How To Be A “GOOD” Marine

One thing that I always hated about the USMC, was that instead of actually trying to be good, they instead try to look like they’re good.

See, in the Marine Corps, it’s a dog and pony show. Looking like you know your shit is better than actually knowing your shit. That’s why uniforms matter so much and perfect uniforms determine how good you are. Nevermind the fact that you have to spend a long time in the field actually doing shit. Being a Marine training, shooting, war fighting makes you a good Marine right? Pfffft of course not, those Infantry guys have dirty uniforms and even put their hands in their pockets, those fucking shitbags!

Another example of this is small, but still a good one: When they make you clean shit. Rather than using disinfectant to you know, clean shit and kill germs, they want you to use your breath to remove the smudge so that way the surface LOOKS clean, rather than actually being clean. Nevermind the fact that you used your nasty ass morning breath that could contaminate the surface and make everyone else sick. That doesn’t matter.

So remember everyone, being a good Marine means looking like you’re a good Marine. Don’t worry about actually being a good Marine, just look good and you’ll be fine. Oh, and don’t put your hands in your pockets you shitbag. If a civilian or someone of another branch sees that, they’ll think less of us (even though they won’t).

Remember being in the USMC means you’re also an attention whore and you need to worry about what others might think. After all, the USMC loves dog and pony shows.


Submitted By: Martinez