Fleet Marine Life #30 – Janitor

2011-04-25-fleetmarinelife30 - Janitor

Recently, I’ve been half assing these comics. I know what you may be thinking. How do you half ass a bunch of half-assed comics? Wouldn’t you be quarter-assing then? Color me quarter-assed then.

I’m moving around so bear with me.

Anyways, if this didn’t make you laugh then you’re probably a Staff NCO or officer in which case, I don’t like you already.

Never in my life have I cleaned as hard and as long as I have in the Marine Corps. Let’s break it down for ya’ll.

One Field day every Thursday.
Clean your platoon’s assigned area. 60 minutes.
Clean your room from 1700 – 2130. 270 minutes
Friday Morning Clean Up – 15 minutes.
Standing outside your room to wait to get inspected – 15 minutes.
At least 360 minutes per field day

Now assuming you signed a 4 year contract and have spent:
3 months in boot camp.
2 months in the school house.
7 months deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan.
6 months TAD or deployed again.
4 months of leave

This leaves you with 26 months in the rear with the gear. Which means roughly 112 weeks.

So that means you would have done 112 field days wasting 40,320 minutes cleaning. Or you could say 672 hours or 28 days worth of cleaning.

To put this in perspective:
An enlistment is roughly 35,040 hours long. You would have spent 1.91% of your enlistment cleaning.

If you slept 8 hours a day for 4 years. That would have meant you slept for 11,680 hours total. That is a 33.33% of your enlistment.

So really, you’re active 66% of the time. 1.91% of your enlistment is equal to 2.89% of your active time.

Also, in the rear, you do nothing. Literally nothing. You sit in a classroom until the clock’s hands fall on top of certain numbers and only then can you leave.

So you go to work at 0800 and sit there until 1100. You come back to chow at 1300 and leave at 1630.

This wastes 6 and half hours a day or 390 minutes. This per day for 5 days a week for 112 weeks equals 218,400 minutes, or 3,640 hours, wasted doing nothing

This is 12.06% of your enlistment. Sitting.

Also, assuming you have 2 weekends every week for 112 weeks, that equals 5,376 hours. Minus the 8 hours of sleep. That now equals 3,584 hours.

So to summarize an average first term Marine’s enlistment:
1.91% Cleaning in the rear.
4.16% School house for 2 months.
6.25% Boot camp.
8.33% On vacation leave.
10.38% Sitting doing nothing in the rear.
15.34% Weekends in the rear.
26.55% Misc.
27.08% 13 months deployed or doing something.

On a side note: 33.33% Sleeping probably more if you skate.

Cleaning for 1.91% of their enlistment since 1775.

– K