday during PT.

I’m sorry I stuck my greasy finger on your mirror while pointing out the salt-grain-sized spot in the corner and smudged it all the way across.  That, admittedly, was a dick move.

I’m sorry I swiped my finger along that little crack where the back of the toilet meets the floor.  Not only was that completely unnecessary, I’m pretty sure that’s how I got Hepatitis.

I’m sorry I opened your unsecured wall locker, threatened to steal all of your shit, then telling you that you are the reason that there are thieves in the Marine Corps.  To be completely honest, there are thieves in the Marine Corps because we have a legacy of stealing shit and calling it “acquiring.”

I’m sorry I tossed that little bit of dirt I palmed under your shoe display and failed you for it.  Staff Sergeant Reprisal showed me that one.

I’m sorry I made you all stand out in formation for thirty-seven minutes while the other NCO’s and I stood around bullshitting about who we were going to fail, why, and what for.  I know you could have used that time to work on your room, even though it would have failed anyways because Top doesn’t want any of you to get in trouble this weekend while he’s the SDO.

I’m sorry I kept you up until 0330 when you had driver duty the next day.  I know how much it sucks to have to drive the SDO, OOD, and Bn Admin guys around all day and night on three hours of sleep, and I know the Order states that drivers must be permitted to sleep for 8 hours prior to duty to keep them from falling asleep behind the wheel and killing someone, but you fell out of that run a few weeks ago and Sgt Motard thinks this will help you become a better Marine.  Also, I apologize for chewing your ass for disrespect and talking back then threatening you with NJP when you politely reminded me that you had duty.

I’m sorry I got drunk and kicked your door in a couple of hours after I told you you could sleep.  That…there is no explanation for that.  Sorry.

I’m sorry I let Sgt Bumblefuck snatch you up for that working party.  Had I known the acidic substance he chose to use to attempt cleaning the sidewalks would only make a bigger, permanent mess, I would have acquired the keys to the haz-mat locker before he could get his stupid, fat fingers on them.

I’m sorry I volunteered you for morning cleanup last week.  I thought I heard you whisper something in formation, turns out it was Cpl Fucktard!

I’m sorry I yelled, “and none of you better have a fucked up shoe display like Lcpl (totally your name dude) here!”  That was totally pointless, your shoe display was actually quite lovely, devil nuts.

I’m sorry I inspected your room while drinking a beer.  I forgot we told you guys you couldn’t drink during Field Day.

Lastly, I would like to apologize for the following, less specific offenses:

Playing lookout for Sgt Spartan while he hazed you and your roommate.
Making you field day knowing full well that Gunny told us this week was general cleanup with no inspection.
Failing you for “dust.”  Look at it as your introduction to Article 134.
Tracking dirt, mud, and rocks into your room from my boots then chewing your ass for it.
Farting in your freshly Febreze-bombed hamster cage of a room right before Sgt Sillypants came through to inspect.
Terrorizing your sleeping roommate.  I know he’s TAD and hates you for what we do.
Fucking with you the night before you went on leave.
Fucking with you the night before 72’s and 96’s.
Fucking with you in general.  It isn’t nice, and we don’t have to do it.

In closing, I would like to apologize to all future Marines that have to deal with shit head NCO’s on Field Day.  Maybe someday we can all band together and make Field Day a not-so-shitty experience for all Marines.

Love (in a begrudging, hateful way),

Your NCO, 1369, USMC

Submitted by: AAVPOG

Dear SSgt

Dear SSgt,
I can only imagine how angry you must feel, I mean, to dedicate your life to such dumb bullshit and find yourself amongst men and women that wear the same uniform and yet still see through the crap. You just can’t stand that we’re not as institutionalized as you, that unlike you we all here either got out or have enough balls to get out. You however will never be anything,you will never have the balls to get out and fight it out in the real world. You say we have no pride, well we do, we dont wear it on our collar’s like you and it doesn’t depend on a billet or whatever bullshit role playing crap your’e into, even if I was a private I’d be proud to be the person I am not because of the Corps but because Im an individual that retained my identity. I don’t go around yutting and oorah’ing and I dont feel like I need to yell at people to feel important. Im a person, that does not truly NEED this institution like YOU do. Why do we choose to get out? It’s not because we’re weak and unpatriotic, its because the weight and burden we carry on us all day is not that of defending our homeland. Our burden is the fuck-fuck games, the belittlements, the insults, the dumb shit done not in the name of America, but to satisfy some assholes ego, so some prick like you can feel important, because after all, your dumbass actually feels we owe you something…we don’t, not a goddamn thing. You’re a fucking nobody without this institution, without your rank, without your billet, without this stupid little roleplaying game you take so seriously. Ask yourself where your life has gone? Between the deployments and the bullshit I can tell just how bitter you are at people like us, but maybe, just maybe, YOU should get out, see the I know that you after being baby sat by Uncle Sam for so long are deathly terrified of a world outside the Corps which is why like a caged animal you strike at anything that threatens your little cage, but there is a world out there, full of hardships, trials, tribulations, joys and ultimately a more satisfying life, a life worth experiencing. So instead of bitching here at random people that don’t really give a fuck about your opinion, grow a pair, let you EAS date pass without running to the career specialist to save you from the big bad civilian world, break your little box…..and get the fuck out of the corps.

Awesome Vet’s Message to a Master Guns

This was written by K (Owner of in response to a post a Master Guns wrote trolling on my website.  Thanks K.


MGuns, I just want to say that I will never ever re-enlist in the Marine Corps even if my life depended on it. The Marine Corps is the most inefficient, disorganized, unnecessary, bureaucratic organization run by a bunch of self-serving, arrogant, masochist, egotistical, hypocritical, retarded, ignorant, racist, power-hungry fascist assholes such as yourself. As a free man, I wake up everyday knowing that I’m not oppressed by someone who is so insecure about themselves that they have a need to fill some sick masochist urge to belittle, insult, degrade and even dehumanize those that they were sworn to serve. As a Staff NCO, you should know better than to use your own junior Marines purely for your own self gratification.

Now, you are here on a website created by the hatred of a former Marine who was used, abused and misused. His hatred and disgust of the current state of the Marine Corps was so deep and so vast that he was compelled to create a website venting his anger toward the organization which he once admired so much that he would give his life for it.

Now, you are here insulting us and calling us “whiners” and “pussies.” To be honest, you’re probably one of those Staff NCOs that don’t know what he’s doing. The kind that has never deployed but instead would rather work the system so that he’s in the rear doing the easy shit, out of harm’s way and in the comfort of the amenities of America. The kind that would yell at his juniors when asked a simple question for fear of revealing to them that he is incompetent. The kind that would put himself and his buddies first than his junior Marines. The kind that would punish his junior Marines because a good job wasn’t a good job because you didn’t get an award. The kind that would hold down good Marines just because you felt like it. The kind that would sleep with his junior Marines just because you could. The kind that would bow down to the insane orders of his superiors. The kind that would keep doing the wrong thing over and over again with the belief that you’re right. The kind who runs a “paper” PFT because passing a PFT is beyond one’s grasp. The kind who is overweight yet feels that he is in the right to correct other fat Marines.

Your “dedication of the mission” probably consists of you sitting on your ass all day, watching television in your office, going on youtube while you bark out nonsensical orders. You’re the kind of Staff NCO that would work his men like slaves so that you can chase some stupid medal to advance your career. Your men do all the work and you get all the credit.

You’re the kind of Staff NCO that would rather spend his time insulting us former disgruntled Marines, that you have helped to create, than to actually fix the problems that create disgruntled Marines. I bet this is one of the many ways you get your “masochist fix.” I bet after you retire, you’ll linger around the local PX to yell at current Marines. You won’t know anything outside of the Marine Corps because you’ll be too old and too stupid to know anything else.

Your men probably don’t respect you. Most likely, they secretly hate you but you are so full of yourself that you would believe that your Marines are “in awe” of you. If you were dying, they would unanimously agree to leave you to die and then tell the higher ups that there was nothing anyone can do.

If I was in the Marine Corps for another term, I probably wouldn’t be able to take it. All the injustices, all the immorality, all the selfishness, all the backstabbing, all the stupidity, all the inefficiency, all the arrogance, the list goes on and on. I told myself that I don’t need to take all this suffering. I can do better than this and with that idea, I got out honorably. For those still in the Marine Corps and want to get out, my hat goes off to you. It’s a hard journey but the light at the end of the tunnel is there and it is called the Post 9/11 GI Bill. You just have to walk toward it one day at a time.

I want you to know that I am glad that I am no longer part of this disorganization. The day I held my DD214, my eyes watered up. I knew that I was now a free man. Free to speak, free from stupid rules, free from oppression, free to be, free free FREE!!! So free that I can finally say what has always been on my mind… FUCK YOU MASTER GUNS!