Some of the dumbest people I’ve ever known are Marines

My advise to everyone here thinking about going into the Marine Corps……..DONT!  Join the Army or the Air Force.  I’ve learned in my years in the Corps that most leaders are all about them selfs, not about the Corps.  They may use the Corps as an excuse as to why they do a lot of the stupid things they do; but the fact is that most leadership, mostly SNCO’s and maybe a few officers care more about them selfs than anything else.

Some of the dumbest people I’ve ever known are Marines.  And what’s worse is that all of these MOTARDS lead Marines.  I work with one right now who is about the dumbest SNCO I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s all ego and very little common sense.  I work with another one who has no initive.  These are the kind of people that are getting promoted even with bad paper work on them.  If you have a good PFT/CFT, done some PME that no one really does any way and look sexy in your promotion picture, you will get promoted.  I’ve known some terds that have made rank that way.  This is because the promotion boards are selecting people for too much of the wrong reasons.

Submitted by: FRUSTRATED!

My Gunny Lost His NVG’s in Iraq – Blamed and Punished Whole Unit

When I was in Iraq, our Gunny lost his NVG’s (night vision goggles). Guess who got in trouble? Everyone below the rank of Gunny…  In the middle of the desert, everyone had to dump their gear and wait for hours while SNCO’s searched our belongings.  All operations were halted.  The NVG’s were never found. Everyone continued to get fucked with for the next couple of days. The gunny “Gunnery Sergeant Alston” (also involved in the drowning at MCRD Camp Pendleton a few years back) was never punished.

It is my belief he should not only be punished for losing his equipment, but also be punished for abusing his authority and blaming his WHOLE ENTIRE UNIT instead of taking responsibility for his own actions.

As far as I have seen, this is what the majority of the leadership in the Marine Corps consists of.

Submitted by: Civilian

I am a Shitbag…

I’m the guy who doesn’t like to get pushed around. I’m the guy that likes to stand for what he believes in. I’m the guy that doesn’t follow the crowd. I’m the guy that has morals, that believes belittling someone is not only wrong, but is an example of horrible leadership. I’m a shit bag.

Yesterday, a fellow Lance Corporal of mine, and a very good friend, caught his rifle on his trouser pocket during the middle of drill and ended up dropping it. Of course, every person there went straight to drill instructor mode after seeing it. “Push, bitch! Push!!” “Follow it.” “Oh good mother fucker. Just drop your fuckin rifle, too,” as if he meant to do it on purpose. So today, our dumb ass SNCOIC decided it would be a great idea for him to carry one of those rubber rifles around all day to “make sure he can properly handle a rifle like a man.” As soon as I saw this, I went up to my buddy and mentioned that he should probably say something considering this could very well be a case of hazing. He didn’t think he should bring it up because of the ramifications that that particular word would bring up. I decided if he wasn’t gonna bring it up then I was gonna help out a friend and talk to his Corporal, which by the way is an easy going person. She listened to me and was unsure if she should bring it up, mainly because she doesn’t have a set of kohonas (spell chk). If she wasn’t gonna do anything then I was gonna go to a buddy of mine that was just recently promoted to Corporal (Notice I’m going to nobody at all in my immediate chain of command). He believed the same thing I did about the lance and decided to go talk to his NCOs, something I wish I could do only this whole rank thing was the difference in me being a child and an adult. As good of a lance as I am, I of course eavesdropped on them. His Sgt went on saying that he believed that he was being hazed as well but was gonna wait until the next work day to say something, which makes no sense to me at all. He also went on saying that what he was afraid of was that if it was in fact brought up to their SNCO that he would find some loophole sayin that it was “extra military instruction.” So nothing came of that until about 20 mins later. I passed his SNCO in the hall and he stopped me and proceded to call me every name in the book because I am getting the idea of hazing in the head of his Lance Corporal. He then asked me if I even knew the order on hazing. Of course I told him the correct order, which in essence caught him off guard. Once he gathered himself, he then went on asking how I knew it and I told him that I looked it up earlier on my phone. He took that and ran with it, saying that I never do anything at all but play on my phone yadda yadda yadda. I knew I had him beat and it felt great. He then told me that I need to go check out a rifle at supply as well (notice he didn’t say what I needed it for, though we all knew). Of course I did cause it was a lawful order to check it out. I couldn’t wait to get back to the shop so the second he told me that I needed to carry it around all day, I could request mast on his ass in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I really didn’t see him the rest of the day, considering at this point it was closing time.

Moral of the story, don’t be afraid of standing up to some washed up, stick-in-their-ass SNCO’s because they might yell at you. If you believe that you are in the right and they are in the wrong, go for it. The way I looked at it, if for some reason this were to back fire on me, it wouldn’t phase me for two reasons: 1) He had way more to lose than I did and 2) I’m not making the same mistake twice. Remember, friends don’t let friends reenlist.

Submitted by: Shitbag

Finish your time and get out

All you can do is do your time and get the hell out. I totally agree with what you say. SNCO’s mostly care for themselves. Im sure once upon a time when they were junior marines they told themselves they would never treat their marines the way they were treated. Bottom line once you pick up staff your work ethics and overall knowledge of what it is to be a socially acceptable considerate supervisor drastically decreases to the point of openly embarrasing their marines and doing paperwork on them for the same shit they did once before. I am a reservist. I have deployed several times. I can tell you this. Doing your one time enlistment and getting out before you make a huge mistake and re-up is the best chance that you have at making it in the real world. Think about it. You stay pick up ssgt..then gy..then all the way up the ranks you go. Then you retire. For the last decade or so your avg work day has consisted of you sitting on your ass playing on fb and talking old corps antics to the guy next to you who is most likely only listening because he thinks that by doing so he has a better chance at getting that next rank which is probably true. Then you embark on your civilian life finally..where you now must try and fathom that if you call your co-worker a fat ass or a fucking retard you will likely be terminated. Not to I said..for the past decade you have been sitting on your ass barking orders that make absolutely no sense whatsoever. Therfore when you are approached by a 24 year old boss man who ask’s you to perform a simple task you then automatically assume that you must be given respect for being a retired lazy SNCO. I could go on and on. Bottom line..get out..go to college. Then look back on your 4 or 6 years in the shittiest branch of service and go yeah I use to be a retard. But now I have a degree..I am ethically and morally strong. The end.


Submitted By: MrJellyBeanMan

Every fucking day I try to find a reason to re-enlist and there is none.

Every fucking day I try to find a reason to re-enlist and there is none.  I was told that it would change once I picked up, and things would get better, it didn’t.  Now I’m 8 months away from EAS and still can’t find a reason to re-enlist.  The stupid butt-fucking garrison bullshit games that POG-ass SNCO’s play, the doubletapped duty rosters which strangely lack the names of the office clerks, the safety stand downs that tell you what drugs are undetectable and where to buy them as well as how to not get caught, Blues inspection every other week and the ball is 10 months away, being broke as fuck unless you’re married, alcohol solves many of your problems, alcohol causes many of the problems, someone beating the living bejeezus out of their wife/girlfriend in a locked double concrete-sealed bunker is YOUR fault, your SNCO finishes inspecting your immaculate room and then magically finds a half speck of lint probably from his cammies but it’s in your room so he will be back in an hour while you re-field day, all-hands formation to move five (5) folding paraty tables, pro’s and con’s are “what I like about this guy” and “what I don’t like about this guy” marks instead of proficiency and conduct marks, waking up at an hour that shouldn’t exist to run for an hour and a half in short chopped steps while constantly circling up the stragglers like lost cattle every 50 feet, planning to see your family and friends for the holidays or 96 only to get slapped with duty when you know that the ass clowns in the head shed don’t have duty or a life outside the barracks, the only half-decent females that you see are spouses or dependents that are not yet of age, shitty roommates you have to live with that try and steal your shit especially CIF, wanna-be alpha males whose voices rise in decibels with the amount of paint on the collar of those who surround them, if you don’t correct someone like a douchebag you’re not correcting them correctly… it goes on and on really.  And it really sucks to say that I can’t find a reason at all to re-enlist.

We all joined up and knew we were putting ourselves in harms way to accomplish something greater and serve our country but instead it feels more like serving time and some tiny-pricked SSgt’s beckoned call.  If Call of Duty had 26 field day levels before you got to play 1 two-minute level of carrying your rifle and shooting 1 round in the air, it would probably be more realistic and sell less. ‘Nuff said.

But to be honest, I’m proud of some of the things I’ve done and the opportunities to do it -but if my family and friends knew about the stupid shit we do in garrison on the daily they would bitch-slap the shit out of me right after disowning me.

I get my 100 points in everything minus a 22:30-ish run, shoot expert, completed all req’d PME and have some off-duty education, SQ 2, working on secret clearance to fill a staff billet, stay behind extra hours to make sure gear and briefs are prepared for the next day/mission with my Marines, and still do the counseling/mentoring BS and it’s like “hey, you’re an asset -but I’m gonna keep shitting on you because we need to see how far we can ride this out.  While Cpl Sand-in-his-fat-ass gets to skate because he yells at the juniors all the time and has them at parade rest 24/7.” —Why the fuck would anyone want to stay and re-enlist?

Is this some kind of reverse psychology selling point? Like, “I’m gonna rape you ’till you love me.”?
The only ones that I see scrambling for re-enlistment papers are brown-nosers who could be poster-boys for a health magazine but suck completely at their jobs and are ineffective at leading people because they’ve never really done their job because they were too busy doing brown-noser things and getting a proper tan, OR the fat Marine, who married a fat girl, and had fat babies.

There’s so many perks to getting out vs the shittyness of staying in and I don’t know why most of the SNCO’s say that there are so many benefits of staying in, when there are 0 benefits.

When I EAS, I plan on going to SFSU and get my degree for Physical Therapy.  Maybe I’ll work DoD side and help fix some broken buddies, maybe I’ll come back officer-side (doubt it though).

My dad served fighting the vietnamese and I joined with to kick haji around.  I’ll probably be utilizing the awesome powers of VEERP to help speed my way on to bigger and better things, but there’s a tiny part that wishes I had a reason to re-enlist.

Again, there are zero reasons.  I think in all honesty if you aren’t married and/or have kids, OR this isn’t the only job you are smart enough to do, and you re-enlist… YOU’VE HAD AN EASY FUCKING SKATE TERM and hardly ever got shafted. THE END. – PlanToGETSHITon

Fleet Marine Life #6 – An Idea is Born

[I joined the Marines in 2006. It is 2011 (almost 2012) and I have yet to climb a giant cliff only to confront an fire breathing dragon and a SNCO sword… With that said, enjoy one of the earlier FML comics about some idiot joining the Marines because of a commercial with a bit too much fantasy. ~S_The_Mod]




Now, those who have joined the Marine Corps have been sucked into the idea of this “different world” where you slay dragons while driving your tank with hot women clamoring at your body. But it is the exact opposite. You will not slay dragons. You will not drive tanks. You will not have women clamoring at you and if they are, they are probably men.

What do you do if you don’t get to slay dragons all day and night? Stay awhile and find out.

Slaying dragons since 1775. K.