Fleet Marine Life #42 – Suicide Watch

2011-05-26-fleetmarinelife42 - Suicide Watch


I thought suicide watch (aka shadow watch) was a waste of time. If someone wanted to commit suicide for real, he would just do it and not start running around saying how he’s going to do it. If someone in my unit said, “I’M GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE,” fellow Marines would normally respond with, “No balls, small penis, spaghetti pubes.”

But in all seriousness, In 2008, the Marine Corps had the second highest suicide rate compared to the other parts of the Armed Forces. It came very close to first place.


After combat, it is one of the top killer of Marines. In 2009, 52 Marines killed themselves.


There is a simple explanation why Marines do it. The Marine Corps blows complete and total ass. There are many ways they do this and I can’t hope to possibly explain it all.

For one, you are a government slave bound to follow the ridiculous whims of your Officers and Staff NCOs. Some of these tasks will push Marines to borderline suicidal levels. For example, I knew a section that did nothing all morning and afternoon. Just before they were about to be released, their douchebag Warrant Officer would dump a shitload of “high priority” work on them. Of course none of this work was “high priority” and could have been done tomorrow. These Marines had no choice unless they want to lose money and rank.

One negative effect of this is that Marines would have to spend extra time beyond their normal working hours. What remains unseen are Marines not having time to see their families, their loved ones, have fun or even relax. It makes life more stressful.

There are several questions that I want to ask of that Warrant Officer. Why can’t they complete those turnover binders tomorrow and not that night? Why did you dump it on them at the last minute? Who is failing? This is just one example of things higher ups can do that can prevent thoughts of suicide.

A suicide brief is given everytime a Marine kills himself in my unit. Holy crap, they are boring. You sit on your ass for hours while there’s someone who talks on and on about suicide, ways people commit suicide, suicide success rates, why people commit suicide, the works. Is this really the solution?

Instead of asking themselves where do all these problems come from, higher ups just look for solutions. Never once in my Marine Corps career has anyone asked me if I would commit suicide and why.

If you’re thinking about suicide, do what I did. Say to yourself, “Just *insert number of years left in the Marines* more years left.”

On a side note, I added the USMC Hall of Fame section to the “A Few Good Links” section.

Watching shadows since 1775.

  • anonymous

    I almost committed suicide at MCRD because I joined the fight between when Iraq supposedly had WMDs and when those WMDs were *entirely fucking absent*. I realized that the war in Iraq was unjustified, and I didn’t want to kill any civilians who might have been caught up in an unjust war. The mere prospect of killing a non-threatening civilian who lived in a country that wasn’t even a threat to the US was enough to push me close to the edge.

    Being forced by contract to participate in such a war made suicide seem more moral than sticking it out and trying to shoot above the heads of those who I deemed innocent from afar. Fuck. Dark time in my life.

    End result: ELS’d.

    I suppose it was for the best.

    (The ELS has never affected me in any way, btw. I recommend the route for those of you who have moral qualms with what you’re doing.)

    • FloridaJake

      man that’s deep. I’m happy I found this site. bottom line, i felt like a worthless pathetic piece of shit for taking part in possibly killing innocent civilians. I saw too much over there that I will never forget. I saw the dead bloated bodies of children! After this day I stopped believing in God, I lost faith in my country, I lost my faith in myself and my fellow man. I attempted suicide several times. But my girlfriend at the time (now wife) really got me through it and also she is expecting my baby and I want to make sure this world is a better place for her or him than what I made it. For some reason, I am still here but I want to say that many times suicide is more moral than being in the marines but if you are sill around, make it your mission to educate others about what you went through like on this site. THis war and all other wars before it waged by the US are unjustified wars. Congratulations for getting out of there in the neck of time By Any Means necessary! fuck the marines!