How to Determine if you are Fit for the Marine Corps

Step one:
Purchase a 12oz. ball-peen hammer, and label it “jarhead calibration device”.

Step two:
Hit yourself in the head with three times with the hammer.

Step three:
Ask yourself if you still want back in.

If yes, repeat step two.

If no, place hammer in a drawer, and wait until you feel the urge to go back in, then repeat this procedure. When 30 days have passed between treatments, you may consider yourself cured.

If you still determine that more treatments are needed, the size of the hammer may be increased, or the number of strikes with each treatment, but I recommend against doing both except in extreme cases.

  • brotherhood1969

    my son did 2 years in loved it until he beat the team leader in some physical aspects.Big mistake from there on it was like being Rudolph the rednose reindeer and that guy mentally broke him down to the point were he did not think these guys would have his back(really felt they would leave him for dead) im talking makin him do stuff people under should do-knife to the throat-u think your better than me bullshit-etc and whatever he doesn’t talk about. I told him to say something and his response was my opinion doesn’t matter.So he went to the physcologist and was later discharged with general under honorable.Sucks these kids join what is suppose to be a brotherhood and one guy ruins it all..some need to be a leader not a hater..My question is how do I get his stutus upgraded to honorable so his schooling will be paid for.He was never a problem did what he was told and physically outperformed most..

    • fukthmarines

      Don’t have an answer to your question, but your son’s situation reminded me so much of the pathetically immature and tyrannical ‘Team leaders’ I saw in 2nd Bat 3rd Marines. Some of the team leaders were Cpls- most were just ‘senior Lance Corporals’ who only had a little over two years in the USMC , and were just IMMATURE LITTLE PUNKS who had an overinflated view of their own importance.
      When you put certain young punks like that in a position of some power THEY WILL ABUSE IT.- ie play stupid and unnecessary games with their lower junior enlisted to show ‘whose boss!’ Its hard to have type of respect for people like that if their only claim to experience is say, one deployment to Okinawa.
      Not surprising that they tried to destroy your son because he showed that he was as good as they were- and that a rank and a title is not the defining factor in someone’s worth.
      I’d say to any father- don’t let your son join the USMC, unless the kid enjoys being treated like dirt for four years just to satisfy someone else’s ego.

    • freeatlastfreeatlast
  • Ron02

    I was Army infantry. But I can relate of course. The military overall is not for people who actually have intelligence. Rather for mentally defective subhumans. The few exceptions being highly technical MOSs – but even then, in many cases are inferior to counterparts in the civilian world. In my infantry unit I observed about 5 other people in my platoon who were NOT degenerates of some kind. They were just like me – intelligent people who fell into this trap because of youthful naivete.
    Furthermore, I have met veterans from other countries and did serious research on them. Truth be told, fuck all militaries.

    • Sgt

      Most of the intelligent Army infantry guys do the following:
      1. Go Airborne
      2. Go Ranger
      3. SF
      and or
      4. Delta

      • x1sfg

        Smart Marines do the same and make the jump to Group or JSOC