Battle Stations 21 Training So Realistic, Recruits Diagnosed With PTSD [satire]

GREAT LAKES, IL – Here at the “Quarterdeck of the Navy,” where deranged, sadistic Recruit Division Commanders (RDCs) turn civilians into sailors, the psychiatric ward of Naval Hospital Great Lakes is filled to maximum capacity with PTSD patients. But these are not salty combat veterans; they are raw recruits whose minds have been shattered by the unimaginable horrors of simulated warfare.

“I thought I’d seen it all, but this is worse than anything we’ve ever dealt with before,” said Hospital Corpsman 1st Class Mike Hunt, Leading Petty Officer for an elite rapid-response counseling detachment deployed overnight to manage the crisis. “Christ, they’re just kids.” Hunt’s hands shook as he sipped his coffee. “I blame that, that thing in Building 7260. It’s a monster.”

Building 7260 is home port for the USS Trayer (BST-21), often referred to as the “unluckiest ship in the Navy” because it gets attacked every week. The Trayer is a high-tech combat simulator that is the cornerstone of Battle Stations, the final training evolution in boot camp. Recruits must pass this grueling test of physical and mental endurance if they want to earn the coveted title of United States sailor and piss away the next four years of their lives sacrificing their health and sanity performing menial labor for shitty pay. No expense was spared to make the bogus sea battle seem as authentic as possible. Division Officer Lt. Dan Levinson gave a stirring speech and recited the Navy’s core values. The recruits of Division 263 responded with a spirited cry of “Hoo-yah!” When the booters crossed the brow and boarded the Trayer, none of them realized they were about to experience, as one recruit put it, “twelve hours of hell inside a crack pipe. You feeling me, brah?”

After heavy sedation, the few survivors who could still speak in coherent sentences told their harrowing tale.

“It was like, totally graphic,” said Seaman Recruit Mandi Covington. “Those casualty dummies were all covered in fake blood and guts. I had to help carry this stretcher. It was ultra heavy. Seriously! My arms are still sore.”

“It was all good when we pretended to get underway,” said Seaman Recruit Luis Garcia while sipping a Thorazine smoothie, his eyes like black holes. “I was standing watch on the bridge, and shit, when all of a sudden we got broadsided by a phony missile. I could feel the deck shaking under my feet. Yo, I bet those subwoofers would really rattle the windows in my Impala.”

Seaman Recruit Jamal Thibodeaux could barely speak, his lungs scarred by artificial smoke inhalation. “I couldn’t see shit through all the smoke, dog,” he gasped. “That compartment hatch was hotter than a motherfucker. After my face mask fogged up and I got separated from the rest of my team, I thought I was tits up. Know what I’m saying? Thank God the instructors medevaced me ASAP.”

Seaman Recruit Tony Santoro gripped the arms of his chair, his knuckles white, and shivered. “Dude! I had to hump practice rounds out of a burning ammo magazine. I just knew those inert 5-inch shells were gonna cook off in my hands. I was scared shitless.”

Despite hourly tranquilizer injections, Seaman Recruit Amber Chang still had the thousand-yard stare. “I was running all over the place with my sea bag strapped on my back,” she said. “We didn’t sleep all night. I slipped on the obstacle course and skinned my knee. Shit hurt.”

One recruit from the Damage Control party remained catatonic after sliding off a bulkhead brace in a flooded machinery space. He was submerged for three terrifying seconds before an instructor pulled him to safety and immediately rendered first aid.

Gunner’s Mate 1st Class Kenny Grindstaff, Division 263 RDC, said, “They’re just butt-hurt on account of sleep deprivation. Kids today are such pussies. If we don’t toughen ’em up now, what the fuck’s gonna happen when they hit the Fleet and some sea dog starts tearing ’em a new asshole for putting their hands in their pockets? They’ll wish they had stress cards then, I shit you not.”

Cpt. John Dye, Commanding Officer of Recruit Training Command Great Lakes, dismissed allegations the evolution was too intense. “It’s designed to be tough,” he said. “The Navy’s no place for chickenshits. In boot camp we have to cull the strong from the weak. Or something.”

Although their military careers were over before they had even begun, the recruits of Division 263 have been assured they all qualified for medical separations and disability pay. Most of them cheered and slapped palms, but a few were distraught by the news.

“Kinda sucks I’ve only been in the Navy for like, two months, and I’m already getting discharged, you know?” said Covington, brushing away a tear. “But at least I can hold my head high when I tell people I served my country with honor, and stuff. Am I right?”

MCRD SD IT Card

Updated as of Febuary 2011

 

MCRD 6200/1 EG (Rev. 02-11)

INCENTIVE TRAINING

Incentive Training (IT) provides drill instructors a tool to motivate and to instill discipline.  Incentive training helps correct minor infractions.  Serious disciplinary infractions, however, will be referred to the Series Officer.  Only Drill Instructors may assign IT to recruits.

1. Restrictions

  • Incentive Training may be administered by the recruit’s platoon Drill Instructor beginning on F-3, provided that the recruit has:
  1. Passed a medical evaluation and
  2. been allowed one night’s rest to recover from inoculations.
  • Only SDI’s may conduct IT for the entire platoon.  DI’s may administer IT for individuals and for small groups not to exceed 10 recruits.  This requirement will not be circumvented by giving IT to a large group “10 at a time”, nor by several DI’s simultaneously conducting IT for several small groups.  Only a recruit’s platoon Drill Instructor may administer IT except during week 8 when a duty Drill Instructor may assign Incentive Training to recruits under his charge.  IT will never be assigned to a unit as a result of one recruit’s actions.  A DI conducting IT will have a readable copy of this card in his possession and an operating watch which delineates seconds in his hand.
  • At least 3 different exercises will be used during the IT session.  All exercises are 4 count exercises, with the exception of rifle extensions and stationary double time.  The recruit will attempt to perform the maximum number of repetitions.  Only 1 IT session may be conducted in any 1 hour period. Exercises will be done at quick time cadence.  When transitioning from the stationary double time position to the push up position, recruits will not jump or fall to the pushup position.
  • With the exception of drill periods, IT will not interfere with other scheduled training.
  • Incentive Training may be administered on the platoon’s own quarterdeck to no more than 10 recruits at any one time.
  • Incentive Training will not be performed under the following conditions:
  1. While in a medically restricted status.
  2. 30 minutes prior to meals, haircuts, or scheduled physical training or 60 minutes following the completion of meals.
  3. 60 minutes prior to, or until a shower is taken after, CS Gas practical application.
  4. On the parade deck, Shepherd Field.
  5. In soggy or watered down areas or terrain that is hazardous for this training (gravel, hills, brush, etc.).
  6. In confined spaces where a recruit might injure himself (closets, heads, showers, DI duty hut, or passageways).
  7. In any location or environment, which is unsafe and could possibly cause a recruit to be injured (on a roadway, on any firing range, in a rifle range target area (butts) while firing is in progress, confined spaces, etc.).
  8. After an evening shower and until scheduled reveille the following morning.
  9. On the recruit training battalion headquarters side of the parade deck.
  • Rifle exercises may be accomplished in any sequence and will not be administered more than 1 time in an hour period.  The rifle extension is performed with arms fully extended, the elbows locked and the palms facing up.  Under no circumstances will anything ever be put on the rifle to add extra weight.  Ensure a 30 second break between exercises when either fore up, full squat or rifle extension follow each other.
  • Recruits must wear the utility uniform when executing rifle extensions.

2. Authorized Incentive Training Techniques

  • Drill Instructors may only use the physical, rifle and instructional rifle handling techniques listed on this card when conducting Incentive Training.  Each IT session will include a combination of at least 3 exercises included on this card and will include a 30 second break midway through the session.  The maximum length of each IT session increases from 6 to 8 minutes on T-35. When counting repetitions, Drill Instructors will emphasize proper techniques but count even those repetitions performed with poor technique.  Recruits will empty the contents of their pockets prior to performing any exercise on the IT card.
Total time limits:
F-3 to T-343 Min/30 Sec/3 Min
T-35 to T-604 Min/30 Sec/4 Min

 

Physical Exercises:F-3 to T-34T-35 to T-60
Side Straddle Hops*50100
Stationary Dbl Time30 Seconds60 Seconds
Pushups (Shoulder Width)*2030
Arm Rotations3060
Mountain Climbers3050
Steam Engines2030
Abdominal Crunch4050
(*) Exercises are done at quick time cadence

 

Rifle Exercises:F-3 to T-34T-35 to T-60
Fore Ups, Front of Neck1520
Up and Forward1520

Fore Up, Full Squat15 Reps/30Sec/15 Reps25 Reps/30 Sec/25 Reps
Rifle Extensions60 Sec/30 Sec/60 Sec60 Sec/30 Sec/60 Sec

Instructional Rifle Handling (IRH) Exercise.

Drill Instructors may require recruits/Marines to perform pushups to help remind them of the negative consequences of dropping a weapon.  Do not combine with other IT.

 F-3 to T-34T-35 to M-4
Push Ups (2 ct)1525

 

3. Heat Conditions

Heat Condition Table:

PeriodProcessingF-1 TO H-2T-12 TO M-6ALL
ActivityALL FLAGSGREEN/YELLOWGREEN/YELLOWRED/BLACK
Physical TrainingNoYes / NoYes / YesNo / No
RunningNoYes / NoYes / YesNo / No
Close Order Drill*NoYes / No*Yes / YesNo / No
Incentive TrainingNoYes / NoYes / YesNo / No
Outdoor Training**NoYes / NoYes / YesNo** / No
*Close Order Drill facing movements and rifle manual may be performed indoors
**Qualifications firing may continue under red flag conditions when authorized by the CO, WFTBN

Heat Casualty Prevention

During Hot Weather

  • Increase water consumption and supervise regular intake by recruits.
  • Regulate training according to the Heat Condition Table.
  • Encourage proper diet; salt food to taste.
  • Be alert to heat illness symptoms (refer to the bottom of this card) and other physical illnesses.
  • Modify uniform clothing, as authorized, for proper radiation protection, ventilation and dissipation of body heat.

Heat Casualty Treatment And Immediate Action

  • Check for responsiveness using the ABC’s (Check airway, breathing, and consciousness and circulation).
  • Initiate CPR if necessary.  Call for medical assistance and an ambulance immediately.
  • Dispatch a runner (DI) to guide ambulance.
  • Remove casualty to shaded area.  Lay victim down and loosen or remove outer clothing.
  • Evacuate as soon as possible.

Heat Stroke Symptoms

  • Hot, dry flushed skin.
  • On occasion there may be residual perspiration on the skin.
  • Casualty may become dizzy, lose consciousness or be delirious.

Heat Exhaustion Symptoms

  • Skin is pale cool with profuse sweating.
  • Pulse is weak and rapid.

Emergency Ambulance:    MCRD 9-911        WFTBN 911

 

[Note: The Parris Island version of the IT Card can be found on pages 131-133 of Depot Order (DepO) 1513.6B. The relevant pages of this order can be found Here.]

Safety and Peace

NINJA_PUNCH