Things that are wrong with the Marine Corps. The Master List.

things that are wrong with marine corps master list

Behold! The master list of everything that is wrong with the Marine Corps. We will take in all feedback and continue to build on this list over time. Keep in mind, that some of the things on this list are there for comedic purposes.”

Also, most of these actually pertain to DoD in general, and not just the MC.

Without further delay, here is the current list:

  1. Over-indulgence in esprit de corps: We spend so much effort congratulating ourselves for being Marines, but too little on asking how to ensure that distinction matters. We have this attitude of “I’m a Marine, I made it” as opposed to “How good can I possibly be? Am I what my country needs today and tomorrow?” Spoiler alert: country doesn’t need 18 year olds with rifles to storm beaches. We BADLY need a lightweight, amphibious raid force from the sea, usually operating at company level and below.
  2. Field Days: The idea of a married SNCO that doesn’t have to live with this bullshit coming into my room and telling me it’s unsat.
  3. MCIs: Seriously, has anyone ever taken one of these classes and not cheated? I once went to my Company Clerk and asked him how to get a proctor for an MCI Test because I wanted to do it legitimately, and he just looked at me with this dumbfounded stare for a few seconds before telling me that he had no idea how to do it and I should just cheat like everyone else. Unless your future college accepts MCIs for credit, they’re practically useless.
  4. Mandatory Fun Days: Nothing says “building camaraderie” quite like being forced to spend even MORE time with the same people that you work with and live with on a daily basis; and then getting chewed out by some NCO or SNCO because your belt (in your civilian clothes no less) extends past the buckle to the right, instead of to the left.
  5. Pro/Con Marks: I swear, no one in the entire marine corps knows how to properly rate their marines’ Proficiency and Conduct Marks. So, even though there are a pair of very simple charts that tell NCOs and SNCOs what ratings to assign, the whole process devolves into a popularity contest.
  6. Fitreps: Pretty much the only way to get promoted past the rank of Sgt is to make sure you have a Fitness Report that sparkles like a diamond. Unfortunately, that usually means being adept in finding ways to take the credit for your unit’s successes while shifting the blame for failures onto your subordinates. Then these same SNCO’s have the guile to talk about their “superior leadership abilities”.
  7. Illiteracy of SNCOs.
  8. Illiteracy of fucking everyone.
  9. Decreasing standards just to make people pass schools. 
  10. Professional reading list. 
  11. The prevalent sexism. “Hurr durr, she sucked dick to get promoted.” C’mon. It’s the 21st century. Grow up.
  12. The prevalent preferential sexism/racism 2.0. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen it. The platonic guy friend SNCOs with new female boots. The fucking homeboy back in the hood homeboys in the supply building. This shit has no place in the Corps.
  13. The eagerness to counsel and punish when someone fucks up and then turning a blind eye when someone does something good. It is meant to be an equal system. Want to counsel someone for a fuckup? That’s fine. Just don’t exclusively use the system for punishment. It’s meant to be used for both or not at all.
  14.  Mass punishments: Because if a marine goes off base, gets drunk and assaults a cab driver, it’s somehow my fault for not knowing that he was going to do that and preventing him.
  15. 15 minutes prior to 15 minutes prior to 15 minutes prior… : Everyone in the marine corps likes to say “You’re a grown man” yet they don’t even trust a marine with something as simple as being to work on time.
  16. Armorers and the armory in general. Fuck everyone and everything about it. I’ve never seen an armorer that wasn’t on BCP. Don’t even get butthurt about this one. Just shut the fuck up, sit down, and admit it.
  17. Chucks on Friday and pretty much everyone this last Commandant did.
  18. TA getting cut. The congress got a raise and our TA got cut. Just another public embarrassment. Applies to all branches.
  19. Receiving NJP because of an incident that happened off base somehow doesn’t qualify as double jeopardy.
  20. Imminent danger zone pay getting pro-rated by day. Just another way to nickel-and-dime the very people that volunteer for these bullshit deployments anyway. At least fucking pay us.
  21. SNCOs that were nowhere near the shooting at Camp Bastion on Sep 15, 2012 nominating themselves for CARs and NAMs. You guys know who you are.
  22. Junior enlisted marriages. We essentially bribe 19 year old kids (who are modestly paid and frequently away) to get married…GTFO the barracks + pay doubles + girlfriend from back home lives with you. It’s hard to say no. The marriages are generally badly matched between people too immature for the responsibility, finances are tight, babies are had, so the now Corporal with a toddler has to choose between EAS + uncertainty, or re-up and guaranteed paycheck. This logic is the start of many career guys’ decision to stick around…instead of retaining our best, we retain those who gave in to temptation and accepted the marriage bribe. As a result, our cream doesn’t rise to the top…the guys who need the job security rise to the top. Once there, they make shit decisions and make poisonous command climates, which perpetuates the cycle.
  23. Manpower Assignments. Our system makes the assumption that central manpower managers make better decisions for the individual and the service than individuals can do. As a result, getting the right guy in the right billet is a matter of chance.

To be continued… If you have any ideas to add to or modify this list, please leave them in the comment section below.