Fleet Marine Life #50 – Welfare Marine

2011-06-16-fleetmarinelife50 - Welfare Marine

This story is true. I can’t make it up. I knew the guy personally and now him and I mutually hate each other. I knew him as a Welfare Marine. A welfare Marine is a type of Marine who is usually fat, doesn’t do anything important, has a million excuses and a million medical appointments for a million things for a million people.

The shitbag I knew was an active deployment dodger. He was so good at working the system that in the course of 8 years, he was able to dodge deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan even though the Marine Corps was in a state of constant warfare. These “Marines” will be put on a deployment platoon and just when there’s a month left, they somehow break their back, or foot or leg and then they cannot deploy. Usually the higher ups in charge of these Marines won’t have time to deal with this Mickey Mouse shit. So they don’t. On the next deployment platoon, these welfare Marines run their little game over and over again.

These “Marines” stay in the rear doing easy shit collecting a nice fat government paycheck for being broken and on indefinite light duty. Have they no shame?!

Now I know a few first term Marines that don’t get to go to Iraq or Afghanistan but they weren’t actively dodging deployments. They would usually get “voluntold” to do some boring shit for months. Usually the higher ups would have no one looking to replace them even though these Marines though they did. If you want to deploy, you have to bitch and moan constantly.

Anyways, those shitbags take up valuable resources like money, time and space. These leeches are milking the system. While good Marines go off to work like slaves in these shit hole countries, these bitches stay back in America eating In-N-Out burgers, which are amazing, hanging out with their friends and families, and leading cushy lives in the rear. All of this while calling themselves Marines. This is fucking sick.

We can’t kick them out because the Marine Corps isn’t like a business. In a business, if you work like shit, you’d get fired. In the Marine Corps, you can’t get fired! You can get kicked out but it is difficult due to the inefficient bureaucracy that is the Corps. So since, you can’t get fired, the only thing that happens are ass chewings and paperwork. But even those don’t happen because the people in charge of these Welfare Marines are Welfare Leaders. The welfare Leaders can’t correct themselves when they themselves have the same problem.

Usually the most common example is a fat Sergeant trying to correct a fat Corporal for not correcting a fat Lance Corporal. A fat Sergeant has to correct himself before correcting fat people. Usually that fat Sergeant would declare the task “too difficult” and remain fat. The consequence is that his junior Marines stop caring about being fat.

Generally, leadership would rather choose anyone as opposed to the welfare Marine who gives constant excuses. That “anyone” is usually people like me. I couldn’t do anything but complain to my Sergeants who were welfare Leaders.

Dodging deployments since 1775.