How to Determine if you are Fit for the Marine Corps

Step one:
Purchase a 12oz. ball-peen hammer, and label it “jarhead calibration device”.

Step two:
Hit yourself in the head with three times with the hammer.

Step three:
Ask yourself if you still want back in.

If yes, repeat step two.

If no, place hammer in a drawer, and wait until you feel the urge to go back in, then repeat this procedure. When 30 days have passed between treatments, you may consider yourself cured.

If you still determine that more treatments are needed, the size of the hammer may be increased, or the number of strikes with each treatment, but I recommend against doing both except in extreme cases.